her. “Why did you tell me this shit about you and
Marcus?” I said. “I didn't need to know this.”
“I just thought you should know,” she said, stammering. “He
pretends to he your friend, and then he fools around with me. And
I don't think it's right that he knows about something that hap-
pened between us and you don't.”
“Hey, we're not married anymore, remember? You're single and
he's single. The only thing I don't get is why you did it. You're always
bitching about people cheating and fucking around on each other,
and here you are getting it on with a guy who's about to get married.”
“I don't know what I was thinking,” she said. “He was so nice
to me, and he always listened, and it just sort of happened.”
“That shit doesn't just happen,” I said.
“I'm sorry.”
“Forget it. You don't owe me an apology. You don't owe me
anything. But I still can't understand why you told me. Or what all
you expect me to do. It's not like I'm going to cancel their wedding
or something.”
“No, of course not.”
“You know what I'm going to do?” I said. “I'm not going to do
anything. This has nothing to do with me.”
“Don't get mad, O.J.”
“I'm not mad. I'm just telling you: We're not married any-
more, Nicole, and the reason we're not married is because you
didn't want to be married.”
“I'm sorry.”
“Stop apologizing,” I said. “I'm just telling you how it is.”
“So what am I supposed to do about Marcus?”
"See—there you go again! You're asking me what to do. Can't
you figure it out for yourself? Isn't that what you wanted? To get out
from under my shadow? To go off and be on your own and have
your own friends and be your own person?“
She was crying again. ”But he keeps calling me.“
”So tell him you're going to tell Kathryn.“
”You think I should?“
”I bet that would stop him pretty quick.“
”I'm sorry,“ she said again.
I took a deep breath. ”You know, Nicole, this right here is why
I've been avoiding you. Every time we talk, something comes up.
You've got a problem with this or a problem with that, and you put
everything on me. 'Help me, O.J.! Fix this for me, O.J.!' Well, I
can't be doing that all the time. You asked me to move on, you
wanted to break us up, and you got it. We're broken up and I've
moved on. Or I'm trying to, anyway.“
She was crying again. ”I'm a mess, O.J.“
”You're not a mess.“
”Can I come to your house to see the kids?“
”Nicole, come on. They're asleep.“
”I want to see them.“
”No,“ I said, but I said it nice. ”I'm taking them to Vegas in
the morning. You'll see them Sunday.“
”Okay,“ she said, wiping her tears.
She got out of the car and I waited until she was in her own
car, then I drove home. The kids were still up, past their regular
bedtime, and I got them to brush their teeth and tucked them in.
Just as they were falling asleep, someone buzzed my front gate. I
went downstairs. It was Nicole.
”'What's up?“ I said.
”I don't feel like being alone,“ she said. ”I miss the kids.“
”They're asleep, Nicole. And I'm tired. I'm going to bed.“
”Can I just stay here for a little? Please?"
If you want to know the truth, I felt bad for her. Even with all
the therapy and all of these new insights and stuff, it was obvious
she was still having trouble getting it together. We went upstairs.
The kids were fast asleep. I stripped to my underwear and got into
my side of the bed, careful not to wake them. Nicole lay down on
the far side of the kids, saying she wouldn't stay long.
I guess I must have nodded off, because the next thing I knew
she was standing on my side of the bed, tugging at my arm. A
moment later I found myself following her into the bedroom next
door, and a moment after that we were making love. It was the first
time we'd been together since the split, and I was feeling all sorts of
feelings I would have preferred not to feel.
Needless to say, it was all very confusing.
3.
PERIOD
Marcus?” I said. “I didn't need to know this.”
“I just thought you should know,” she said, stammering. “He
pretends to he your friend, and then he fools around with me. And
I don't think it's right that he knows about something that hap-
pened between us and you don't.”
“Hey, we're not married anymore, remember? You're single and
he's single. The only thing I don't get is why you did it. You're always
bitching about people cheating and fucking around on each other,
and here you are getting it on with a guy who's about to get married.”
“I don't know what I was thinking,” she said. “He was so nice
to me, and he always listened, and it just sort of happened.”
“That shit doesn't just happen,” I said.
“I'm sorry.”
“Forget it. You don't owe me an apology. You don't owe me
anything. But I still can't understand why you told me. Or what all
you expect me to do. It's not like I'm going to cancel their wedding
or something.”
“No, of course not.”
“You know what I'm going to do?” I said. “I'm not going to do
anything. This has nothing to do with me.”
“Don't get mad, O.J.”
“I'm not mad. I'm just telling you: We're not married any-
more, Nicole, and the reason we're not married is because you
didn't want to be married.”
“I'm sorry.”
“Stop apologizing,” I said. “I'm just telling you how it is.”
“So what am I supposed to do about Marcus?”
"See—there you go again! You're asking me what to do. Can't
you figure it out for yourself? Isn't that what you wanted? To get out
from under my shadow? To go off and be on your own and have
your own friends and be your own person?“
She was crying again. ”But he keeps calling me.“
”So tell him you're going to tell Kathryn.“
”You think I should?“
”I bet that would stop him pretty quick.“
”I'm sorry,“ she said again.
I took a deep breath. ”You know, Nicole, this right here is why
I've been avoiding you. Every time we talk, something comes up.
You've got a problem with this or a problem with that, and you put
everything on me. 'Help me, O.J.! Fix this for me, O.J.!' Well, I
can't be doing that all the time. You asked me to move on, you
wanted to break us up, and you got it. We're broken up and I've
moved on. Or I'm trying to, anyway.“
She was crying again. ”I'm a mess, O.J.“
”You're not a mess.“
”Can I come to your house to see the kids?“
”Nicole, come on. They're asleep.“
”I want to see them.“
”No,“ I said, but I said it nice. ”I'm taking them to Vegas in
the morning. You'll see them Sunday.“
”Okay,“ she said, wiping her tears.
She got out of the car and I waited until she was in her own
car, then I drove home. The kids were still up, past their regular
bedtime, and I got them to brush their teeth and tucked them in.
Just as they were falling asleep, someone buzzed my front gate. I
went downstairs. It was Nicole.
”'What's up?“ I said.
”I don't feel like being alone,“ she said. ”I miss the kids.“
”They're asleep, Nicole. And I'm tired. I'm going to bed.“
”Can I just stay here for a little? Please?"
If you want to know the truth, I felt bad for her. Even with all
the therapy and all of these new insights and stuff, it was obvious
she was still having trouble getting it together. We went upstairs.
The kids were fast asleep. I stripped to my underwear and got into
my side of the bed, careful not to wake them. Nicole lay down on
the far side of the kids, saying she wouldn't stay long.
I guess I must have nodded off, because the next thing I knew
she was standing on my side of the bed, tugging at my arm. A
moment later I found myself following her into the bedroom next
door, and a moment after that we were making love. It was the first
time we'd been together since the split, and I was feeling all sorts of
feelings I would have preferred not to feel.
Needless to say, it was all very confusing.
3.
PERIOD
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