If You Ask Me

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Authors: Betty White
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other’s eyes and both obviously enjoying the moment completely. For Koko, this just seemed like natural conversation!
    While all this was going on, Penny and her photographer, Ronald Cohn, were snapping pictures, for which I am eternally grateful, since I would never have been able to convince myself—let alone anyone else—that this had actually taken place.
    When people see these pictures, the first question is invariably, “Weren’t you petrified?!” In all honesty, I have to tell you I was so completely caught up in this unbelievable experience that fear never entered my mind.
    Can you imagine the absolute trust Penny has to have in this animal? Koko was dealing with a total stranger—not her familiar and beloved Dr. Patterson. And she was taking that stranger into her own private territory while a relaxed Penny sat outside, taking pictures and writing down Koko’s reactions.
    Koko and I visited for about twenty minutes. At one point, she got up and disappeared into the back of the house. After a moment, she returned, carrying a toy alligator that was about a foot long. As she handed the toy to me, she frowned and shivered her shoulders. I really didn’t need Penny’s explanation that I was being told that the alligator was “scary.” Koko made it very clear.
    I have been back to see this wonderful creature three times, and can’t wait to go again. The last time I was there, Koko kept rubbing her fingers across her mouth—and now I did need Penny’s translation.
    “She recognizes you.” Penny laughed. “And she has named you ‘Lipstick.’ Not many of her visitors actually wear lipstick.”
    We recently celebrated Koko’s thirty-seventh birthday. Koko, dear: As smart as you are, you haven’t learned as much from us as we are learning from you.

    DR. RON COHN/GORILLA FOUNDATION/KOKO.ORG

STUFFED ANIMALS
    N ow, here is a subject I should stay away from or I risk having a net thrown over me—but since we’ve come this far, I’ll chance it.
    You won’t be surprised to learn that I love stuffed animals. Both at my home in Los Angeles and at my house in Carmel there is a special room devoted to them, filled to capacity. I especially love the exotic ones—there is an anteater, a rhinoceros, a beluga whale, an armadillo, a bear—not a Teddy, a grizzly —the list goes on.
    Where it begins to get a little weird is that to me, these stuffed animals are almost real. They have their individual personalities—some are looking right into my eyes—and when a new member joins the group, I introduce him to the others. The animals have been collected over the years—I don’t actually go out and buy them.
    My fax machine is also in that room, so I go in and out often. (I keep the door closed, because Ponti [aka Pontiac, my golden retriever] thinks anything stuffed with cotton is his territory.) Well, I never enter that room without speaking to the animals. “Hi, guys!” And I never leave it without saying, “See you later. I love you.” Out loud! [Editor’s Note: I am eighty-nine years old!]
    Ponti isn’t the only reason the door remains closed. That also happens to be the catchall room that keeps me awake at night.
    It shouldn’t surprise you that I don’t often tell anyone what I have just revealed.
    Let’s keep it between us.

    With a real live tiger cub!
    NBCU PHOTO BANK

BEETHOVEN
    H ave you ever petted a hard-boiled egg? An enormous one that’s in your lap? I have, and it was one of the happiest experiences of my life.
    Not long ago, I spent some time in Atlanta, Georgia, filming a movie, The Proposal , with Sandra Bullock and Ryan Reynolds. As a rule, I try to avoid going on location—being away from home and Ponti is not my favorite thing. However, this was such a good script, and the cast—Sandra and Ryan—was almost irresistible. There was something else that influenced my decision, which you might find strange—Atlanta is home to a famous aquarium.
    I have worked with the Monterey Bay

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