Read Online In a Heartbeat by Sandrone Dazieri - Free Book Online Page A
Authors: Sandrone Dazieri
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hospital or the psychiatric ward of a normal hospital.’
‘I don’t remember.’
‘What were the symptoms?’
‘I was literally shitting myself.’
A double gasp from Monica.
‘And from what I understand I didn’t remember anything then either.’
‘Interesting.’
‘Yeah, interesting for you.’
‘Do you know what triggered the event?’
‘A blow to the head.’
‘Strange. A head trauma can cause disorientation, but for the symptoms that you’re describing you would have suffered cerebral damage. The CAT scan, however, shows no sign.’
‘I was also pretty wasted.’
‘Hmm. Do you think that I could get my hands on the medical chart? Maybe the diagnosis could help.’
‘I can check at home, but I can’t guarantee anything.’
‘You can ask your father, maybe he knows?’
Yeah, him.
‘So he’s still alive?’
‘You didn’t tell me that he died. Monica?’
‘Yes, he’s still alive.’
The doctor hesitated, fiddling with his pen. ‘One more question: have you been under any stress recently?’
‘Yes.’
‘Problems big enough to seem unsolvable that may have frightened you?’
Like a murder perhaps?
‘Yes.’
‘From what you’ve told me now and about your past, I’m willing to exclude a physical cause to your condition.’
‘Please translate.’
‘It’s not my field, but I believe that you forgot because you wanted to forget. Electric shock is a coincidence, even assuming that you actually received a shock.’
‘I still have the mark.’
I showed him the palm of my hand.
‘Put some cream on it.’
‘Thanks.’
‘Take it up with Freud. It’s an escape mechanism. You had problems, and you went back to when you didn’t have these problems. It was an easier period for you.’
‘It wasn’t that simple, believe me.’
‘Let’s say that it was a happier time. My advice is that you get some rest. Stay home and relax.’
‘It’s not the right time.’
‘The memories will come back a little bit at a time. I can write you a prescription just to help you stay calm, but it would be better for you to do without it.’
‘How long do you think it will take?’ asked Monica.
Giulio shrugged. ‘I don’t know, but the last thing that Santo needs right now is to be put under stress.’
I’m already under stress buddy, I thought, but I didn’t tell him. He wrote me a prescription and handed it to me. Lexotan.
‘One more thing. It probably has nothing to do with this, but were you ever in the army?’
‘I was supposed to go, but I failed my probation. Anxiety depressive syndrome.’
Monica gasped yet again.
‘But I was faking, and they fell for it. I was at the barracks for two days and then they discharged me.’
‘So, no Gulf War?’
‘No way! Why?’
‘I’ll show you.’ He took an X-ray from the medical chart and put it on the light display.
‘This is your chest.’ You could see the bones and internal organs clearly; it didn’t look like the kind of X-rays that I remembered. Giulio pointed to a small dark dot near the top of my left shoulder.
‘Look here; it’s calcified, so it’s an old fracture that’s at least ten years old.’
‘Did I break something?’
‘I noticed a scar there while I was examining you. You told me that you broke your shoulder skiing but inside the calcification there’s a foreign metal object. It could be anything, a piece of nail, it’s hard to tell … but, if I didn’t know you, I would say that it’s a bullet fragment.’
7
When Monica and I got outside, we were a sorry sight. We both had long, sad faces. She didn’t say anything until I got to my car. It was where I’d left it, in Garage 6. It wasn’t at all what I’d hoped for when I’d first seen it. It was a kind of black truck that looked like a hearse with four exhausts. A Cayenne. Getting around the crowded streets of Milan with that beast was a pain. It was also an automatic, which really took the fun out of driving; I kept looking for
‘I don’t remember.’
‘What were the symptoms?’
‘I was literally shitting myself.’
A double gasp from Monica.
‘And from what I understand I didn’t remember anything then either.’
‘Interesting.’
‘Yeah, interesting for you.’
‘Do you know what triggered the event?’
‘A blow to the head.’
‘Strange. A head trauma can cause disorientation, but for the symptoms that you’re describing you would have suffered cerebral damage. The CAT scan, however, shows no sign.’
‘I was also pretty wasted.’
‘Hmm. Do you think that I could get my hands on the medical chart? Maybe the diagnosis could help.’
‘I can check at home, but I can’t guarantee anything.’
‘You can ask your father, maybe he knows?’
Yeah, him.
‘So he’s still alive?’
‘You didn’t tell me that he died. Monica?’
‘Yes, he’s still alive.’
The doctor hesitated, fiddling with his pen. ‘One more question: have you been under any stress recently?’
‘Yes.’
‘Problems big enough to seem unsolvable that may have frightened you?’
Like a murder perhaps?
‘Yes.’
‘From what you’ve told me now and about your past, I’m willing to exclude a physical cause to your condition.’
‘Please translate.’
‘It’s not my field, but I believe that you forgot because you wanted to forget. Electric shock is a coincidence, even assuming that you actually received a shock.’
‘I still have the mark.’
I showed him the palm of my hand.
‘Put some cream on it.’
‘Thanks.’
‘Take it up with Freud. It’s an escape mechanism. You had problems, and you went back to when you didn’t have these problems. It was an easier period for you.’
‘It wasn’t that simple, believe me.’
‘Let’s say that it was a happier time. My advice is that you get some rest. Stay home and relax.’
‘It’s not the right time.’
‘The memories will come back a little bit at a time. I can write you a prescription just to help you stay calm, but it would be better for you to do without it.’
‘How long do you think it will take?’ asked Monica.
Giulio shrugged. ‘I don’t know, but the last thing that Santo needs right now is to be put under stress.’
I’m already under stress buddy, I thought, but I didn’t tell him. He wrote me a prescription and handed it to me. Lexotan.
‘One more thing. It probably has nothing to do with this, but were you ever in the army?’
‘I was supposed to go, but I failed my probation. Anxiety depressive syndrome.’
Monica gasped yet again.
‘But I was faking, and they fell for it. I was at the barracks for two days and then they discharged me.’
‘So, no Gulf War?’
‘No way! Why?’
‘I’ll show you.’ He took an X-ray from the medical chart and put it on the light display.
‘This is your chest.’ You could see the bones and internal organs clearly; it didn’t look like the kind of X-rays that I remembered. Giulio pointed to a small dark dot near the top of my left shoulder.
‘Look here; it’s calcified, so it’s an old fracture that’s at least ten years old.’
‘Did I break something?’
‘I noticed a scar there while I was examining you. You told me that you broke your shoulder skiing but inside the calcification there’s a foreign metal object. It could be anything, a piece of nail, it’s hard to tell … but, if I didn’t know you, I would say that it’s a bullet fragment.’
7
When Monica and I got outside, we were a sorry sight. We both had long, sad faces. She didn’t say anything until I got to my car. It was where I’d left it, in Garage 6. It wasn’t at all what I’d hoped for when I’d first seen it. It was a kind of black truck that looked like a hearse with four exhausts. A Cayenne. Getting around the crowded streets of Milan with that beast was a pain. It was also an automatic, which really took the fun out of driving; I kept looking for
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