needed to clear my head. I needed to figure out what the hell I was gonna do, how I would tell her parents. How I could make things right or how I could walk away.
Nothing was clear to me. Nothing in my life before this moment wasn’t a laid out plan. The only thing that had changed was everything that was fucking important to me. My best friend had been gone for three years; I had avoided any connection to him for that long, and then Frankie. Fuck!
I was a man of my word and, by God, if she didn’t do as I said. Break up with a fucking boy who beats her because he can’t make her feel any other way. I was gonna do what I had to do.
I grabbed my laptop and checked my email. Mother had sent me a list of events, or opportunities as she called them. I chose three that were close enough to Norfolk to drive and were close in date. I needed something to keep me occupied. I had no desire to go out and no desire to sit home.
Luckily, I was doing flight rescue drills so I wouldn’t run into Frankie for the next couple days. But after that I would run into her and I prayed she’d do the right thing.
* * *
I sat looking at the clock and typed in Frankie’s number. I got it from a file in the training center. Wrong or right, it had to be done.
I sent a message:
Two hours, Frankie.
I stood up and walked out the sliding glass doors and onto the deck. I stood staring at the ocean.
I turned around when I heard the doors slide open.
“Hi,” I leaned back against the railing and watched her pull her phone out of her pocket.
She pushed a button and it rang a few times before I heard his voice.
“Hello.”
“Hey Joel.”
“What’s up?”
“Look, this thing we’ve been doing has to stop.”
“I agree, wasn’t my idea to begin with. You’re the one who likes it dirty, girl.”
Her eyes closed and her cheeks turned pink.
“Joel I mean all of it. I’m breaking up—”
“What the fuck ever, Frankie. Seriously, over the fucking phone, that’s a bitch move, you know. You ought to have your ass beat for that.”
“Yeah, well, here’s the thing. I’m not calling you names, so you shouldn’t be—”
“Who the fuck is he, who’s beating your ass now, or have you gotten into even more twisted shit?”
“No one’s beating my ass, Joel. Look, I gotta go.”
“No fucking problem, Frankie, and just so you know, I’ve gotten more head since starting college than you ever gave.”
“Congratulations. Goodbye, Joel.”
She hung up the phone and looked up at me. “You happy now?”
“Yes.”
“You know it’s not going to change a thing. I’ll find someone else to make me feel and you’ll have to wonder if this guy will stop once he starts. Joel knew the word no. So you sleep on that one.”
“What makes you think I’m gonna let you sleep with anyone else?”
“Fuck you, Jax.”
“And only me. We do this my way.”
“What the hell are you talking about? Me and you? Yeah, right. It lasted, what, two hours before you kicked me outta here to play cards? I have no desire to be fourth or fifth on someone’s to do list.”
I couldn’t help but laugh and then she turned around and opened the door.
I grabbed her shoulder and turned her around, “That’s why you walked out of here. That’s why you got all pissed off and crazy acting?”
“Don’t laugh at me Jax. Don’t you fucking laugh at me!”
Tears started pouring down her face, “Okay. Jesus, Frankie.”
I pulled her into my arms and hugged her.
“Let go, Jax.”
“I can’t, Frankie. I wish I could but I can’t.”
She was a mess. She was a mess and had been trying to hold it all together for three fucking years now.
I stood back and held her biceps.
“You’re beautiful when you cry, Frankie.”
She looked at me like I was insane and fuck, maybe I was.
“Look, I don’t wanna hurt you or be hurt by you. For three years now I’ve thought about you. And for three years it felt wrong to do that. I
Nothing was clear to me. Nothing in my life before this moment wasn’t a laid out plan. The only thing that had changed was everything that was fucking important to me. My best friend had been gone for three years; I had avoided any connection to him for that long, and then Frankie. Fuck!
I was a man of my word and, by God, if she didn’t do as I said. Break up with a fucking boy who beats her because he can’t make her feel any other way. I was gonna do what I had to do.
I grabbed my laptop and checked my email. Mother had sent me a list of events, or opportunities as she called them. I chose three that were close enough to Norfolk to drive and were close in date. I needed something to keep me occupied. I had no desire to go out and no desire to sit home.
Luckily, I was doing flight rescue drills so I wouldn’t run into Frankie for the next couple days. But after that I would run into her and I prayed she’d do the right thing.
* * *
I sat looking at the clock and typed in Frankie’s number. I got it from a file in the training center. Wrong or right, it had to be done.
I sent a message:
Two hours, Frankie.
I stood up and walked out the sliding glass doors and onto the deck. I stood staring at the ocean.
I turned around when I heard the doors slide open.
“Hi,” I leaned back against the railing and watched her pull her phone out of her pocket.
She pushed a button and it rang a few times before I heard his voice.
“Hello.”
“Hey Joel.”
“What’s up?”
“Look, this thing we’ve been doing has to stop.”
“I agree, wasn’t my idea to begin with. You’re the one who likes it dirty, girl.”
Her eyes closed and her cheeks turned pink.
“Joel I mean all of it. I’m breaking up—”
“What the fuck ever, Frankie. Seriously, over the fucking phone, that’s a bitch move, you know. You ought to have your ass beat for that.”
“Yeah, well, here’s the thing. I’m not calling you names, so you shouldn’t be—”
“Who the fuck is he, who’s beating your ass now, or have you gotten into even more twisted shit?”
“No one’s beating my ass, Joel. Look, I gotta go.”
“No fucking problem, Frankie, and just so you know, I’ve gotten more head since starting college than you ever gave.”
“Congratulations. Goodbye, Joel.”
She hung up the phone and looked up at me. “You happy now?”
“Yes.”
“You know it’s not going to change a thing. I’ll find someone else to make me feel and you’ll have to wonder if this guy will stop once he starts. Joel knew the word no. So you sleep on that one.”
“What makes you think I’m gonna let you sleep with anyone else?”
“Fuck you, Jax.”
“And only me. We do this my way.”
“What the hell are you talking about? Me and you? Yeah, right. It lasted, what, two hours before you kicked me outta here to play cards? I have no desire to be fourth or fifth on someone’s to do list.”
I couldn’t help but laugh and then she turned around and opened the door.
I grabbed her shoulder and turned her around, “That’s why you walked out of here. That’s why you got all pissed off and crazy acting?”
“Don’t laugh at me Jax. Don’t you fucking laugh at me!”
Tears started pouring down her face, “Okay. Jesus, Frankie.”
I pulled her into my arms and hugged her.
“Let go, Jax.”
“I can’t, Frankie. I wish I could but I can’t.”
She was a mess. She was a mess and had been trying to hold it all together for three fucking years now.
I stood back and held her biceps.
“You’re beautiful when you cry, Frankie.”
She looked at me like I was insane and fuck, maybe I was.
“Look, I don’t wanna hurt you or be hurt by you. For three years now I’ve thought about you. And for three years it felt wrong to do that. I
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