Read Online In the Courts of the Sun by Brian D’Amato - Free Book Online Page B
Authors: Brian D’Amato
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Dolts.
Maybe I should mention that I’d had a pretty big attitude problem about that date since about the seventh grade. People always asked me about it and I had to keep explaining that saying it’s a doomsday thing was a huge, huge overinterpretation. The twenty-first was an important day, no question, but not necessarily the end of anything, let alone everything. It’s only a big deal because there are a lot of deeply spiritual cretins out there, and they’re disappointed by the lack of disasters at the turn of the Christian millennium and the fact that 9/11 took their gurus completely by surprise. So they’re looking for another convenient deadline. Any time the world’s going to end, church pledges go up. Because, you know, why save? It’s an old scam ever young.
If you happen to be even one-eighth Native American, you already know how these airheads keep coming up to you and acting like you’ve got some kind of spiritual aura. If there’s an Indian character in a movie, chances are twenty to one that he’s got ESP at least, and probably telekinesis, hands of healing, and, somewhere, a third eye. And the 2012 thing is the worst. Everybody’s got a different interpretation, and the only common denominator between them is that they’re all wrong. The Maya tracked an asteroid that’s going to crash into the earth on that date. The Maya left their cities and flew to Venus and that’s the ETA of their return flight. The Maya knew that on that date there’d be a major earthquake, a volcanic eruption, a plague, a flash ice age, a drop in the sea level, or all five. They knew that on that date the earth’s poles would reverse. On that date our yellow sun’s going to go out and a blue sun will take its place. Quetzalcoatl is going to reemerge out of the transdimensional vortex in a jade-green flying saucer. The all-flowering oneness of the universal sea-sky-earth-goddess-truth is going to autopropagate through the cosmic oom. Time will get back in its bottle. Aurochs and mastodons will stampede down I-95. The Lost Continent of Mu will rise up out of the Galápagos Fracture Zone. The true Madhi, Joseph Smith Jr., will appear on the Golan Heights wearing a U2 T-shirt. Shirley MacLaine will shed her human form and reveal herself as Minona/Minerva/Mama Cocha/Yoko/Mori/Mariammar /Mbabamuwana/Minihaha. Scarlett Johansson will give birth to a snow-white bison. The NASDAQ will hit 3,000. Pigs will fly, beggars will ride, boys will be boys . . .
Although, on the other hand, you had to admit that the exactness of the date, 12/21/12, does have a sinister specificity about it that gives you a queasy feeling. I mean, it’s not like Nostradamus, where it’s so vague you can make up anything and it seems to fit. Of course, we, I mean, we Maya, had always been pretty sure of ourselves.
This is the long-awaited last date of the Long Count, the Mayans’ astonishingly accurate ritual calendar, which can be precisely correlated to days in the Christian one. A year from now, on this date, the current cycle of Mayan time comes to an end.
Weiner is dismissive of doomsday scenarios. “We weren’t planning to release this until a year or so from now, after the twenty-first,” he says. “People can get ridiculous, and besides, we wanted to finish the research.” However, he says, “With all the speculation about the comet, we thought we’d release some of the interesting Ixchel-related findings.”
Could the Mayans have timed their calendar to the appearances of Comet Ixchel? Its discoverers at Swinburne University, in New South Wales, who named their find after a Mayan goddess, clearly think so. Soon to be visible to the naked eye, Ixchel has a 5,125-year periodicity—or orbit—around the sun, meaning it was last seen in 3011 BC—Year One of the Mayan long-count calendar. If any ancient people could have honed in on its return, that people were the Mayans. Determined doomsayers will need to find some other threat: The
Maybe I should mention that I’d had a pretty big attitude problem about that date since about the seventh grade. People always asked me about it and I had to keep explaining that saying it’s a doomsday thing was a huge, huge overinterpretation. The twenty-first was an important day, no question, but not necessarily the end of anything, let alone everything. It’s only a big deal because there are a lot of deeply spiritual cretins out there, and they’re disappointed by the lack of disasters at the turn of the Christian millennium and the fact that 9/11 took their gurus completely by surprise. So they’re looking for another convenient deadline. Any time the world’s going to end, church pledges go up. Because, you know, why save? It’s an old scam ever young.
If you happen to be even one-eighth Native American, you already know how these airheads keep coming up to you and acting like you’ve got some kind of spiritual aura. If there’s an Indian character in a movie, chances are twenty to one that he’s got ESP at least, and probably telekinesis, hands of healing, and, somewhere, a third eye. And the 2012 thing is the worst. Everybody’s got a different interpretation, and the only common denominator between them is that they’re all wrong. The Maya tracked an asteroid that’s going to crash into the earth on that date. The Maya left their cities and flew to Venus and that’s the ETA of their return flight. The Maya knew that on that date there’d be a major earthquake, a volcanic eruption, a plague, a flash ice age, a drop in the sea level, or all five. They knew that on that date the earth’s poles would reverse. On that date our yellow sun’s going to go out and a blue sun will take its place. Quetzalcoatl is going to reemerge out of the transdimensional vortex in a jade-green flying saucer. The all-flowering oneness of the universal sea-sky-earth-goddess-truth is going to autopropagate through the cosmic oom. Time will get back in its bottle. Aurochs and mastodons will stampede down I-95. The Lost Continent of Mu will rise up out of the Galápagos Fracture Zone. The true Madhi, Joseph Smith Jr., will appear on the Golan Heights wearing a U2 T-shirt. Shirley MacLaine will shed her human form and reveal herself as Minona/Minerva/Mama Cocha/Yoko/Mori/Mariammar /Mbabamuwana/Minihaha. Scarlett Johansson will give birth to a snow-white bison. The NASDAQ will hit 3,000. Pigs will fly, beggars will ride, boys will be boys . . .
Although, on the other hand, you had to admit that the exactness of the date, 12/21/12, does have a sinister specificity about it that gives you a queasy feeling. I mean, it’s not like Nostradamus, where it’s so vague you can make up anything and it seems to fit. Of course, we, I mean, we Maya, had always been pretty sure of ourselves.
This is the long-awaited last date of the Long Count, the Mayans’ astonishingly accurate ritual calendar, which can be precisely correlated to days in the Christian one. A year from now, on this date, the current cycle of Mayan time comes to an end.
Weiner is dismissive of doomsday scenarios. “We weren’t planning to release this until a year or so from now, after the twenty-first,” he says. “People can get ridiculous, and besides, we wanted to finish the research.” However, he says, “With all the speculation about the comet, we thought we’d release some of the interesting Ixchel-related findings.”
Could the Mayans have timed their calendar to the appearances of Comet Ixchel? Its discoverers at Swinburne University, in New South Wales, who named their find after a Mayan goddess, clearly think so. Soon to be visible to the naked eye, Ixchel has a 5,125-year periodicity—or orbit—around the sun, meaning it was last seen in 3011 BC—Year One of the Mayan long-count calendar. If any ancient people could have honed in on its return, that people were the Mayans. Determined doomsayers will need to find some other threat: The
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