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Authors: GloZell Green
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was, I tried to understand. Heâd just tragically lost his father and was now about to lose his wife. I thought maybe the divorce papers were just a side effect of depression. I told him Iâd wait until the end of the monthbefore signing the papers, hoping that perhaps some sanity would find its way in.
It never did.
Within three weeks heâd paid next monthâs rent, moved out, and completely disengaged. This is just me speculating, but throughout that whole week when we were apart, I am pretty sure the constant drumbeat of his motherâs disapproval finally wore him down. I am one hundred percent sure he let his mother believe the decision to skip the second funeral was all me, and that he had nothing to do with it. Heâd made a string of excuses for his acting career from almost the very beginning, so honestly it only made sense that he make excuses for himself when it came to our relationship. His excuses cost him on both fronts: he quit on his dream, and he bailed on our marriage.
Ladies, if you get married, know who your competition is: itâs not other women, itâs your mother-in-law. And guess what, you wonât win. If you can find a man who makes you happy, and he doesnât have a relationship with his mother, snap him up! (Iâm joking, obviously, but only kind of.) To Tikeâs mother, there could only be one winner for his affection and it was going to be her. She was right. She was clearly the only winner in this mess.
If life wasnât a fairy tale before, well, I donât know the name for what it became. Because now I faced a type of adversity I had never experienced before.
When Dr. Palmer passed away, it changed everything for my dad. It could have thrown his entire plan into disarray if heâd let it. He could have thrown up his hands and quit. He was the opposite of Tike in that wayâhe made no excuses and got down to work. So thatâs what I would do, too.
I immediately went into survival mode. Stand-up wasnât paying anything, and California is expensive, so I had to figure out how on earth I was going to live here. I knew I wasnât going to go back to Florida with less than I came to California withâwhen I left, I had a husband, a dog, and a cat (which Tike took)âand I certainly couldnât go back with nothing at all.
Fortunately, I always knew deep in my heart, for as long as I could remember, that if I could just get to California, I would always be able to figure something out. I took a page right out of my dadâs book: I would get two jobs to pay for my dreams. So I worked at a Sylvan learning center and an all-womenâs gym during the day, which paid the rent while I did stand-up at night.
You might think a situation like this would cause me to scale back my stand-up. GloZell, youâre divorced and youâll probably need to move out soon, maybe you should take a step back and regroup? Noâit inspired me to do the opposite. I dove in headfirst. To quote Sheryl Sandberg, this was one of those moments where a lady has to lean in .
I went into Hollywood and hit the clubs every night. Monday was The Improv on Melrose. Tuesday was Ha Ha Café in North Hollywood. Wednesday was The Comedy Store on Sunset. Thursday was The Laugh Factory a couple blocks down from The Comedy Store; and then the weekend was a free-for-all. This is what the greats did to get their TV shows, so this is what I was going to do.
The next three years were the toughest of my career, but Iâm positive I wouldnât be where I am today if I hadnât gone through them. I had taken complete responsibility for my life and my career after Tike left, and it made all the difference. I learned who I was and who I wasnât during those years, and I figured out what I really wanted. I met new people and made new relationships that would propel me into the next phase of my career. And I know that if Iâd spent all my time
It never did.
Within three weeks heâd paid next monthâs rent, moved out, and completely disengaged. This is just me speculating, but throughout that whole week when we were apart, I am pretty sure the constant drumbeat of his motherâs disapproval finally wore him down. I am one hundred percent sure he let his mother believe the decision to skip the second funeral was all me, and that he had nothing to do with it. Heâd made a string of excuses for his acting career from almost the very beginning, so honestly it only made sense that he make excuses for himself when it came to our relationship. His excuses cost him on both fronts: he quit on his dream, and he bailed on our marriage.
Ladies, if you get married, know who your competition is: itâs not other women, itâs your mother-in-law. And guess what, you wonât win. If you can find a man who makes you happy, and he doesnât have a relationship with his mother, snap him up! (Iâm joking, obviously, but only kind of.) To Tikeâs mother, there could only be one winner for his affection and it was going to be her. She was right. She was clearly the only winner in this mess.
If life wasnât a fairy tale before, well, I donât know the name for what it became. Because now I faced a type of adversity I had never experienced before.
When Dr. Palmer passed away, it changed everything for my dad. It could have thrown his entire plan into disarray if heâd let it. He could have thrown up his hands and quit. He was the opposite of Tike in that wayâhe made no excuses and got down to work. So thatâs what I would do, too.
I immediately went into survival mode. Stand-up wasnât paying anything, and California is expensive, so I had to figure out how on earth I was going to live here. I knew I wasnât going to go back to Florida with less than I came to California withâwhen I left, I had a husband, a dog, and a cat (which Tike took)âand I certainly couldnât go back with nothing at all.
Fortunately, I always knew deep in my heart, for as long as I could remember, that if I could just get to California, I would always be able to figure something out. I took a page right out of my dadâs book: I would get two jobs to pay for my dreams. So I worked at a Sylvan learning center and an all-womenâs gym during the day, which paid the rent while I did stand-up at night.
You might think a situation like this would cause me to scale back my stand-up. GloZell, youâre divorced and youâll probably need to move out soon, maybe you should take a step back and regroup? Noâit inspired me to do the opposite. I dove in headfirst. To quote Sheryl Sandberg, this was one of those moments where a lady has to lean in .
I went into Hollywood and hit the clubs every night. Monday was The Improv on Melrose. Tuesday was Ha Ha Café in North Hollywood. Wednesday was The Comedy Store on Sunset. Thursday was The Laugh Factory a couple blocks down from The Comedy Store; and then the weekend was a free-for-all. This is what the greats did to get their TV shows, so this is what I was going to do.
The next three years were the toughest of my career, but Iâm positive I wouldnât be where I am today if I hadnât gone through them. I had taken complete responsibility for my life and my career after Tike left, and it made all the difference. I learned who I was and who I wasnât during those years, and I figured out what I really wanted. I met new people and made new relationships that would propel me into the next phase of my career. And I know that if Iâd spent all my time
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