Read Online In Search of Eden by Linda Nichols - Free Book Online Page A

together, and having tea out of china cups. Instead, she spent half her time trying to find her daughter, or having found her, to find out what she was up to. She could picture Eden’s dark hair, freckles, and squinty-eyed stare, that pretty little rosebud mouth a straight line, chin jutting forward, jaw clamped as tight as a pit bull’s.
    A little princess she was not.
    In fact, as Sarah frequently bemoaned to David, who persistedin being amused rather than concerned at his daughter’s antics, they were well on their way to having a hellion on their hands. She sighed again in aggravation. Eden needed a firm hand. And both of hers were completely exhausted. Tiring did not begin to describe the state motherhood had become for her. She felt a familiar guilt. It was probably all her fault. She shook her head resolutely and stirred the vegetables with vigor. The solution wasn’t to pile onto the sofa in frustration. It was to try harder. She picked up the notepad on the table and made herself a note— Sign up Eden for soccer lessons tomorrow —telling herself guiltily that she was not simply shifting her daughter to someone else for a few hours. Eden would learn a new skill and burn off some energy. And what would she do while Eden ran and played?
    Sleep. She had eyed the sofa hungrily.
    Then the telephone rang. Wearily, she had moved to answer it, and as she heard the unfamiliar voice and the heart-stopping words, she sensed a sharp knife running down through all their lives. No, a guillotine blade, forever severing what had been from what was to come.
    They had all stepped into the After when that telephone had rung, and they’d left Before forever behind.
    She felt guilt now as she remembered Eden’s pleading to let her come with her to Minneapolis. She had said no and wondered again whether it had been from a genuine desire to spare her daughter or a knowledge that she couldn’t cope with all this and Eden, too. But Eden just wanted to be with her father. Sarah knew Eden loved him best, and that was all right. That was just fine, because she wanted Eden to have what she needed, and who wouldn’t need David? Who wouldn’t love David best? He was a rock to both of them.
    She squeezed her eyes shut, as if she might will them all back in time. She tried again to pray, but all that would come was Help him, Jesus. Help him, Jesus. Help him, Jesus. A hand on her shoulder startled her back to here and now.
    â€œMrs. Williams?” It was the volunteer from the waiting room.
    She nodded.
    â€œThere’s a family member to see you out in the foyer.”
    Ruth. She rose quickly and fairly ran through the wide halls lined with carts and machines. The double doors to the waiting room took forever to open after she tapped on the square button. Then there was her mother-in-law, standing in the middle of the hallway, wearing her pretty red coat and clutching the handle of her purse with both hands. Her face was red and swollen with grief and distress. She looked older and tired.
    Sarah flung herself at Ruth. The arms opened and the two of them clung together and wept.
    â€œWhere is he?” Ruth finally asked when most of their tears had been spent.
    â€œThis way,” Sarah said and punched open the door. “He doesn’t look like himself,” she started to explain, but she realized how futile the words were. Nothing spoken could prepare her. Help her, Jesus. Help her, Jesus. Help.
    The crowd had thinned in David’s room. She could see just two nurses in there now, one adjusting intravenous lines, the other charting. Sarah introduced Ruth to the charge nurse, and her mother-in-law went inside. Sarah waited in the hallway. Only one allowed in at a time. She watched for a moment as Ruth took David’s hand and smoothed his hair, and then it was too hard to watch any longer. She sat back down in her chair, lowered her head again, and closed her eyes. Jesus, Jesus, Jesus