first date, he either relationships. Men tend to compartmentalize. In terms of sex, this had a world-class date or he is not aware of the message he is means men can go into the bedroom and turn off whatever happened sending. Red roses are not the casual thank-you flower.”
that day. Yet when women lie down, a steady stream of to-do lists can still be crossing the billboard of her mind. Therefore, gentlemen, you need to help her decompress and become still if you want to Relaxation Is Key
arouse her later. The connection is very concrete and very clear: Unless a woman is relaxed in her mind, her body will not follow suit.
There is no getting around one simple fact: A typical woman will not And if her body isn’t relaxed, it won’t get excited.
get turned on if she isn’t relaxed. That said, as a partner to this activity, you are being challenged to get her in the mood. How can SECRET FROM LOU’S ARCHIVES
you help her relax? You’ll be happy (and perhaps relieved) to know Did you know the word “negligee” suggests that the woman that there are some tried-and-true ways to helping your partner wearing it should relax and refrain from housework? It comes loosen up so that she not only responds to you better but also enjoys from the Latin neglegere, “to neglect,” whose literal translation is herself more completely. As a forty-something physician told me, “I
“not to pick up.”
know I have to get my wife relaxed enough to get her turned on. If she can’t relax, I know nothing is going to happen. And that’s why I am king of foot massages.” Another seminar attendee, an architect IT’S ELEMENTARY
from Madison, Wisconsin, said that he draws his partner a hot bath, There are four essential elements to help a woman relax. Consider
“with her favorite lavender salts. If she gets one whiff as she walks these in no particular order:
through the door, I know she’s all mine.”
But most men (and women) will agree that though the physical ¾
effects of your method are important, the key to relaxing her is your Make her comfortable , mentally and physically.
¾
attitude. Quite simply, if she feels like you have gone out of your Minimize interruptions .
¾
way to treat her as special, she will respond.
Make the space and time , even if it is only ten minutes.
¾ Let her know you like her body .
SECRET FROM LOU’S ARCHIVES
1. Making her comfortable mentally and physically is about Relaxing can start twenty-four hours ahead of the game—in your providing a good, safe, and enjoyable environment for a
head.
sexual encounter. For instance, if you are not married and do not live together, try to make your bedroom a place that is And why is relaxing so important for women? Because women’s inviting for her. Does she have a corner of the room, perhaps brains can juggle ten things at a time, and usually, out of necessity, a drawer or a dresser where she can leave her toiletries or some clothes? If you are married or live together, make sure two sleeps it will be Saturday,’ which was our escape day.
that you pay attention to the state of your bedroom as well, We both cracked up.”
participating in keeping it tidy, putting away your clothes, or 3. Make the space and time by planning. Just as you set aside simply making sure the bed is made. One woman in a
time for your workout at the gym, a golf game, or a car tune-seminar shared this story: “I had just begun dating a man and up, you need to set aside time for romance and relaxation. A we were getting serious. We’d already slept together, but woman from a seminar said that “the one thing that keeps me never at his home. He was a very successful investment
falling in love with my husband again and again is his ability banker, who was always well groomed and wore nice
to romance me. It can be something as simple as taking me clothes. But when I went to his apartment for the first time, I into another room away from the kids and giving
that day. Yet when women lie down, a steady stream of to-do lists can still be crossing the billboard of her mind. Therefore, gentlemen, you need to help her decompress and become still if you want to Relaxation Is Key
arouse her later. The connection is very concrete and very clear: Unless a woman is relaxed in her mind, her body will not follow suit.
There is no getting around one simple fact: A typical woman will not And if her body isn’t relaxed, it won’t get excited.
get turned on if she isn’t relaxed. That said, as a partner to this activity, you are being challenged to get her in the mood. How can SECRET FROM LOU’S ARCHIVES
you help her relax? You’ll be happy (and perhaps relieved) to know Did you know the word “negligee” suggests that the woman that there are some tried-and-true ways to helping your partner wearing it should relax and refrain from housework? It comes loosen up so that she not only responds to you better but also enjoys from the Latin neglegere, “to neglect,” whose literal translation is herself more completely. As a forty-something physician told me, “I
“not to pick up.”
know I have to get my wife relaxed enough to get her turned on. If she can’t relax, I know nothing is going to happen. And that’s why I am king of foot massages.” Another seminar attendee, an architect IT’S ELEMENTARY
from Madison, Wisconsin, said that he draws his partner a hot bath, There are four essential elements to help a woman relax. Consider
“with her favorite lavender salts. If she gets one whiff as she walks these in no particular order:
through the door, I know she’s all mine.”
But most men (and women) will agree that though the physical ¾
effects of your method are important, the key to relaxing her is your Make her comfortable , mentally and physically.
¾
attitude. Quite simply, if she feels like you have gone out of your Minimize interruptions .
¾
way to treat her as special, she will respond.
Make the space and time , even if it is only ten minutes.
¾ Let her know you like her body .
SECRET FROM LOU’S ARCHIVES
1. Making her comfortable mentally and physically is about Relaxing can start twenty-four hours ahead of the game—in your providing a good, safe, and enjoyable environment for a
head.
sexual encounter. For instance, if you are not married and do not live together, try to make your bedroom a place that is And why is relaxing so important for women? Because women’s inviting for her. Does she have a corner of the room, perhaps brains can juggle ten things at a time, and usually, out of necessity, a drawer or a dresser where she can leave her toiletries or some clothes? If you are married or live together, make sure two sleeps it will be Saturday,’ which was our escape day.
that you pay attention to the state of your bedroom as well, We both cracked up.”
participating in keeping it tidy, putting away your clothes, or 3. Make the space and time by planning. Just as you set aside simply making sure the bed is made. One woman in a
time for your workout at the gym, a golf game, or a car tune-seminar shared this story: “I had just begun dating a man and up, you need to set aside time for romance and relaxation. A we were getting serious. We’d already slept together, but woman from a seminar said that “the one thing that keeps me never at his home. He was a very successful investment
falling in love with my husband again and again is his ability banker, who was always well groomed and wore nice
to romance me. It can be something as simple as taking me clothes. But when I went to his apartment for the first time, I into another room away from the kids and giving
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