Read Online In Too Deep by Portia Da Costa - Free Book Online Page B

your gorgeous body.
    LIBRARYGIRL: Really? And how long is that?
    There’s another aching pause, and I realise that I’m holding my breath. I drag in a great gasp, feeling light-headed, spaced and unreal.
    NEMESIS: Now that would be telling. Let’s say plenty long enough for me to become utterly besotted with you.
    A pause.
    NEMESIS: Long enough not to be able to count the nights that I’ve masturbated myself to sleep dreaming of you beside me … naked.
    Uh oh, here we go.
    NEMESIS: Or perhaps I should say beneath me and naked?
    The minute it appears on the screen, I want it. It’s been too long since I’ve had actual sex, rather than just playing with myself or using my vibrator. Bed wasn’t especially spectacular with my husband, but it wasn’t all bad, and a girl can compensate with fantasies. But now I feel as if I’ve been zapped by lightning. It dawns on me that Nemesis is pretty much what I was fantasising about all along while I was having sex with my ex-husband: a dark, mysterious, faceless lover who may or may not be real. Suddenly it doesn’t matter all that much
who
he is. It’s the fantasy I’m connecting with, not the reality.
    I smile, ready to enjoy myself. All my fear, or most of it, has been melted by the gathering excitement, both mental and physical.
    LIBRARYGIRL: So, who are you, Nemesis? Are you afraid to tell me?
    There’s another long pause, but somehow I know he’s smiling too. Along with the horniness, he feels the same sense of challenge that I do.
    NEMESIS: Not afraid … just reluctant to explode the game so soon.
    Now it’s my turn to make him wait. Should I push or hold back? Dare all or hedge my bets? My chest feels as if I’m having a mild apoplexy or something. I press my hand to my breastbone, as if that might settle my heart.
    LIBRARYGIRL: Fair enough, but did I see you in the library today? Did you see me?
    Vague enough. And a miracle of self-restraint, considering the question ‘Are you Daniel Brewster?’ is careening around in my brain.
    NEMESIS: You saw me. I saw you. You looked magnificent. Elegant. An icon of groomed, professional sexiness. I wanted to fall to the floor, kneel at your feet, and then slide your skirt up and rub my face against your stocking tops, while I breathed in your perfume and the scent of your cunt.
    If he goes on like this, I’ll be able to breathe it in myself. In fact, I already can. I’m welling and flowing again, all damp and silky. I wish he was here, whoever he is. I see that image of a masked man again. Mysterious and threatening. Deceiving.
    That image of him kneeling before me is just a mind trick. Submissive is the last thing on earth he is.
    LIBRARYGIRL: You want to worship me?
    As the cursor blinks, I imagine a dark figure rising to his feet and then looming over me. In my mind he’s wearing black, and that mask – it’s leather and covers a lot of his face, reminding me of an executioner’s hood and just as menacing.
    NEMESIS: Sometimes …
    Oh, what a wealth of promise in that single word. My mind is populated with images from the ‘forbidden’ photography books, and imagined scenes from the erotica I’ve read. Nemesis surely lives right up to his forbidding title, even though in mythology the name belonged to an avenging female goddess. He seems combative, dominant, out for some kind of retribution, although for what I really don’t know. Maybe for all that fantasising. I suppose I was cheating on my hubby by not thinking about him while we were in bed.
    LIBRARYGIRL: And what do you want to do with me at the other times?
    NEMESIS: I want you to obey me … to allow me to educate you and expand the horizons of your experience and sexuality.
    Bingo!
    LIBRARYGIRL: Why would I want to do that? What if I like my horizons where they are now? What if I know more than you think I know?
    NEMESIS: I think we’ll both find there’s much, much more to learn when we get going. You’re enjoying yourself now, aren’t