Read Online Hungry Ghosts by Susan Dunlap - Free Book Online Page B

I wasn’t ready to talk about Mike or pretend not to while discussing Eamon. And I couldn’t shift enough to deal with her accident, my guilt. I said, “Tia, what made you leap into that wretched tunnel?”
    â€œIt was your fault.”
    â€œMy fault?” For an instant I thought she had read my mind about her accident. But the tunnel, my fault? “I never—”
    â€œI was looking down that first hole, the one in back of the zendo that went to the sewer or whatever, thinking, anyone would be mad to jump in , and then you shoved forward insisting you were the professional.”
    â€œThat’s crazy. I never wanted to jump in, I just thought—”
    â€œBut you looked like you would. You looked great, strong, fearless. So—” She leaned toward me and lowered her voice. “This is so childish. Youknow, Darcy, I wouldn’t admit this to anyone but you, but after that bit with the hole, when I saw the ladder down into the tunnel, I knew that was something I could do. My arms are strong now, stronger than anyone might imagine.”
    Strong enough to compensate for her mangled back! “Oh, God. Tia, I am so sorry.” I reached for her hands. “If it hadn’t been for me doing that cable car—”
    â€œForget it!”
    â€œIf I hadn’t—”
    â€œIt wasn’t about you.” She didn’t pull her hands free; they lay cold, unmoving, in mine.
    I was an idiot. I wanted to tell her how bad I felt about stealing her dignity, too. I wanted . . . I was just an idiot. I sat, sweat lathering my back, waiting for her to move.
    She remained still, neither looking away nor even shifting in her chair. “It really wasn’t about you last night, Darcy. It was about Eamon.” Then she eased her hands free. “Like I said, this isn’t super-mature. But I was tired from standing, I hobbled out of the reception, and I didn’t want Eamon to leave with the impression that I was a cripple. I had to change the story line. It worked, see?”
    I had to jam my teeth together to keep from saying I was sorry again.
    â€œDarcy, listen to me. It’s not your fault. Believe me! I’m almost insulted you think it is! No, don’t answer. I’ve made my choices, I live with them, and—” She led my gaze around the room—“do it damn well, in Pacific Heights. But I don’t take foolish chances.”
    â€œYeah, well,” I contradicted her. Her mouth tightened ever so slightly, ready for the obvious comeback about her accident. I went on. “What about running into the dark in the tunnel and hitting the end?”
    She laughed, relieved. “Okay, not often.”
    â€œWhy’d you do it?”
    â€œWhy not?”
    â€œNo, really, Tia, why?”
    A small jade frog stood guard next to her glass; she ran a finger up its lumpy back. “What did you think?”
    â€œYou were crazy.”
    â€œCrazy loco, or crazy tough?”
    â€œBoth.”
    â€œGood enough.” She smiled and caught my eye in a way that said my “good enough” mattered. “Listen, Darcy, I’m glad you’re back. We could have been friends, in school, if . . .”
    â€œIf Mike’s disappearance didn’t destroy everything.” The words were out before I realized it.
    She nodded slowly and rubbed her finger gently back and forth across the jade. I understood the comforting gesture, and that she had trusted me with things she worked to conceal. And there was something about her that made me trust her with what I hadn’t even revealed this way to Leo. “Mike walked out the door into the fog over twenty years ago, and it’s like yesterday. There’s not a day I don’t think of him. He was my buddy, my protector in the family. And when he vanished, everything stopped. No one in the family talked about him, not after the initial flurry. He was totally gone. And I was