Read Online I Was Here All Along by Penny Blake - Free Book Online Page A

for him. Well, that and teach kids the way taught me, kids like Simon who face more struggles than most.”
     
    I reach out and put my hand in one of his.  He catches me by surprise by taking it, then he looks up and meets my gaze.
     
    “You know, I’m proud of you, December.  Most people give up after a few sessions, so seeing how far you’ve come is really rewarding. Thanks for letting me be part of your journey.” 
     
    “You’re welcome,” I say, enjoying the feel of his big warm hand in mine.  And at that moment, I realize I want so much more from Rio.  I’m not even sure what, only that it’s enormous, all-encompassing and completely inescapable.  “Rio, can I ask you something?”
     
    “Sure.”
     
    “I understand that you don’t want to be anything more than workout partners—I get that.  But I just want to know why.  Is it because I’m still not thin enough, or is it my personality?  I know I’m not a very sexy person.  I’ve been trying to be seductive but obviously it’s not working.  You’re a guy, what can I do to—”
     
    “Shhh,” he says with a smile.  “There’s nothing wrong with you, absolutely nothing. You’re a beautiful girl with a good heart.”
     
    “Then why don’t you want me?”
     
    “Because I don’t want to ruin you,” he says.  “I’m not a good guy, Ember.  Don’t waste your time on me.  I’m bad news.  I’ll only fuck up your life and leave you with a whole world of hurt.”
     
    I tilt my head in confusion, but he gets up for real this time.  “Thanks for the drink,” he says, taking a step backwards.  “And I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?”  He snaps his fingers and points at me.  “Don’t be late.”
     

Chapter 16
     
    Breathless
     
    “Just have a fling,” Drew says.  We’re running through the park and we’ve just reached the final part of the trail that winds through scrub oak and blueberry bushes.  “I mean, you’re twenty one, you’ve only been with one guy and it was a really long relationship.  You don’t want to jump into something serious this fast do you?”
     
    “I would be completely… satisfied with a fling…but I don’t think Rio wants one…I told you…he keeps shutting down…all my attempts at seduction.”  Drew is a much better runner than me, and it’s all I can do to keep up with him, much less carry on a conversation and still breathe.
     
    “That seems strange to me,” he says.  “You must not be trying hard enough.  The guy obviously likes women.”—I’d told Drew about all Rio’s fuck buddies—“What are you doing to seduce him?”
     
    “I don’t know…pushing my boobs out and stuff… he knows I’m a sure thing…just from what I’ve said.”
     
    “Then you should find someone else who’s interested.  You look great Ember.  And you’re every guy’s dream come true—a gorgeous girl who’s spent her whole life overweight so she developed an awesome personality and stayed completely down to earth.  You’re not going to have to look very far to find someone who would give his left nut to...”
     
    “To what?” I grin and shoot him a look, feeling giddy that he just called me gorgeous and awesome.
     
    “To help you get your groove back, baby.” He elbows me as we run past the lake.  Our feet crunch over fallen leaves as we forge ahead.  This is the hardest stretch because there’s a steep incline, but once the ground levels out, it means we’ve completed two and a half miles.
     
    I love running with Drew.  He’s become like a gay male friend to me.  Because he’s totally off limits, I can be completely myself around him without having to worry about what he thinks, and he gives me excellent insight into the male mind. 
     
    Drew has seen me at my lowest and he knows just how hard I’ve been pushing myself these past few months.  He’s never been anything but patient and supportive, cheering me on every step of the way.  Even pretending I