probably wishing he had the same options she had. The least she could do was to continue. No matter how difficult the path before her was, she’d get through it, for both their sakes. He might be farther down the trail than she was, but she’d catch up quickly, and maybe they could discover their individual paths together.
It was as if she stood at the edge of a cold mountain pool, where the water sparkled like diamonds in the clear morning sun. Fear clawed at her; her lungs seized with the knowledge that if she jumped, the water would engulf her, stealing the heat from her body. She wasn’t surehow to prepare for the cold, harsh reality of how to move forward with her life. Still, it was time to take the plunge.
“My future.” She said the words aloud and hated the quaver in her voice. Not good enough. She was going to attack her future with courage and she needed to believe that. “My future.” There. She was loud and clear and sounded strong. She took a deep breath and mentally jumped. Envisioning a picture of her perfect life. A chill traveled the length of her spine. For as long as she could remember, every vision of her future had included David.
She wished for mental scissors so she could cut David out of every picture she’d imagined. Her wedding day—she ripped off the figure of David standing beside her and had no image with which to replace him. No standin. No idea of what kind of man she’d look for or even if she’d ever consider marriage again.
She wanted a family, of that she was certain. And when she thought of the word
family
, she pictured a traditional one. So, yes, she’d like to marry eventually, but she moved that picture far into the future. In order to marry, she’d have to date. God, she’d have to start all over, and she hadn’t dated since spin the bottle was in vogue. How did one even date now?
She’d seen her single friends struggle in the dating pool and had always felt lucky, smug even, certain in the knowledge that she’d never have their problems. After all, she and David had been the perfect couple—or so she’d thought. They’d never even fought. She wondered if that had been a good thing. Had she just gone along with what he wanted in order to get along? Always looking at her future as part of a team instead of going after what she’d wanted for herself.
Had she abdicated her goals for what she thoughtwere their shared goals, only to discover she was the only one doing the abdicating? She had. She’d done everything for the greater good, which, she now realized, translated into David’s good.
She sat on a rock, the cold seeping through the seat of her jeans. Great. These lightbulb moments just wouldn’t stop. They were coming so fast, it felt as if she were in a dark room with a strobe light flashing on a picture long enough to highlight a relationship problem and reveal her lack of a backbone and her apparent malleability. She shook her head to clear the image. She’d have to think about past mistakes later. Right now, she would look to her future.
The first thing she needed was a job. She could look for available office space in town to start her therapy practice. She was free of the constraints of David’s list of things they must achieve before returning to Harmony. That was a positive. She could do what she’d always wanted to do; she just needed to be able to make enough money to live on while she got the practice up and running. She should look into the feasibility of taking out a small-business loan. She didn’t know anything about the Small Business Administration and the loans available to small businesses, contracting with insurance carriers, advertising, or anything of the sort, but she was smart and she could learn. She’d never taken any business courses because she thought David would handle that side of the practice. That wasn’t her brightest move, but she would figure it out.
She hoped to avoid moving back in with her parents, if at
It was as if she stood at the edge of a cold mountain pool, where the water sparkled like diamonds in the clear morning sun. Fear clawed at her; her lungs seized with the knowledge that if she jumped, the water would engulf her, stealing the heat from her body. She wasn’t surehow to prepare for the cold, harsh reality of how to move forward with her life. Still, it was time to take the plunge.
“My future.” She said the words aloud and hated the quaver in her voice. Not good enough. She was going to attack her future with courage and she needed to believe that. “My future.” There. She was loud and clear and sounded strong. She took a deep breath and mentally jumped. Envisioning a picture of her perfect life. A chill traveled the length of her spine. For as long as she could remember, every vision of her future had included David.
She wished for mental scissors so she could cut David out of every picture she’d imagined. Her wedding day—she ripped off the figure of David standing beside her and had no image with which to replace him. No standin. No idea of what kind of man she’d look for or even if she’d ever consider marriage again.
She wanted a family, of that she was certain. And when she thought of the word
family
, she pictured a traditional one. So, yes, she’d like to marry eventually, but she moved that picture far into the future. In order to marry, she’d have to date. God, she’d have to start all over, and she hadn’t dated since spin the bottle was in vogue. How did one even date now?
She’d seen her single friends struggle in the dating pool and had always felt lucky, smug even, certain in the knowledge that she’d never have their problems. After all, she and David had been the perfect couple—or so she’d thought. They’d never even fought. She wondered if that had been a good thing. Had she just gone along with what he wanted in order to get along? Always looking at her future as part of a team instead of going after what she’d wanted for herself.
Had she abdicated her goals for what she thoughtwere their shared goals, only to discover she was the only one doing the abdicating? She had. She’d done everything for the greater good, which, she now realized, translated into David’s good.
She sat on a rock, the cold seeping through the seat of her jeans. Great. These lightbulb moments just wouldn’t stop. They were coming so fast, it felt as if she were in a dark room with a strobe light flashing on a picture long enough to highlight a relationship problem and reveal her lack of a backbone and her apparent malleability. She shook her head to clear the image. She’d have to think about past mistakes later. Right now, she would look to her future.
The first thing she needed was a job. She could look for available office space in town to start her therapy practice. She was free of the constraints of David’s list of things they must achieve before returning to Harmony. That was a positive. She could do what she’d always wanted to do; she just needed to be able to make enough money to live on while she got the practice up and running. She should look into the feasibility of taking out a small-business loan. She didn’t know anything about the Small Business Administration and the loans available to small businesses, contracting with insurance carriers, advertising, or anything of the sort, but she was smart and she could learn. She’d never taken any business courses because she thought David would handle that side of the practice. That wasn’t her brightest move, but she would figure it out.
She hoped to avoid moving back in with her parents, if at
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