Read Online Interfictions 2 by Delia Sherman - Free Book Online Page A
Authors: Delia Sherman
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learning or during behavioral modifications."
* * * *
DUNBAR: How do you choose what you remember?
DUNBAR: Which pathway in my brain is the one that holds that memory?
DUNBAR: Scientifically, how do I answer this question?
* * * *
Often, he asked himself these questions. All he knew was that the brain retained information if it was interesting and exciting. If it wasn't, then it would ignore it.
* * * *
DUNBAR: But how do you choose?
* * * *
No matter how much he knew about the mechanisms of memory, he could not pick and choose what he remembered. He could not forget what he wanted to forget. And Dunbar very much wanted to forget.
* * * *
DUNBAR: How do you choose to forget?
1. First Memory
It was not a cage , he thought. It was a crib.
He was supposed to feel safe there; the mattress was soft. But the young Dunbar knew one thing. He wanted to get out. He pulled himself up by his tiny hands, using the bars to steady him. He used his small muscles to bring himself to the top of the bar. He teetered on the edge and then flung himself over and fell to the floor.
Once there, he felt pain. And so he began to scream.
His mother came into the room and picked him up.
* * * *
His mother sat in her room. She was eighty-eight years old and she remembered nothing. Not even who he was.
"Who are you?â she asked.
"Dunbar,â he said.
"That's a terrible name,â she said. âYou can bring me a (sandwich) (Coke) (sweater) (magazine)."
So he did.
He would sit there and have the same exact conversation with her twenty-two times before he would feel that he had done his duty as a loving son and finally leave the hospital.
He envied his mother. She could not remember all the pain that life had caused her. Not his angst-filled teenage years when he had tormented her with worry. Not the loss of her husband of forty-eight years, without whom she never imagined she could live.
Conveniently, all was forgotten, and she was happier than she'd ever been in her life.
Her brain had saved her from the pain of her past.
He thought that she was lucky.
If he could suppress that one thing in his mind, the thing that his mind found so interesting and he found to be pure torture, then perhaps he could finally be happy, too.
* * * *
Long-term memory. When the synaptic pathways are fluid and used, memory is easily accessible.
* * * *
There were 241 students in the Intro to Neuroscience class, and one of them was a girl with long braids piled up on top of her head. He noticed her because she looked like Heidi, from the storybook. It bothered him when she came up to him after class and told him that her name was Heidi and that she had some questions, not because he did not want to answer the questions of an eager young mind, but because his bladder was full from the terrible coffee from the break room that he'd drunk all through the class, and now he had to urinate.
"I have a few questions,â Heidi said.
"Let's walk and talk,â Dunbar said. He was snapping the laptop bag closed and rushing to get out of there. Heidi followed him through the halls.
* * * *
HEIDI: How do you choose what you remember?
DUNBAR: You cannot.
HEIDI: But how do you choose what is important or exciting, or to be discarded?
DUNBAR: You don't. Or, you can try to practice, to give certain ideas a better chance at consolidating in your memory, like when you study.
HEIDI: But you still might forget the thing you want to remember.
DUNBAR: Yes. It is possible.
HEIDI: But how do you make sure that you will?
DUNBAR: Is there something specific that you want to remember? Because the good news is that then you probably would find it interesting, and your pathways will take care of it on their own.
HEIDI: I want to remember Every Single Thing.
* * * *
2. Second Memory
He had been making fried chicken in the deep fryer. Placing the pieces in, one by one. He was making dinner for his molecular biology study group. They were due at 6 PM and
* * * *
DUNBAR: How do you choose what you remember?
DUNBAR: Which pathway in my brain is the one that holds that memory?
DUNBAR: Scientifically, how do I answer this question?
* * * *
Often, he asked himself these questions. All he knew was that the brain retained information if it was interesting and exciting. If it wasn't, then it would ignore it.
* * * *
DUNBAR: But how do you choose?
* * * *
No matter how much he knew about the mechanisms of memory, he could not pick and choose what he remembered. He could not forget what he wanted to forget. And Dunbar very much wanted to forget.
* * * *
DUNBAR: How do you choose to forget?
1. First Memory
It was not a cage , he thought. It was a crib.
He was supposed to feel safe there; the mattress was soft. But the young Dunbar knew one thing. He wanted to get out. He pulled himself up by his tiny hands, using the bars to steady him. He used his small muscles to bring himself to the top of the bar. He teetered on the edge and then flung himself over and fell to the floor.
Once there, he felt pain. And so he began to scream.
His mother came into the room and picked him up.
* * * *
His mother sat in her room. She was eighty-eight years old and she remembered nothing. Not even who he was.
"Who are you?â she asked.
"Dunbar,â he said.
"That's a terrible name,â she said. âYou can bring me a (sandwich) (Coke) (sweater) (magazine)."
So he did.
He would sit there and have the same exact conversation with her twenty-two times before he would feel that he had done his duty as a loving son and finally leave the hospital.
He envied his mother. She could not remember all the pain that life had caused her. Not his angst-filled teenage years when he had tormented her with worry. Not the loss of her husband of forty-eight years, without whom she never imagined she could live.
Conveniently, all was forgotten, and she was happier than she'd ever been in her life.
Her brain had saved her from the pain of her past.
He thought that she was lucky.
If he could suppress that one thing in his mind, the thing that his mind found so interesting and he found to be pure torture, then perhaps he could finally be happy, too.
* * * *
Long-term memory. When the synaptic pathways are fluid and used, memory is easily accessible.
* * * *
There were 241 students in the Intro to Neuroscience class, and one of them was a girl with long braids piled up on top of her head. He noticed her because she looked like Heidi, from the storybook. It bothered him when she came up to him after class and told him that her name was Heidi and that she had some questions, not because he did not want to answer the questions of an eager young mind, but because his bladder was full from the terrible coffee from the break room that he'd drunk all through the class, and now he had to urinate.
"I have a few questions,â Heidi said.
"Let's walk and talk,â Dunbar said. He was snapping the laptop bag closed and rushing to get out of there. Heidi followed him through the halls.
* * * *
HEIDI: How do you choose what you remember?
DUNBAR: You cannot.
HEIDI: But how do you choose what is important or exciting, or to be discarded?
DUNBAR: You don't. Or, you can try to practice, to give certain ideas a better chance at consolidating in your memory, like when you study.
HEIDI: But you still might forget the thing you want to remember.
DUNBAR: Yes. It is possible.
HEIDI: But how do you make sure that you will?
DUNBAR: Is there something specific that you want to remember? Because the good news is that then you probably would find it interesting, and your pathways will take care of it on their own.
HEIDI: I want to remember Every Single Thing.
* * * *
2. Second Memory
He had been making fried chicken in the deep fryer. Placing the pieces in, one by one. He was making dinner for his molecular biology study group. They were due at 6 PM and
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