Read Online If Only by A. J. Pine - Free Book Online Page A

atrium. But it’s not him.
    “Beautiful.” Noah breathes the word. “And thank you.”
    “For what?” I ask, pulling my hand and phone free from his grip.
    His eyes follow his hands as he hides them in his front pockets. After a moment of hesitation he brings his focus back to me.
    “For finally talking to me.” He laughs, a sound shaky and unsure, and with that apprehension, the unanswered questions hang between us like an impenetrable wall.
    “Can I say something?” he asks.
    I want to tell him no, but my head nods, the pleading in his voice melting my resolve.
    “I don’t do things like that, what happened between us.”
    Nope. I’ve changed my mind. I don’t want him to explain. What explanation could he give that would make what happened on the train anything more than what it was—a lovely moment between strangers. One that wasn’t meant to be anything more.
    Shoving my phone into my pocket, I turn back toward the main campus, but Noah catches my hand in his before I can put any distance between us.
    “Brooks. Wait. Will you just wait?”
    I hold up my arm, showing him his hand clamped over mine. “I don’t have a choice, do I?”
    He rolls his eyes, and I scoff out a laugh. He’s annoyed with me? But I say nothing. If he wants it so badly, the floor is his.
    “Your hands are freezing,” he says, the sudden warmth of his voice and his other hand enveloping mine threatens to turn me into a puddle.
    “Give me your other hand,” he says, but he doesn’t wait for me before grabbing my other one and sandwiching them both between his as he works to rub the warmth back into them.
    Heat radiates through my body, not just my hands. It’s. Not. Him. But it’s getting harder to lie to myself.
    “Noah.” I try to free my hands, but he clasps both my wrists.
    Eyebrows raised, he asks, “If I let go, do you promise no dramatic exits?”
    Right back to condescending. Nice. At least that stupid warmth is gone.
    “Fine,” I say through gritted teeth, and he lets go. My arms cross over my chest, and I keep my word, standing still.
    “I meant what I said. I wasn’t myself on the train. I don’t know what came over me.”
    I huff out a breath. “This is supposed to make me feel better?”
    Noah fastens his hands behind his neck and groans. “That’s not what I meant. Shit, what is it about you, Brooks? I’ve known you for a day, but you make me crazy like I’ve known you for years. Everything you’re thinking right now is an assumption, and you’re probably wrong about ninety percent of it.”
    I open my mouth to argue, to prove I’m right, but he shakes his head.
    “You,” he says. “ You are what came over me on the train. And it’s not because you’re attractive or that you love books enough to quote them back to me. And it’s certainly not because you made what could have been an unbearable situation infinitely better.”
    He had to use that word— infinite— what I wanted not just that kiss to be but our entire exchange outside the loo.
    I take a step back, not prepared for the impenetrable wall to start crumbling.
    “What is it, then?” I ask.
    “All of it,” he says, not daring to step past that wall, as much as I now desperately want him to.
    “But Hailey,” I say, my voice breaking on her name. “How could you do that to her?”
    He moves a step back, too, fighting the pull we both know is there.
    “We weren’t together then. I swear. As much as I say I acted out of character, I promise you I wasn’t cheating on her.”
    His eyes bore into me, and I believe him. Another step back. I need to keep moving before I ask any more.
    “But you’re together now?” I ask.
    He nods, only once, slow and even.
    “At the risk of sounding like a Facebook status…it’s complicated.”
    “Say no more.” I cut him off from any further explanation. “I don’t do complicated.”
    The truth is, I don’t want to know what binds them together, what could have made a difference in one