Read Online In Plain Sight by Amy Sparling - Free Book Online Page B
Authors: Amy Sparling
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I can let it out in a sigh. “I actually care about what kind of girl I date. Greg dated anyone with nice boobs.”
“True,” Josh says. “I used to be like you, man. I’ve broken out of that, though.”
This is a topic we haven’t talked about, but I kind of wish we would. Of course, guys don’t often get all mushy and emotional with each other. We’re supposed to talk about “hot chicks” and only that. But the truth is, I’ve always been envious of my best friend.
Josh has had three serious girlfriends in his life, all of them lasting over a year. For teenagers, that’s kind of a big deal. He’s always seemed like the luckiest guy out of all of us—a pretty girl who cares about him on his arm at all of our parties. But last year, his last girlfriend, Elise, broke up with him for a guy in college at Texas A & M. It broke his heart, and he’s transformed himself into a player ever since. He’s dated probably a dozen girls since school started in August, and he acts like it makes him happy, but I’m not so sure it does.
“So, are you done having real relationships?” I ask, pushing dangerously close to the edge of what’s acceptable to ask your guy best friend.
“Not done, done. Just . . . taking a break, I guess.” Josh scrolls through girls on his dating app, making little facial expressions of approval or disapproval for each one. It’s kind of barbaric, really, making a snap judgement of if a human being is worthy of dating based on their looks alone.
And it’s not even their looks really, but just one single photo. I never look the same in every photo. Some make me look like a total troll, and others make me kind of, well, proud of my abs, that’s for sure.
My phone buzzes like crazy, and I reach down and grab it. “Six new likes,” I say, going to the app.
“Nice,” Josh says, nodding in approval. He still hasn’t taken his eyes off his phone.
I look through the photos of the girls who have all liked me. Well, some of them are girls. Two of my likes are women in their fifties. They’re both married and looking for something “with no strings attached”. Uh, no thank you.
“Can I put an age limit on this thing?” I ask, feeling like a total douche for declining these women’s offers. It’s just the tap of a red x on the screen, but I still feel bad. I wonder if the app will tell them I wasn’t interested?
“Yeah, you can limit your options, but why would you?” Josh says.
“I’m not interested in hooking up with a fifty-four-year-old who has a husband,” I say.
He laughs. “True that. Who else likes you?”
“A girl named Dia. She has face tattoos and her profile says she’s currently three months pregnant.”
“Uhhhh, pass,” Josh says. He’s hovering over my shoulder now. “Who’s next?”
The next girl is pretty, with long brown hair and a full figure. She seems normal from her profile, but she lives a hundred and thirty miles away. So much for searching within my zip code.
The last like on my list?
“Damn!” Josh says, slapping me on the back. “You snagged an M again. Nice.”
It’s Maria.
“No way in hell,” I say, trying really hard not to throw my phone into the pool and be done with it. I press the x next to her ridiculously inappropriate profile photo and drop my phone on my lap.
“She’s hot and she’s totally into you,” Josh says. “Could be fun for a while.”
“Been there, done that, remember? It’s not happening again.”
“You’re no fun,” Josh says, shaking his head.
“Honestly man, I just want a real girlfriend. Like, the real thing.” I feel stupid saying it out loud, but it’s the truth.
“I know,” Josh says quietly. “I do, too. But my mom says that kind of shit doesn’t happen when we’re young. You have to be like twenty-five before you can even attempt to settle down with the right girl. Apparently we’re not mature enough, and all that shit.”
“Bullshit.” I shake my head, something like
“True,” Josh says. “I used to be like you, man. I’ve broken out of that, though.”
This is a topic we haven’t talked about, but I kind of wish we would. Of course, guys don’t often get all mushy and emotional with each other. We’re supposed to talk about “hot chicks” and only that. But the truth is, I’ve always been envious of my best friend.
Josh has had three serious girlfriends in his life, all of them lasting over a year. For teenagers, that’s kind of a big deal. He’s always seemed like the luckiest guy out of all of us—a pretty girl who cares about him on his arm at all of our parties. But last year, his last girlfriend, Elise, broke up with him for a guy in college at Texas A & M. It broke his heart, and he’s transformed himself into a player ever since. He’s dated probably a dozen girls since school started in August, and he acts like it makes him happy, but I’m not so sure it does.
“So, are you done having real relationships?” I ask, pushing dangerously close to the edge of what’s acceptable to ask your guy best friend.
“Not done, done. Just . . . taking a break, I guess.” Josh scrolls through girls on his dating app, making little facial expressions of approval or disapproval for each one. It’s kind of barbaric, really, making a snap judgement of if a human being is worthy of dating based on their looks alone.
And it’s not even their looks really, but just one single photo. I never look the same in every photo. Some make me look like a total troll, and others make me kind of, well, proud of my abs, that’s for sure.
My phone buzzes like crazy, and I reach down and grab it. “Six new likes,” I say, going to the app.
“Nice,” Josh says, nodding in approval. He still hasn’t taken his eyes off his phone.
I look through the photos of the girls who have all liked me. Well, some of them are girls. Two of my likes are women in their fifties. They’re both married and looking for something “with no strings attached”. Uh, no thank you.
“Can I put an age limit on this thing?” I ask, feeling like a total douche for declining these women’s offers. It’s just the tap of a red x on the screen, but I still feel bad. I wonder if the app will tell them I wasn’t interested?
“Yeah, you can limit your options, but why would you?” Josh says.
“I’m not interested in hooking up with a fifty-four-year-old who has a husband,” I say.
He laughs. “True that. Who else likes you?”
“A girl named Dia. She has face tattoos and her profile says she’s currently three months pregnant.”
“Uhhhh, pass,” Josh says. He’s hovering over my shoulder now. “Who’s next?”
The next girl is pretty, with long brown hair and a full figure. She seems normal from her profile, but she lives a hundred and thirty miles away. So much for searching within my zip code.
The last like on my list?
“Damn!” Josh says, slapping me on the back. “You snagged an M again. Nice.”
It’s Maria.
“No way in hell,” I say, trying really hard not to throw my phone into the pool and be done with it. I press the x next to her ridiculously inappropriate profile photo and drop my phone on my lap.
“She’s hot and she’s totally into you,” Josh says. “Could be fun for a while.”
“Been there, done that, remember? It’s not happening again.”
“You’re no fun,” Josh says, shaking his head.
“Honestly man, I just want a real girlfriend. Like, the real thing.” I feel stupid saying it out loud, but it’s the truth.
“I know,” Josh says quietly. “I do, too. But my mom says that kind of shit doesn’t happen when we’re young. You have to be like twenty-five before you can even attempt to settle down with the right girl. Apparently we’re not mature enough, and all that shit.”
“Bullshit.” I shake my head, something like
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