Read Online Into the Wildewood by Gillian Summers - Free Book Online Page B
Authors: Gillian Summers
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walked behind the Ladies of Laundry, a comedy group that presented dirty humor at the Mudville Stage. They turned around and pinched their noses with their fingers and one said in a faux English accent, “Look, Molly, it be a dragon that needs washin’.”
The other girl shook her head. “Not enough money in the kingdom for me to wash this wretched beastie.”
A blocky guy built like a troll stepped in front of her. He had strawberry blonde hair and peach fuzz on his cheeks. He carried a large quarterstaff, and burped. “’Scuse me. We did a bit of merrymaking last night, and me stomach needs a bit of mead to cure what’s ailing it.” He patted his overhanging belly, its bulge fortunately covered up by his brown tunic.
Keelie stepped back because she didn’t want to be downwind of the burp, but recognized this guy’s deep baritone voice from the singing she’d endured while camping in the Swiss Miss Chalet. From the looks of the baby-faced giant, this had to be Robin Hood’s sidekick, Little John.
He glanced at her, then did a double take. His eyes narrowed.
The fanfare began, and the parade started to move. She followed Little John. Inside the gates, all of the Merry Men had assembled in the courtyard along with their leader, Robin Hood. Prince John and his knights were on the other side of the clearing, giving them the evil eyeball as a crowd congregated to watch the show.
Maid Marian had gathered an admiring crowd, including seven little girls in princess dresses. She whispered to them, and they giggled. Maid Marian pointed in the direction of Keelie, who waved to them.
None of the princesses waved back. Instead, they picked up sticks. Before Keelie could react and run, Maid Marian and the little princesses rushed toward Plumpkin.
The princess ninjas attacked Keelie. They pounded her over and over, hitting her on the back, the legs, the arms. She swung her foot at one, intentionally missing. The kid squealed with mock fear and hit her in the knee. The point of her little light-up wand dug through the Plumpkin suit. Keelie was ready to take out a princess for real when she saw Robin Hood and Little John heading toward her and the mob of little hellions. Reinforcements. She was saved.
Little John arrived first, and, yelling like some sick animal, walloped Keelie on the butt with his quarterstaff. “Take that, you verminous scalawag.”
“Ow! That really hurt.”
The reinforcements had arrived, all right. For the wrong side.
seven
Keelie tried to rub her sore backside with her purple mittened hands while also trying to fend off her attackers.
In scarlet tights and satin cape, prissy Will Scarlet yelled, “Little John, stay away from the dragon. I will kill it for you.”
One of the little princesses piped up. “That dragon stinks.”
Robin Hood shouted, “Stop!”
Little John grabbed Keelie’s dragon head and pulled. She kicked him in the kneecap. She was aiming for his privates, but her leg wasn’t long enough. Will Scarlet stomped on her foot. She’d had it.
She screamed at him, and as she stepped back, Little John gave a really hard tug. The head came off. Keelie inhaled fresh air for the first time that morning.
Little John raised Plumpkin’s head in the air and gave a victory shout as if he was on the Renaissance Wrestling Channel or something.
Loud shrieks and screams pierced the Faire gates area as the little girls ran toward their parents. Little John turned around and looked at Keelie in shock, as if she’d roasted the little princesses. Then he dropped Plumpkin’s head onto the ground. Obviously, the line between what was pretend at the Faire, and what wasn’t, had blurred for Little John. Keelie wasn’t going to wait around for him to figure it out. She ran.
Ms. Finch was on the telephone, having a not-very-pleasant conversation with someone, while Keelie stewed and looked at the photos on the wall. They were pictures of the employees of the Wildewood Faire, as well as
The other girl shook her head. “Not enough money in the kingdom for me to wash this wretched beastie.”
A blocky guy built like a troll stepped in front of her. He had strawberry blonde hair and peach fuzz on his cheeks. He carried a large quarterstaff, and burped. “’Scuse me. We did a bit of merrymaking last night, and me stomach needs a bit of mead to cure what’s ailing it.” He patted his overhanging belly, its bulge fortunately covered up by his brown tunic.
Keelie stepped back because she didn’t want to be downwind of the burp, but recognized this guy’s deep baritone voice from the singing she’d endured while camping in the Swiss Miss Chalet. From the looks of the baby-faced giant, this had to be Robin Hood’s sidekick, Little John.
He glanced at her, then did a double take. His eyes narrowed.
The fanfare began, and the parade started to move. She followed Little John. Inside the gates, all of the Merry Men had assembled in the courtyard along with their leader, Robin Hood. Prince John and his knights were on the other side of the clearing, giving them the evil eyeball as a crowd congregated to watch the show.
Maid Marian had gathered an admiring crowd, including seven little girls in princess dresses. She whispered to them, and they giggled. Maid Marian pointed in the direction of Keelie, who waved to them.
None of the princesses waved back. Instead, they picked up sticks. Before Keelie could react and run, Maid Marian and the little princesses rushed toward Plumpkin.
The princess ninjas attacked Keelie. They pounded her over and over, hitting her on the back, the legs, the arms. She swung her foot at one, intentionally missing. The kid squealed with mock fear and hit her in the knee. The point of her little light-up wand dug through the Plumpkin suit. Keelie was ready to take out a princess for real when she saw Robin Hood and Little John heading toward her and the mob of little hellions. Reinforcements. She was saved.
Little John arrived first, and, yelling like some sick animal, walloped Keelie on the butt with his quarterstaff. “Take that, you verminous scalawag.”
“Ow! That really hurt.”
The reinforcements had arrived, all right. For the wrong side.
seven
Keelie tried to rub her sore backside with her purple mittened hands while also trying to fend off her attackers.
In scarlet tights and satin cape, prissy Will Scarlet yelled, “Little John, stay away from the dragon. I will kill it for you.”
One of the little princesses piped up. “That dragon stinks.”
Robin Hood shouted, “Stop!”
Little John grabbed Keelie’s dragon head and pulled. She kicked him in the kneecap. She was aiming for his privates, but her leg wasn’t long enough. Will Scarlet stomped on her foot. She’d had it.
She screamed at him, and as she stepped back, Little John gave a really hard tug. The head came off. Keelie inhaled fresh air for the first time that morning.
Little John raised Plumpkin’s head in the air and gave a victory shout as if he was on the Renaissance Wrestling Channel or something.
Loud shrieks and screams pierced the Faire gates area as the little girls ran toward their parents. Little John turned around and looked at Keelie in shock, as if she’d roasted the little princesses. Then he dropped Plumpkin’s head onto the ground. Obviously, the line between what was pretend at the Faire, and what wasn’t, had blurred for Little John. Keelie wasn’t going to wait around for him to figure it out. She ran.
Ms. Finch was on the telephone, having a not-very-pleasant conversation with someone, while Keelie stewed and looked at the photos on the wall. They were pictures of the employees of the Wildewood Faire, as well as
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