Delphine cried out, and I closed my eyes, concentrating.
But I didn’t have any control to stop, calm, or gather myself.
Crane.
Russ.
I was so glad Russ wasn’t hurt, and even though I didn’t understand his reasoning, I wanted him to have the choice of what to do, not have Logan or Miguel Garza decide. But more than anything, I wanted to see my best friend. I needed to see Crane.
I wanted to see Crane.
“Jin!”
I looked up at Delphine, saw the pain in her eyes as she went to her knees.
“Jin.” Russ gagged before he dropped to the floor at my feet.
His loss of control fed my desire to punish those who had taken him. At once I understood the true size of my ego. What in God’s name made me think that I could travel by myself with just Delphine in the state I was in? Why hadn’t I called Logan or Mikhail? Why hadn’t I reached out to Justin Cho, Logan’s friend and the semel of San Francisco, who probably knew the semel of Los Angeles well? And why, ever, would I go anywhere without an escort? I was the mate of a semel; I didn’t leave home without bodyguards. No mate of a tribe leader did that; it was considered unsafe, and you were inviting trouble. Why did I think I could or should simply because I was a man?
The truth was that I was furious at Logan and I had used his brother’s kidnapping as an excuse to leave. I was worried about Russ, but I also knew that they could not hurt him, not really, without first speaking to Logan. They could rough him up, as they had done, but that was all. And I knew that and I had gotten on a plane anyway. It was selfish and stupid because I had not only put myself in jeopardy but Delphine as well.
“Reah!”
I could be killed. Delphine and Russ could be killed, and no one would ever know because no one knew where any of us were. I was counting on archaic customs and observed ritual to keep us safe, and that was insane. I should have been home, waiting for word on Crane, waiting for word on Russ, not acting on impulse. I was the mate of a semel; I needed to comport myself in that manner. What had I been thinking?
“Reah!”
The scream tore me from my thoughts. When I turned to look for the man who had let loose the blood-curdling sound, I realized that Blake Dempsey and I were the sole humans in the room. Everyone else—Delphine, Russ, Tony, Liza, and all the rest of the men, including Dennis Jennings, the manu—were cats. I was surrounded by panthers.
I took a breath and everyone in the room, including the maahes, collapsed. A wave of guilt washed over me as I looked at the cats sprawled on the floor, panting, some throwing up, others lying curled in balls, shivering with the aftershocks of my power surging through them. I had no idea what apology I could make, what excuse would even be accepted.
“That was obscene.”
I turned my head to look at Blake Dempsey.
There was a stain on his pants: he had come in them, and where he had ejaculated was clearly, glaringly visible. I gave him a lot of credit for standing there, eyes locked on mine, swallowing his humiliation down as he stared at me with burning eyes.
“I’m so sorry.” I choked on the words because it hurt to say as much as it hurt for him to hear.
“Fuck you and your power, reah,” he roared at me, furious. “I will not suffer this insult; you cannot strip us of our humanity on a whim!”
“No,” I pleaded, motioning to Delphine, who lay panting on her side on the floor, and then to Russ, who was heaving and retching, bringing up nothing, his body simply spasming with the need to try. “I didn’t do it on purpose, why would I?”
Only seeing Delphine and Russ there, suffering the same fate as the others, both in their panther forms, cut through the veil of his rage. It made no sense that I would want to hurt members of my own tribe.
“You will come with me to see my semel, and he will determine what apology is to be made.”
“Agreed.” I nodded, wanting to say, or do, something
But I didn’t have any control to stop, calm, or gather myself.
Crane.
Russ.
I was so glad Russ wasn’t hurt, and even though I didn’t understand his reasoning, I wanted him to have the choice of what to do, not have Logan or Miguel Garza decide. But more than anything, I wanted to see my best friend. I needed to see Crane.
I wanted to see Crane.
“Jin!”
I looked up at Delphine, saw the pain in her eyes as she went to her knees.
“Jin.” Russ gagged before he dropped to the floor at my feet.
His loss of control fed my desire to punish those who had taken him. At once I understood the true size of my ego. What in God’s name made me think that I could travel by myself with just Delphine in the state I was in? Why hadn’t I called Logan or Mikhail? Why hadn’t I reached out to Justin Cho, Logan’s friend and the semel of San Francisco, who probably knew the semel of Los Angeles well? And why, ever, would I go anywhere without an escort? I was the mate of a semel; I didn’t leave home without bodyguards. No mate of a tribe leader did that; it was considered unsafe, and you were inviting trouble. Why did I think I could or should simply because I was a man?
The truth was that I was furious at Logan and I had used his brother’s kidnapping as an excuse to leave. I was worried about Russ, but I also knew that they could not hurt him, not really, without first speaking to Logan. They could rough him up, as they had done, but that was all. And I knew that and I had gotten on a plane anyway. It was selfish and stupid because I had not only put myself in jeopardy but Delphine as well.
“Reah!”
I could be killed. Delphine and Russ could be killed, and no one would ever know because no one knew where any of us were. I was counting on archaic customs and observed ritual to keep us safe, and that was insane. I should have been home, waiting for word on Crane, waiting for word on Russ, not acting on impulse. I was the mate of a semel; I needed to comport myself in that manner. What had I been thinking?
“Reah!”
The scream tore me from my thoughts. When I turned to look for the man who had let loose the blood-curdling sound, I realized that Blake Dempsey and I were the sole humans in the room. Everyone else—Delphine, Russ, Tony, Liza, and all the rest of the men, including Dennis Jennings, the manu—were cats. I was surrounded by panthers.
I took a breath and everyone in the room, including the maahes, collapsed. A wave of guilt washed over me as I looked at the cats sprawled on the floor, panting, some throwing up, others lying curled in balls, shivering with the aftershocks of my power surging through them. I had no idea what apology I could make, what excuse would even be accepted.
“That was obscene.”
I turned my head to look at Blake Dempsey.
There was a stain on his pants: he had come in them, and where he had ejaculated was clearly, glaringly visible. I gave him a lot of credit for standing there, eyes locked on mine, swallowing his humiliation down as he stared at me with burning eyes.
“I’m so sorry.” I choked on the words because it hurt to say as much as it hurt for him to hear.
“Fuck you and your power, reah,” he roared at me, furious. “I will not suffer this insult; you cannot strip us of our humanity on a whim!”
“No,” I pleaded, motioning to Delphine, who lay panting on her side on the floor, and then to Russ, who was heaving and retching, bringing up nothing, his body simply spasming with the need to try. “I didn’t do it on purpose, why would I?”
Only seeing Delphine and Russ there, suffering the same fate as the others, both in their panther forms, cut through the veil of his rage. It made no sense that I would want to hurt members of my own tribe.
“You will come with me to see my semel, and he will determine what apology is to be made.”
“Agreed.” I nodded, wanting to say, or do, something
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