Read Online Jaguar's Kiss (Lone Pine Pride) by Vivi Andrews - Free Book Online Page B
Authors: Vivi Andrews
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our lives.”
He put his back to the railing beside her, close enough to feel the heat of her body and breathe in the scent of her, though he still didn’t touch her. “What about you, Lila? Is your life full of fun?”
“Of course.” But she didn’t look at him, casting her gaze out over the forest.
He knew he should give her space, respect her desire to be just friends, her fear of anything more, but having her here, in his home, her scent tangling with his, it made him want to wrap his arms around her and never let her go. If he didn’t touch her he would go mad. Santiago coiled a lock of her hair around his finger. “What do you say, Lila Fallon? Do I know you well enough to be allowed to kiss you again? It could be fun.”
“Please, don’t.” She twisted away, putting the width of the deck between them. “I’m marrying Roman.”
Irritation surged through him. “Why?”
“Excuse me?”
He prowled after her, the cat pushing against the inside of his skin. “Just answer me that. Tell me why you’re marrying him and I won’t bother you again.”
He wasn’t sure he’d be able to keep that bargain, but it didn’t matter anyway. She was shaking her head, backing away from him. “I don’t have to answer that.” She escaped to the lower deck, turning and darting toward the door.
“No, you don’t.” It was instinct more than thought that had him surging up behind her, reaching past her shoulder to slap both palms on the door, caging her between him and the wood. She went still, the hot, sweet scent of her killing him breath by breath. She didn’t love Roman. Santiago knew that with every beat of his heart. The idea of letting her go back to him made his every animal instinct revolt. “I have one last question for you before you go running back to him. Not for me, this answer is for you alone.”
She turned her head and met his gaze from a distance of inches, tipping her chin back defiantly. “Yes?”
“Are you happy? With him, with this life you say is all you want? Are. You. Happy?”
Anger flashed in her eyes, bright and hot. “It isn’t your job to fix me.”
“No,” he agreed. “But it breaks my heart to think of you broken.”
“Why? What’s so freaking special about me?”
“ Everything .” He didn’t know why but Lila had unlocked something in him, supernovas of emotion. He cupped her jaw. “Don’t you see that? You’re like the only star burning in the solar system, lighting up everything around you, making everything you touch come alive. The moon, the planets—none of them would have any light or color without you.”
She sucked in a ragged gasp. Something melted in her eyes and for a second he thought she would lean into him, that she would take what he was offering, that this would be the moment when Lila Fallon was finally, irrevocably his .
But then a shadow fell across her gaze and her eyelashes flicked down.
“That isn’t me,” she whispered. “You built this whole fantasy around a girl you played football with five years ago. I could have been anyone.”
“Bullshit. It’s you, Lila. Do you think I don’t know the difference? I did everything I could to try to make myself stop wanting you.”
She looked up, meeting his eyes again. “Try harder.”
The finality of the words echoed through him. Failure tasted vile, bitter and sour.
The gates he’d opened for her, the ones behind which he usually hid all that teeming emotion, snapped closed, layers of steel veiling his eyes. He stepped back, dropping his hands from her, his jaw working. “We should get you back. They’ll be missing you.”
She nodded, not meeting his eyes, and darted inside, running away. Always running away from anything she might want.
He couldn’t stay, he realized. Not if she picked Roman. He just wouldn’t be able to do it. He’d sell the house. There was no point in it without her. He’d leave, and he wouldn’t look back. It would be his only hope of staying sane,
He put his back to the railing beside her, close enough to feel the heat of her body and breathe in the scent of her, though he still didn’t touch her. “What about you, Lila? Is your life full of fun?”
“Of course.” But she didn’t look at him, casting her gaze out over the forest.
He knew he should give her space, respect her desire to be just friends, her fear of anything more, but having her here, in his home, her scent tangling with his, it made him want to wrap his arms around her and never let her go. If he didn’t touch her he would go mad. Santiago coiled a lock of her hair around his finger. “What do you say, Lila Fallon? Do I know you well enough to be allowed to kiss you again? It could be fun.”
“Please, don’t.” She twisted away, putting the width of the deck between them. “I’m marrying Roman.”
Irritation surged through him. “Why?”
“Excuse me?”
He prowled after her, the cat pushing against the inside of his skin. “Just answer me that. Tell me why you’re marrying him and I won’t bother you again.”
He wasn’t sure he’d be able to keep that bargain, but it didn’t matter anyway. She was shaking her head, backing away from him. “I don’t have to answer that.” She escaped to the lower deck, turning and darting toward the door.
“No, you don’t.” It was instinct more than thought that had him surging up behind her, reaching past her shoulder to slap both palms on the door, caging her between him and the wood. She went still, the hot, sweet scent of her killing him breath by breath. She didn’t love Roman. Santiago knew that with every beat of his heart. The idea of letting her go back to him made his every animal instinct revolt. “I have one last question for you before you go running back to him. Not for me, this answer is for you alone.”
She turned her head and met his gaze from a distance of inches, tipping her chin back defiantly. “Yes?”
“Are you happy? With him, with this life you say is all you want? Are. You. Happy?”
Anger flashed in her eyes, bright and hot. “It isn’t your job to fix me.”
“No,” he agreed. “But it breaks my heart to think of you broken.”
“Why? What’s so freaking special about me?”
“ Everything .” He didn’t know why but Lila had unlocked something in him, supernovas of emotion. He cupped her jaw. “Don’t you see that? You’re like the only star burning in the solar system, lighting up everything around you, making everything you touch come alive. The moon, the planets—none of them would have any light or color without you.”
She sucked in a ragged gasp. Something melted in her eyes and for a second he thought she would lean into him, that she would take what he was offering, that this would be the moment when Lila Fallon was finally, irrevocably his .
But then a shadow fell across her gaze and her eyelashes flicked down.
“That isn’t me,” she whispered. “You built this whole fantasy around a girl you played football with five years ago. I could have been anyone.”
“Bullshit. It’s you, Lila. Do you think I don’t know the difference? I did everything I could to try to make myself stop wanting you.”
She looked up, meeting his eyes again. “Try harder.”
The finality of the words echoed through him. Failure tasted vile, bitter and sour.
The gates he’d opened for her, the ones behind which he usually hid all that teeming emotion, snapped closed, layers of steel veiling his eyes. He stepped back, dropping his hands from her, his jaw working. “We should get you back. They’ll be missing you.”
She nodded, not meeting his eyes, and darted inside, running away. Always running away from anything she might want.
He couldn’t stay, he realized. Not if she picked Roman. He just wouldn’t be able to do it. He’d sell the house. There was no point in it without her. He’d leave, and he wouldn’t look back. It would be his only hope of staying sane,
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