reminded
myself that I was free and single, but doubt still writhed in my stomach. That’s the trouble with fantasies coming true: reality is always slightly frightening. Anticipation intensifies and
enriches emotions, but reality seems to smooth them out into a kind of blank bewilderment. Then I saw the desire in Nigel’s eyes and Anthony was forgotten.
Well, for a minute, anyway. As he kissed me, I felt taken aback by his style. Anthony and I had always shared soft butterfly kisses which deepened into something more sensual. Nigel was strong
and forceful, grabbing the back of my neck and pulling me in close. I closed my eyes and something clicked and I sank into the mood. I ran my hands through his hair and it was just as luscious as
I’d imagined.
Beep-ding-a-dong-a-ding,
his mobile sang.
He broke off and said, ‘Hello?’
I watched, breathless and indignant. Couldn’t he switch the damn thing off?
‘OK . . . yeah . . . sure . . . right . . . I’m sure she’s fine . . . lovely . . . come on, be good . . . OK.’ He put it down and rolled his eyes and cupped my face.
‘Who was it?’ I asked suspiciously.
‘Nobody.’
He cupped my face in his hands and carried on kissing me.
Five minutes later, his mobile rang again.
‘Oh, Jamie – for God’s sake! OK . . . yes, yes . . .’ I was taken aback by the emotion in his voice. ‘Sure, I’ll come home, I’ll come home right now.
OK, sure, Daddy’s coming . . . yep, OK.’ He pressed the red button. ‘Sorry, I have to go.’
‘Back to your wife and kids?’ I said furiously.
‘No – there is no wife. Just a kid, from my last girlfriend. He’s four. It’s a bit complicated. I got him a babysitter tonight, but he hates them . . .’ He looked
tired – the way he had done the morning I had asked him out – and suddenly a lot of things fell into place. He let out a sound that was somewhere between a sigh and a sob of frustration
and buried his face in his palms. My heart went out to him.
‘It’s OK,’ I said. ‘We can meet another night. Don’t worry, it’s cool . . . I understand . . . it’s fine . . .’
‘It’s not fine. It’s crap. I bet you’ll never buy a
Daily Telegraph
off me again. I bet you’ll upgrade to
The Times
from that fat geezer across the
road,’ he said, shooting me a sidelong glance, and we both laughed.
Out in the hall, he tried to kiss me goodbye, but it felt strange, so I turned it into a peck on the cheek. He looked hurt, but I said another warm goodbye and ‘I’ll see you
again,’ even though I knew that I wouldn’t. Somehow it just didn’t seem like it was meant to be.
After Nigel had gone, I sat staring at the dinner table, watching the candle melt into a disfigured stump, dripping fat wax tears on to the lacy cloth. I was so upset, I barely
even noticed Lyra jumping on to the table, whiskers bristling excitedly. I felt utterly flat with disappointment. I’d been expecting a night of wild passion, a perfect rebound fling, but
reality had given me a sharp slap around the face, slamming me back down to earth. Why couldn’t life be like the movies for once? I thought indignantly. Why couldn’t it end in
fulfilment and a sensual, low-lit bedroom scene and then happy ever after? Why did it always have to be full of cross-purposes and anticlimaxes and plot threads left dangling, never to be tied
up?
I got up, shoving away my chair, and went to the window, gazing out at the London skyline, a necklace of amber lights hanging in the indigo sky. An aeroplane sparkled a gold trail through the
dark. I felt envy burn in my heart as I imagined people with lives a hundred times more glamorous and exciting than mine travelling to exotic places I might never see before I died. Or maybe I was
just being overly romantic again; maybe they were on a package holiday to the Costa del Sol and would end up in a cheap hotel, getting drunk and sunburnt, before returning to the same old jobs,
marriages and
Paige Cuccaro
Burt Neuborne
Highland Spirits
Charles Todd
Melinda Leigh
Brenda Hiatt
Eliza DeGaulle
Jamie Lake
Susan Howatch
Charlaine Harris