Read Online Hunter's Fall by Shiloh Walker - Free Book Online Page B
Authors: Shiloh Walker
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whispered, shaking her head. She couldn’t do this. She’d refused to let herself dream of him in the past year, refused to let herself take comfort in his presence. In those dreams, she’d felt almost happy . . . and she couldn’t be happy. Would never truly be happy and having it in her dreams, only in her dreams was just too much.
Too painful.
“No,” she whispered again, shuddering.
The spell was shattered and Nessa found herself on her hands and knees, staring at the book. It lay just inches from her hands.
Swearing, she shoved upright and kicked it away. It ended up under the bed, but she didn’t bother retrieving it.
Nessa cast a look around the room.
Enough. She’d had enough.
“Damn it.” She shoved a hand through her hair, fisted it in the blond strands. She jerked at it, hoping the light tug would help clear her mind, but it did nothing.
Her head ached, her heart ached.
Confusion and chaos reigned inside her.
All from a bloody picture on a damned book.
And she was so fucking tired of it. So tired.
“I’m stronger than this,” she muttered. Slowly, she turned and stared into the mirror hanging over the fireplace.
She was stronger than this.
“By God, it’s time I started acting like it then, isn’t it?” Lifting her face upward, she gathered her magic, and in moments, she was gone, letting it carry her away.
CHAPTER 5
“ I ’M not doing very well, darling.”
Nessa was talking to a stone angel.
The marble headstone held Mei-Lin’s name, her date of birth and the day she died. Such a short time she’d walked this earth. Seventeen years, to the day.
Below the dates there was an angel, etched into the marble with amazing delicacy. Brushing her fingers over the wings, Nessa said, “I’d be ashamed if you could see me now, what I’ve become.”
There was no answer, but she hadn’t expected one.
The past week had passed with startling, unpleasant clarity. Ever since she’d left Excelsior, she’d been all too sane, all too aware. She hated it, and some part of her yearned for the oblivion of the past year. She hardly remembered much of it. It was a vague, hazy blur, one she longed to find again.
But it wouldn’t be so easy this time.
Grimacing, she touched her neck. The skin beneath her fingers was smooth, unscarred, no sign of the nasty bite that could have killed her—it likely would have, if she were human.
Or if God had any intention of letting her die.
Damn Malachi for saving her. Damn her own hide for collapsing and giving him the opportunity to get her to Excelsior.
Just being at the school had reminded her. She knew who she was. She knew what she was meant to do with her life. Finding her own death wasn’t in the plan, no matter how much she longed for it.
Pushing her hair back from her face, she stared off into the night. It was past midnight. The cemetery was closed and she wasn’t supposed to be here right now.
Not that she cared. Nessa didn’t listen to or follow rules that kept her from doing what she wanted. If she wanted to visit a loved one’s grave, why couldn’t she do it at whatever hour she chose?
The mild spring breeze teased her hair, carrying with it the scent of rain and blooming flowers. It smelled of life, and of new death. Why did people always feel the need to offer flowers to their dead?
“I can’t keep going like this, can I, darling?” Nessa stroked the marble headstone and then pushed herself to her feet.
Tucking her hands in her pockets, she said, “I think it’s time I say good-bye.”
Since Mei-Lin’s death, Nessa had made it habit to come visit her grave as often as possible. She’d done it in part because she wasn’t ready to let the girl go, but also because she wanted to remind herself—punish herself. Using the pain, deliberately inflicting it upon herself, like jabbing a needle into an open wound.
Logically, Nessa knew there was nothing she could have done to save Mei-Lin. It had been an accident—a
Too painful.
“No,” she whispered again, shuddering.
The spell was shattered and Nessa found herself on her hands and knees, staring at the book. It lay just inches from her hands.
Swearing, she shoved upright and kicked it away. It ended up under the bed, but she didn’t bother retrieving it.
Nessa cast a look around the room.
Enough. She’d had enough.
“Damn it.” She shoved a hand through her hair, fisted it in the blond strands. She jerked at it, hoping the light tug would help clear her mind, but it did nothing.
Her head ached, her heart ached.
Confusion and chaos reigned inside her.
All from a bloody picture on a damned book.
And she was so fucking tired of it. So tired.
“I’m stronger than this,” she muttered. Slowly, she turned and stared into the mirror hanging over the fireplace.
She was stronger than this.
“By God, it’s time I started acting like it then, isn’t it?” Lifting her face upward, she gathered her magic, and in moments, she was gone, letting it carry her away.
CHAPTER 5
“ I ’M not doing very well, darling.”
Nessa was talking to a stone angel.
The marble headstone held Mei-Lin’s name, her date of birth and the day she died. Such a short time she’d walked this earth. Seventeen years, to the day.
Below the dates there was an angel, etched into the marble with amazing delicacy. Brushing her fingers over the wings, Nessa said, “I’d be ashamed if you could see me now, what I’ve become.”
There was no answer, but she hadn’t expected one.
The past week had passed with startling, unpleasant clarity. Ever since she’d left Excelsior, she’d been all too sane, all too aware. She hated it, and some part of her yearned for the oblivion of the past year. She hardly remembered much of it. It was a vague, hazy blur, one she longed to find again.
But it wouldn’t be so easy this time.
Grimacing, she touched her neck. The skin beneath her fingers was smooth, unscarred, no sign of the nasty bite that could have killed her—it likely would have, if she were human.
Or if God had any intention of letting her die.
Damn Malachi for saving her. Damn her own hide for collapsing and giving him the opportunity to get her to Excelsior.
Just being at the school had reminded her. She knew who she was. She knew what she was meant to do with her life. Finding her own death wasn’t in the plan, no matter how much she longed for it.
Pushing her hair back from her face, she stared off into the night. It was past midnight. The cemetery was closed and she wasn’t supposed to be here right now.
Not that she cared. Nessa didn’t listen to or follow rules that kept her from doing what she wanted. If she wanted to visit a loved one’s grave, why couldn’t she do it at whatever hour she chose?
The mild spring breeze teased her hair, carrying with it the scent of rain and blooming flowers. It smelled of life, and of new death. Why did people always feel the need to offer flowers to their dead?
“I can’t keep going like this, can I, darling?” Nessa stroked the marble headstone and then pushed herself to her feet.
Tucking her hands in her pockets, she said, “I think it’s time I say good-bye.”
Since Mei-Lin’s death, Nessa had made it habit to come visit her grave as often as possible. She’d done it in part because she wasn’t ready to let the girl go, but also because she wanted to remind herself—punish herself. Using the pain, deliberately inflicting it upon herself, like jabbing a needle into an open wound.
Logically, Nessa knew there was nothing she could have done to save Mei-Lin. It had been an accident—a
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