awarenessâthe sharp reek of rubber and road, the sound of her friends laughing, the rhythm of Second Wind poundingfrom the stereo, the crash of blood in her ears when the Jeepâs four wheels left the pavement.
The vehicle flew higher than they had ever gone before. She knew it. She knew this launch was different when Dig pounded his knees and yelled, âAwriiight!â And when Kathy whispered, âIâm scaredâ and when Lila saw the sky begin to spin. And when Heath gripped the steering wheel and said, âOh, shit.â
Something was wrong, bad wrong. The knowledge flashed through everyone like an electric current, swift and shocking. Lila opened her mouth, but she didnât know if she was screaming or not. Her hands flailed, then she clutched at the armrest. Someoneâsâeveryoneâsâscreams filled the Jeep, the night, the world, the universe.
Time slowed and the car seem to float, suspended by terror and wishful thinking, and by prayers dredged up from Sunday school, over the road that wasnât there anymore.
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It was over in the time it took to blink. Somehow, theyâd taken off at a crazy angle, and there was no way they could land on the road. The Jeep crushed down to the ground, veering out of control, the windshield popping out like a contact lens. The car bounced and then rolled, and it was like the time Lila went kayaking on the Guadalupe River, and learned to roll the kayak, hanging upside-down underwater, so close to drowning that she saw stars until her mother had rescued her, hauling her to the surface by the scruff of the neck.
But there was no one to rescue her now. She was drowning in unspeakable pain, screaming pain, and the Jeep simply wouldnât stop rolling, kicking up a storm of caliche dust and tumbleweeds. Lila heard screaming and crying and oh God oh shit from the othersâfrom Heath, from Kathy who was so scared and from Dig who thought all of life was such a joke.Someone flew out of the carâshe couldnât tell whoâand bounced like a rubber ball and disappeared. A lifetime flashed by before the Jeep finally shuddered to a stop like a dying dinosaur. Pain and fear and prayers pulsed with the music from the stereo, which played on as though nothing had happened.
The song ended and the DJ gave a rundown of the weather at the top of the hour. Lila wondered what hour. Thoughts drifted past and swam away from her like little colorful fish in an aquarium. She heard crying unlike anything sheâd ever heard before. A thin, keening wail, not quite human. The sound of a creature in unspeakable agony, begging to be released from its misery. Her eyes were full of dust and grit, crushed glass and blood.
A beer commercial burbled from the radio: Hereâs to good friendsâ¦make it a Michelob moment⦠She smelled piss and shit and wondered if it was her and sort of hoped it was, because at least that would mean she was alive.
Lone Star Ford puts you in the driverâs seatâ¦
Move. She had to move somehow. She realized then that she was upside-down, hanging, held in place by the seat belt cutting into her. She swiveled her head, and pain burned like wildfire. The milk-white moon threw streams of light through the spiderweb cracks of the passenger-side window. The glove box hung open, having disgorged its contents, and a small lightbulb glowed within.
Heath. She couldnât see his face. It was turned from her, and his shoulder was jammed against the steering wheel. His silky blond hair looked like liquid gold. His hand hung limp and was flecked with dark spots. Blood.
Lila shut her eyes. Why was I mean to Scottie? Rude to Dad? Why didnât I keep my room clean? Please God, Iâll do all those things, Iâll be perfect if you just make this not be happening.
âIâm scaredâ¦â The tiny whisper came from somewhere else in the car.
The engine was still running and Lila could smell gasoline
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