Read Online Hollywood Ever After by Sasha Summers - Free Book Online Page B
Authors: Sasha Summers
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might be cathartic, to share with a neutral third party. What things?” he repeated, his eyes sliding over my face.
“I might have been supermom, but I was a rotten wife. Daniel, my ex-husband, got lonely. Things got terribly off-track.” I spoke the words with as little inflection as possible, hoping to wrap this whole practice conversation up soon.
“Is that a nice way of saying he started shagging someone else?” His other hand went through his hair, leaving it standing on end. He asked, “Because you were a better mum than wife? Did he say that? Is that what you think?”
I sighed, shrugging and waving my hands in frustration. “I wasn’t there for him, Josh. Long before he turned to her, I’d let him down.” It was the first time I’d actually admitted that to myself, let alone to anyone else.
He was watching me. “Did his affair make things better?” He spoke softly. “God. I’m sorry. That was unkind.”
“Let’s just say no one was innocent in the end. The process of ending a marriage is slow, and I worry so much about what’s the right thing for the kids. I’ve stayed put partly for stability’s sake—and partly because I’m not sure where we’d go.” Again, the words that came out were probably always there, but it was the first time I’d let them out.
“Where does that leave you, then?”
“That’s what I was considering when you joined me.” I shrugged. “Totally adrift.”
“I see the need for your compass now.” His voice was teasing, but his eyes were intense.
I smiled at him. “Maybe I should get one.”
“What are your options?” He paused. “Wait, start with this. What do you want?”
“No idea.” And that was true. I pulled my legs up and rested my chin on my knees, regarding him from the corner of my eye before turning my attention to the blue ocean before us. “There are things I love to do—writing and painting. But I’m realistic enough to know that it would be next to impossible to find a way to support us through either avenue.”
“Realism is overrated, Claire. Don’t dismiss your dreams. That is the worst possible thing imaginable.” He was thoughtful for a minute. “You’re an artist?”
“I don’t know if I’d go that far. I’ve done some murals, taught art at the Community Center…”
“I’d like to see your work sometime. Passionate people can be exceptionally gifted.” His eyes fell to my lips as he spoke, making me swallow.
I took a deep breath before I spoke again. “Is all of my self-analysis going to make you late to something else?” I wasn’t going to talk about this anymore.
Josh smiled widely, his eyes crinkling. “That wasn’t a very subtle change of subject, you know.”
“That will be my next conversation lesson: using tact to change the topic of discussion.”
His eyes were warm as he scooted toward me. He wrapped an arm around me and pulled me against his side. “I’ve no place else I want to be.” He sighed then dropped a kiss onto the top of my head. We sat in comfortable silence, listening to the sounds of the beach. I let my head fall onto his shoulder and felt his fingers brushing up and down my arm. I was surprised at how comfortable this—he—felt.
His voice was soft as he asked, “Didn’t Shannon mention something about a job?”
I was unaware that he’d been listening to that conversation. Or that he was still mulling things over. “I’m not sure she was serious.”
“Hm. We should find out.”
Something about the we made me tense a bit. Out of fear? Or hope? I shook it off and said, “How was your meeting? Were you in trouble for running late?”
An ancient man and his equally ancient black Labrador went walking briskly by us then. I smiled at him. He smiled as he walked by then circled back without breaking his stride. He stopped in front of us with a well-weathered smile.
“Would you like me to take your picture?” the man asked, reaching for the camera in my hands.
“Oh
“I might have been supermom, but I was a rotten wife. Daniel, my ex-husband, got lonely. Things got terribly off-track.” I spoke the words with as little inflection as possible, hoping to wrap this whole practice conversation up soon.
“Is that a nice way of saying he started shagging someone else?” His other hand went through his hair, leaving it standing on end. He asked, “Because you were a better mum than wife? Did he say that? Is that what you think?”
I sighed, shrugging and waving my hands in frustration. “I wasn’t there for him, Josh. Long before he turned to her, I’d let him down.” It was the first time I’d actually admitted that to myself, let alone to anyone else.
He was watching me. “Did his affair make things better?” He spoke softly. “God. I’m sorry. That was unkind.”
“Let’s just say no one was innocent in the end. The process of ending a marriage is slow, and I worry so much about what’s the right thing for the kids. I’ve stayed put partly for stability’s sake—and partly because I’m not sure where we’d go.” Again, the words that came out were probably always there, but it was the first time I’d let them out.
“Where does that leave you, then?”
“That’s what I was considering when you joined me.” I shrugged. “Totally adrift.”
“I see the need for your compass now.” His voice was teasing, but his eyes were intense.
I smiled at him. “Maybe I should get one.”
“What are your options?” He paused. “Wait, start with this. What do you want?”
“No idea.” And that was true. I pulled my legs up and rested my chin on my knees, regarding him from the corner of my eye before turning my attention to the blue ocean before us. “There are things I love to do—writing and painting. But I’m realistic enough to know that it would be next to impossible to find a way to support us through either avenue.”
“Realism is overrated, Claire. Don’t dismiss your dreams. That is the worst possible thing imaginable.” He was thoughtful for a minute. “You’re an artist?”
“I don’t know if I’d go that far. I’ve done some murals, taught art at the Community Center…”
“I’d like to see your work sometime. Passionate people can be exceptionally gifted.” His eyes fell to my lips as he spoke, making me swallow.
I took a deep breath before I spoke again. “Is all of my self-analysis going to make you late to something else?” I wasn’t going to talk about this anymore.
Josh smiled widely, his eyes crinkling. “That wasn’t a very subtle change of subject, you know.”
“That will be my next conversation lesson: using tact to change the topic of discussion.”
His eyes were warm as he scooted toward me. He wrapped an arm around me and pulled me against his side. “I’ve no place else I want to be.” He sighed then dropped a kiss onto the top of my head. We sat in comfortable silence, listening to the sounds of the beach. I let my head fall onto his shoulder and felt his fingers brushing up and down my arm. I was surprised at how comfortable this—he—felt.
His voice was soft as he asked, “Didn’t Shannon mention something about a job?”
I was unaware that he’d been listening to that conversation. Or that he was still mulling things over. “I’m not sure she was serious.”
“Hm. We should find out.”
Something about the we made me tense a bit. Out of fear? Or hope? I shook it off and said, “How was your meeting? Were you in trouble for running late?”
An ancient man and his equally ancient black Labrador went walking briskly by us then. I smiled at him. He smiled as he walked by then circled back without breaking his stride. He stopped in front of us with a well-weathered smile.
“Would you like me to take your picture?” the man asked, reaching for the camera in my hands.
“Oh
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