Read Online Into White by Randi Pink - Free Book Online Page A

empty seat to make sure my headlights weren’t penetrating my lace shirt. Of course, that would be impossible, since I’d pulled out the heavy-duty, big-titty bra. I’d bought it as a Halloween costume while thrifting with Mom a few years back. Titty-Head, a female superhero who soared through the air with the help of her trusty pink cape and big-titty bra. That Halloween, I locked myself in my room and jogged figure eights around my bed, never revealing Titty-Head to anyone, not even Alex. I think I was going through some type of rebellion that year. Edgewood could do that to a girl, especially a black one.
    I’d never felt so many eyes focused on me. Even when I closed my eyes for long blinks, I felt them. So many eyes. Eyes studying my eyes. Eyes sizing up my clothes. Eyes checking out my shoes. Eyeballing my big-titty bra. Eyes every freaking where. Even Mrs. Roseland’s smiling eyes scrutinized me. I liked Mrs. Roseland, but damn. I chalked it up to some sort of new-girl disease and told myself it would subside after a few days. Plus, Jesus would surely be disappointed if I complained on the second day. Really, though, it wasn’t Jesus who scared me. It was his dad. In the Sunday school picture Bible, he looked like Zeus on the mountaintop, searching for some ungrateful maggot to strike down. I didn’t want to be that maggot, so I kept my trap shut.
    Mrs. Roseland went on for an hour about the fighting tarpon, Alabama’s state saltwater fish. Every few sentences she paused and said, “Anybody want to add anything? Anybody? Anybody? Anybody?” Crickets chirped in return. After the fourth effort, I felt sorry for her, but I couldn’t afford to raise my hand, seeing that I was technically visiting from Kansas/Missouri, and I shouldn’t know diddly about the state fish.
    When Mrs. Roseland turned her back, a crooked paper airplane sailed across the room, poked me in the shoulder blade, and landed nose-first in the cleavage of my big-titty bra. When Raymond Neily smirked and avoided eye contact, I knew who had thrown it. Dumbass. And I don’t use the word dumbass lightly; he really was, truly, in every sense of the word, a dumbass. Halfway through seventh grade, he taped a KICK MY BROTHER sign on my backpack, and vice versa on Alex’s. I saw Alex’s first and then he saw mine. That was the singular event that turned the tides for us. We went from regular kids to school jesters and never quite lived it down. Still, I couldn’t resist. I unfolded the airplane.
    Nice tits
    See what I mean? The worst part was he probably thought it was a compliment.
    Should I ball it up and throw it back? Or would a white chick dig that type of stuff?
    Jesus?
    No, I needed to handle this on my own. I refolded the airplane and shot it in his direction. Unfortunately for me, it hit an innocent redhead in the eyelid. “Hey!”
    But the class was over and I was saved by the bell. Well, not a bell exactly: After an extensive case study in human behavior, the Montgomery County Board of Education installed ocean sounds in the place of bells. They were supposed to be calming but didn’t change the frenzy in the hallways as far as I could tell. Just another inessential ornament to spend their money on.
    I quickly gathered my things to scuttle out the door.
    â€œâ€™Ey!” Deanté yelled after me. “’Ey! ’Ey!”
    I hurried along, pretending not to hear him.
    The halls filled quickly. Waves of teenagers crisscrossed one another to get to their classes, a synchronized dance. The only thing out of place was me. The seas parted on my approach. Girlfriends elbowed boyfriends, cheerleaders looked at their feet. Football players, dance girls, flag girls, even mathletes hushed in my presence. It was like the first scene of The Lion King , when the entire forest of African animals travel to catch a glimpse of Simba’s birth.
    From the day she arrived at our high