Read Online Immaculate by Katelyn Detweiler - Free Book Online Page B

outside of our woods.
    â€œI should go soon,” Hannah said, squatting down next to me after hanging up with her mom. “I feel terrible leaving you, but my parents made these dinner reservations with my sister and our grandparents ages ago. It’s probably the last time Lauren will be out with all of us before she has the baby.” She flinched at
baby
, a look of guilt flashing across her face. “Is that okay? I’ll stay if you need me to.”
    â€œNo, you go.” I patted her hand. “Really. You’ve already helped me so much today. You’ve been so amazing. Beyond amazing. I’ll be fine by myself.”
    â€œAre you . . . are you going to tell your mom now?”
    â€œNo.” I shook my head, adamant. “Not tonight at least. I need a little more time by myself to let it all sink in, consider all the possibilities.”
    â€œThe possibilities,” she said, nodding. “So do you think . . . Does that mean that you might get an abortion? It might be the easiest way, Meen, as hard as it might be at first.”
    â€œNo,” I said, without even pausing to consider. The word sounded surprisingly sure and confident coming out of my mouth. But why? Why was that my answer? Hannah was right: it would be easiest. No one else besides her and Izzy would ever have to know about any of this. Not my parents. Not Nate.
    But
I
would know. I would always know.
    And I didn’t think I could live with myself if I made the decision to make it all go away. I didn’t feel as if it was even my choice to make.
    â€œYou don’t have to decide right this second, Meen. But think about it, at least. Think about what it would mean for college, and for all your big plans, the books you want to write, the places you want to visit. Where would you get the money? And the kids at school . . . What will you tell them if you keep it? Or even if you give the baby up for adoption, everyone will be asking you for explanations once it’s obvious you’re pregnant.”
    It was too much, too many questions all at once, and I wanted to shove my fingers in my ears and scream as loud as I could to drown it all out. But I saw the tears on her cheeks, and I knew that it was only because she loved me. She cared about me too much to watch me throw everything away.
    I took a deep breath and squeezed her hand. “I don’t know. I don’t think I can decide anything until I see a doctor and get some actual tests done. I guess I’ll just go from there.”
    She nodded, satisfied for the time being. “Promise me you’ll go soon, this week. I’ll go, too, of course. I don’t want you to be alone. And like you said, it really could be something completely different that caused those results. We don’t know anything for sure, not yet.”
    â€œOf course,” I said, though I hated leading her on.
    â€œAnd promise that you’ll call me absolutely whenever you need to talk. I don’t care if I’m in the middle of dinner. I don’t care if I’m sound asleep. Just call me.”
    â€œYes, yes, I will. Promise. Now let’s go back to the house. I don’t want you to be late because of me.”
    While she folded the blanket, I walked to the creek bank and picked up the tests, stuffed them back into the boxes, and buried them at the bottom of my purse. I glanced up at the tree house one last time—we both did—and then we left, arm in arm, walking back through the trees.
    â€¢Â â€¢Â â€¢
    Hannah was helpful in making excuses to my mom, building up the vicious stomach bug that had struck me down out of nowhere in the middle of our otherwise reportedly perfect picnic. I sat, pale and quiet, at the kitchen table. At least I didn’t have to make any effort to act the part of the poor, sick girl.
    â€œI’m so sorry that your picnic was ruined, girls,” my mom said, resting the