beautiful emerald necklace inside. I was so enamored with the necklace that I didn’t notice the car key—though, I did wonder why he brought me to the parking garage to give it to me.
Those were one of our good days, just a memory now. There’s no sense in fantasizing about those, dwelling on the past when I live in the present, even if the present is falling short. How long do I hold on to those memories when they’re fading further and further away? I pop the trunk on my car to heave my suitcase in and slam it closed. I take a deep breath as I get into the car and shut the door. I sit for a moment, leaning back and gripping the steering wheel. Suddenly, the enormity of what I’m doing washes over me and I lean forward to rest my head on the steering wheel.
“What am I going to do now?” I say softly to myself.
May 3rd 2008
“I can’t believe you really considered screwing him,” Angela chuckles as she wipes down the bar. We’ve been doing inventory on all the alcohol, our regular routine before the club opens. Angela is the one who pulled a few strings to get me my job here. Her mother and my Aunt Raven used to go to college together and thankfully, stayed in touch, so when I moved here to the big city I wasn’t just a nameless face with no one to call a friend. Angela got me this job and introduced me to Hillary, who needed a roommate to help her cover the rent.
“I know. I feel like I’m Hillary,” I joke pulling the case of Patron Tequila.
“Nah Hillary would have fucked him right on the front door,” Angela chuckles.
“That’s what she told me I should have done. She said it would have ‘liberated me,’” I say using air quotes.
Angela laughs and then sighs.
“Well, I say you only live once. But, you shouldn’t do anything you’ll regret either,” she says her tone going from playful to serious over the span of the sentence.
“So, when are you going to see him again?” she asks giddily.
“I don’t know. I’m waiting for him to call. He hasn’t yet,” I admit begrudgingly.
“After a kiss like that; He’s going to call. You need to think about what’s going to be your excuse to not screw him if he picks you up in a car,” she nudges me in the side and we laugh before her attention turns to the door.
“Look who’s entered the building,” she says sardonically. I look over to see Michael strolling in. How ironic, one of my biggest regrets walking right towards me.
“You know, for someone who doesn’t work here anymore, you spend an awful lot of time here. Shouldn’t you be out arresting criminals?” she mocks, snapping him playfully with her rag. He’s working a part-time security job now.
“And good afternoon to you too, Angie,” he smirks, walking past her.
“Well, it was, then you got here,” Angela sings before heading to the back, twisting her cold black hair in a faux bun leaving us alone.
“Lauren, we need to talk,” he says, the playfulness in his voice turning serious.
I arch my eyebrow at him. “No, Michael. We don’t,” I say shortly as I walk past him. I can feel him following close behind me.
“Please,” he insists, grabbing my hand.
“Michael, we haven’t been on speaking terms for at least two months. What’s the big deal now?” I ask, snatching my hand back.
He doesn’t say anything for a moment, but then blurts out, “I miss you. I want us to at least still be friends. Like you and Steven are. You guys stopped going out and you’re still friends!”
This time, both of my eyebrows go up.
“Seriously? Steven and I went out a few times. We weren’t in a relationship and he didn’t feel it necessary to screw some other girl while I was upstairs working,” I say more bitterly than I intend.
“Lauren. I don’t know what I was thinking that night. If you would just listen....”
“You’re talking a lot. But you’re not saying anything worth listening to,” I interrupt him.
“I messed up. I’m sorry. I’m so
Those were one of our good days, just a memory now. There’s no sense in fantasizing about those, dwelling on the past when I live in the present, even if the present is falling short. How long do I hold on to those memories when they’re fading further and further away? I pop the trunk on my car to heave my suitcase in and slam it closed. I take a deep breath as I get into the car and shut the door. I sit for a moment, leaning back and gripping the steering wheel. Suddenly, the enormity of what I’m doing washes over me and I lean forward to rest my head on the steering wheel.
“What am I going to do now?” I say softly to myself.
May 3rd 2008
“I can’t believe you really considered screwing him,” Angela chuckles as she wipes down the bar. We’ve been doing inventory on all the alcohol, our regular routine before the club opens. Angela is the one who pulled a few strings to get me my job here. Her mother and my Aunt Raven used to go to college together and thankfully, stayed in touch, so when I moved here to the big city I wasn’t just a nameless face with no one to call a friend. Angela got me this job and introduced me to Hillary, who needed a roommate to help her cover the rent.
“I know. I feel like I’m Hillary,” I joke pulling the case of Patron Tequila.
“Nah Hillary would have fucked him right on the front door,” Angela chuckles.
“That’s what she told me I should have done. She said it would have ‘liberated me,’” I say using air quotes.
Angela laughs and then sighs.
“Well, I say you only live once. But, you shouldn’t do anything you’ll regret either,” she says her tone going from playful to serious over the span of the sentence.
“So, when are you going to see him again?” she asks giddily.
“I don’t know. I’m waiting for him to call. He hasn’t yet,” I admit begrudgingly.
“After a kiss like that; He’s going to call. You need to think about what’s going to be your excuse to not screw him if he picks you up in a car,” she nudges me in the side and we laugh before her attention turns to the door.
“Look who’s entered the building,” she says sardonically. I look over to see Michael strolling in. How ironic, one of my biggest regrets walking right towards me.
“You know, for someone who doesn’t work here anymore, you spend an awful lot of time here. Shouldn’t you be out arresting criminals?” she mocks, snapping him playfully with her rag. He’s working a part-time security job now.
“And good afternoon to you too, Angie,” he smirks, walking past her.
“Well, it was, then you got here,” Angela sings before heading to the back, twisting her cold black hair in a faux bun leaving us alone.
“Lauren, we need to talk,” he says, the playfulness in his voice turning serious.
I arch my eyebrow at him. “No, Michael. We don’t,” I say shortly as I walk past him. I can feel him following close behind me.
“Please,” he insists, grabbing my hand.
“Michael, we haven’t been on speaking terms for at least two months. What’s the big deal now?” I ask, snatching my hand back.
He doesn’t say anything for a moment, but then blurts out, “I miss you. I want us to at least still be friends. Like you and Steven are. You guys stopped going out and you’re still friends!”
This time, both of my eyebrows go up.
“Seriously? Steven and I went out a few times. We weren’t in a relationship and he didn’t feel it necessary to screw some other girl while I was upstairs working,” I say more bitterly than I intend.
“Lauren. I don’t know what I was thinking that night. If you would just listen....”
“You’re talking a lot. But you’re not saying anything worth listening to,” I interrupt him.
“I messed up. I’m sorry. I’m so
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