Read Online Incorporeal by J.R. Barrett - Free Book Online Page A

that a club in your pocket, or are you happy to see me?” She glanced down for emphasis.
    Nathan had forgotten his nakedness. Surprised to find himself blushing, he backed away, seeking his clothes.
    “ There.” Sara pointed to the far side of the bed. He scooped up his garments and went into the bathroom, where he realized to his even greater surprise that he needed to take a piss. Nathan stood stock still. Closing his eyes, he searched through every tiny fact he’d learned over the centuries about heaven and hell, but he couldn’t find a single explanation for what he’d become.
    “ Sara,” he called out to her.
    “ Yes?” He heard her voice from the other side of the closed door.
    “ How does this device work?”
    “ What device?”
    Holding his clothes in front of him, Nathan opened the door. He nodded at the toilet. Sara’s eyes opened wide.
    “ You need to…” She swallowed hard. “Need to use the…? I’m sorry, are you asking me how to work the toilet?”
    Nathan blushed. “I am.”
    “ Okay, um, oh my god, this is weird.” She stepped past him. “You, um, you lift up the seat and you pee, in there, in the water bowl, and then you, you flush it like this.” She pumped the handle once and the water swirled around the ceramic bowl and disappeared down the drain, refilling immediately. “You don’t know how to use a toilet?”
    “ I’ve been aware of their existence.” Nathan cleared his throat. “But I’ve never had a need, so I paid no attention.”
    Sara began to back toward the door. “So this means, I guess, that you need to drink, because you’ll get dehydrated if you don’t, like a, like a, well, like a real person.” She blinked a few times. “I’ll give you some privacy. Call me if you need anything else. I’ll be downstairs.”
    Sara left the small room, closing the door behind her. Nathan could hear her muttering to herself. When the muttering grew faint, he dropped his clothes to the floor and took a piss for the first time in five hundred years. When the stream of urine hit the bowl, Nathan knew that no matter how many more years passed, he’d forever remember this particular moment in time. It was a singular experience.
    ***
    Okay, that was weird. A ghost who has to take a piss? Don’t run into one of those very often, or, like, ever. But then nothing about Nathan’s situation makes sense, and it never did.
    Sara trotted into the kitchen. This meant that for sure he’d need to eat and drink. There was no getting around it. She glanced at the clock. Ninety minutes, I need to be out of here in ninety minutes. Dang. I’d like to stay home with him and figure this out, but I have to go to work. I wonder if Nathan can leave the house.
    She hurried to cut up some oranges for juice and she put on water for coffee. Yes, he can drink coffee now. Should I put out some cream and sugar? A smile played about her lips. This is going to be fun. Of course, on the other hand, he could turn out to be Satan himself and then I suppose I might find myself dealing with a Rosemary’s Baby sort of scenario, but um, I don’t get any kind of Satanic vibe. I get more of an avenging angel vibe.
    Sara set two glasses of fresh squeezed juice on the table and pulled a carton of eggs out of the fridge. Maybe he’d like an omelet? She studied the contents of the refrigerator. I have mushrooms, green onions, tomatoes, and cheese, of course. I think he’ll like this and I don’t have time for waffles. But waffles would be yummy, especially after last night. Waffles would be so decadent. Mmmmm.
    “ What are you thinking about? Your eyes are closed, but your lips are smiling.”
    “ Oh!” Sara started. “Food. I was thinking about waffles.”
    “ Waffles?”
    “ They’re like a cake, but for breakfast. Kind of a crispy pancake.” She found herself feeling a little uncomfortable. Words needed to be said, but she couldn’t, for the life of her, come up with the right ones. Instead she