Read Online If You Still Want Me by CE Kilgore - Free Book Online Page B
Authors: CE Kilgore
Ads: Link
probation release, signed and sealed by
Judge Bruce Montgomery, or Bull as he's known at the club.
Inside this envelope is my freedom. "Boss, I...
I can't thank you enough."
"Bruce was thinking about doing it for
Christmas," he explains, "but then everything with Forester
exploded on our heads. He knows you've earned it. We all know
it."
"But you should stay," Emma's tiny, quiet voice
speaks. "I don't want to miss you."
"I know, baby girl," my heart
aches at her words. "I don't want to go, but staying hurts people. It's no good for Saul or
Victoria. Understand?"
"It's no good for you , you mean." This time, her words make
my heart stop. "Leave, if you must, but be honest with yourself
about your reason for doing so."
After that smack-down of truth, she kisses
Brandon's cheek then kisses my forehead and leaves the room. Emma
always sees right through people. She also likes to bring attention
to the obvious things that no one else seems to want to see or
admit. I sometimes wonder how different the world might be if
everyone saw it the way she does.
"She's right, you know."
I look up at Brandon and can't deny it either.
"I know." And I do. Don't make it any easier to swallow.
"Stay tonight, at least?" Brandon urges. "It's
late and it's New Year's. Hotels will be booked solid, and I don't
think Annabelle will appreciate you dropping in on her and
Cody."
Actually, my sister would probably throw her
shoes at me, since she's hoping Cody might be popping the big
question tonight after a year of dating. Damn. I've got my freedom,
but I got nowhere to go with it.
"Alright. I left Saul in the barn. Can you go
check on him, please?"
"He was my next stop," Brandon smirks then
leaves me alone to really think on Emma's words.
Damn. Truth hurts. It can also give you a nasty
headache. Exhausted beyond argument, I let the truth follow me into
a restless sleep.
Seven a.m. comes early thanks to the alarm on my
phone, still wedged in the back pocket of the jeans I fell into bed
with. I'd meant to turn it off, on account of it being New Year's
Day and all, but I suppose horses don't really keep calendars or
care that it's a holiday. Although I let out a tired groan as I
stand up, I'm looking forward to the fresh morning air, hoping
it'll help clear my head a bit.
I'm not sure exactly what time I passed out last
night, but I know it was well before they finished lighting up
Reunion Tower. All the members should be sleeping well into
morning, which will give me time to get the horses settled before
helping Brandon with breakfast. I may even take them to walk the
pasture, if the frost on the ground aint too bad.
First – I need a damn shower.
I reek of yellow. Fuck, I was such a coward last
night – leaving Saul in that barn with that beer so I could go cry
and throw a hissy-fit. My gaze falls to the suitcase that had found
its way to the floor at the foot of the bed next to my boots. I was
gonna up and run without even giving the poor guy a proper chance
to talk. Some best friend I turned out to be.
The pain is a bit less this morning, but it's
still there – a prickling burn in my heart. I feel like I lost my
best friend and my one hope for love at the same time, when I know
damn well I didn't have to. Emma was right. She called my bluff
while I was avoiding my reflection in the mirror.
I wasn't running to save Saul and Victoria
trouble. I was gonna run so I could wallow in self-pity, and
because I'm not brave enough to try and get over the idea that Saul
will never be my lover. I need to get over it, though. I need to
stop making excuses, stop making stupid plans to move to El Paso,
and I need to be the friend Saul deserves.
I just hope it's not too late to fix what I done
fucked over royally.
It's not that I wholly regret what happened last
night and what I said. Brandon was right – there's been too many
damn secrets around here lately. Saul deserved to know the truth
about how I feel. Sleeping with him wouldn't have
Judge Bruce Montgomery, or Bull as he's known at the club.
Inside this envelope is my freedom. "Boss, I...
I can't thank you enough."
"Bruce was thinking about doing it for
Christmas," he explains, "but then everything with Forester
exploded on our heads. He knows you've earned it. We all know
it."
"But you should stay," Emma's tiny, quiet voice
speaks. "I don't want to miss you."
"I know, baby girl," my heart
aches at her words. "I don't want to go, but staying hurts people. It's no good for Saul or
Victoria. Understand?"
"It's no good for you , you mean." This time, her words make
my heart stop. "Leave, if you must, but be honest with yourself
about your reason for doing so."
After that smack-down of truth, she kisses
Brandon's cheek then kisses my forehead and leaves the room. Emma
always sees right through people. She also likes to bring attention
to the obvious things that no one else seems to want to see or
admit. I sometimes wonder how different the world might be if
everyone saw it the way she does.
"She's right, you know."
I look up at Brandon and can't deny it either.
"I know." And I do. Don't make it any easier to swallow.
"Stay tonight, at least?" Brandon urges. "It's
late and it's New Year's. Hotels will be booked solid, and I don't
think Annabelle will appreciate you dropping in on her and
Cody."
Actually, my sister would probably throw her
shoes at me, since she's hoping Cody might be popping the big
question tonight after a year of dating. Damn. I've got my freedom,
but I got nowhere to go with it.
"Alright. I left Saul in the barn. Can you go
check on him, please?"
"He was my next stop," Brandon smirks then
leaves me alone to really think on Emma's words.
Damn. Truth hurts. It can also give you a nasty
headache. Exhausted beyond argument, I let the truth follow me into
a restless sleep.
Seven a.m. comes early thanks to the alarm on my
phone, still wedged in the back pocket of the jeans I fell into bed
with. I'd meant to turn it off, on account of it being New Year's
Day and all, but I suppose horses don't really keep calendars or
care that it's a holiday. Although I let out a tired groan as I
stand up, I'm looking forward to the fresh morning air, hoping
it'll help clear my head a bit.
I'm not sure exactly what time I passed out last
night, but I know it was well before they finished lighting up
Reunion Tower. All the members should be sleeping well into
morning, which will give me time to get the horses settled before
helping Brandon with breakfast. I may even take them to walk the
pasture, if the frost on the ground aint too bad.
First – I need a damn shower.
I reek of yellow. Fuck, I was such a coward last
night – leaving Saul in that barn with that beer so I could go cry
and throw a hissy-fit. My gaze falls to the suitcase that had found
its way to the floor at the foot of the bed next to my boots. I was
gonna up and run without even giving the poor guy a proper chance
to talk. Some best friend I turned out to be.
The pain is a bit less this morning, but it's
still there – a prickling burn in my heart. I feel like I lost my
best friend and my one hope for love at the same time, when I know
damn well I didn't have to. Emma was right. She called my bluff
while I was avoiding my reflection in the mirror.
I wasn't running to save Saul and Victoria
trouble. I was gonna run so I could wallow in self-pity, and
because I'm not brave enough to try and get over the idea that Saul
will never be my lover. I need to get over it, though. I need to
stop making excuses, stop making stupid plans to move to El Paso,
and I need to be the friend Saul deserves.
I just hope it's not too late to fix what I done
fucked over royally.
It's not that I wholly regret what happened last
night and what I said. Brandon was right – there's been too many
damn secrets around here lately. Saul deserved to know the truth
about how I feel. Sleeping with him wouldn't have
Similar Books
