Read Online Humbled by Patricia Haley - Free Book Online Page B

simultaneously. She sat close to him. He didn’t resist. Ironically, he recalled being in a similar scene several months ago with Zarah. His lack of resistance that lone evening had the two of them facing an unexpected pregnancy now. Joel chuckled inside and casually slid over.
    â€œI’m very happy about our baby,” she said, clearly excited. The same level of enthusiasm didn’t spill over to him. He was stuck in reflection, while Zarah was in “We’re married and having a baby” gear. The more he thought about the baby, the more his head hurt. He rubbed his temples as Zarah chatted uncontrollably. He’d never seen her quite so animated. He didn’t dare take away her elation. He only wished she wasn’t asking him to join her.
    â€œWe have to make plans for the nursery. We have to schedule painters and order the furniture. This will be very nice for us to do together.”
    â€œNo, you go ahead,” he said, unclasping Zarah’s hand from his and setting it on her thigh.
    â€œYes, I’m so sorry. You are too busy for the nursery. It’s no worry. I have plenty of help here for the nursery. But we must speak about making arrangements for the baby to be blessed in the temple. We must travel to India as soon after the birth as possible. We want the gods to bless our child with health, happiness, and prosperity.”
    Joel had to pause, having never thought about how their children would be raised given that he was Christian and Zarah paid homage to many gods, drawing on her internal energy as the source of her faith. She had her gods, and he had his God. Not until this moment had he fully weighed the gravity of his decision to marry Zarah. While he’d gained by marrying her and having access to her father’s business, he’d clearly compromised much more—his dignity, his beliefs, and most importantly, his relationship with God. Although he was rusty spiritually, Joel’s common sense was intact enough for him to know he wasn’t willing to sideline his faith for Zarah’s. The magnitude of his decision to stay in or leave the marriage was increasing.
    â€œI’d rather have the baby dedicated in a Christian church. Besides, why would you want to fly so far with a newborn baby when there are plenty of churches right here that I trust?”
    He saw her excitement cool down in her expression. “Blessings are most important in my culture and in my family. My child would not be accepted if I didn’t go for the blessings,” she said as her eyes watered. “I don’t want our child to be treated as rubbish. My family would not accept either of us, me or our baby.” A tear fell from her eye.
    â€œCalm down and don’t upset yourself. We’ll work this out.”
    He had to take her seriously, but what was he to do? If he chose to stay in the marriage, it would be for the child. If he was going to raise a child, it had to be baptized in the church with the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit. There was no way he could let his child be blessed by another god or dedicated through any other religion. Joel couldn’t fathom the concept. No amount of liberal juice or well-spoken reasons or tears was going to change his mind on this one. They were at an impasse, and she was totally unaware of it. To get into a heated argument with her was pointless. There was a minimum of six months before such a decision had to be made. By then, they might be divorced, anyway.
    Too much to think about, Joel thought. The more he reflected on their differences and the conditions by which they were married, the more his inclination to stay married lost traction. Joel had to be honest. He couldn’t give Zarah what she wanted. Leading her on would be cruel.
    â€œI’m going to grab a few more clothes.”
    â€œAnd then we can sit down together for dinner. I had the cook make a nice meal before she left. You will be pleased,”