situation he’s been in that’s like this.”
“He got involved with Melissa, who’s actually always been in
love with Patrick. She wanted to get married and have a father for her kid, and
Patrick was in love with someone else, so she seduced Ed.”
“I’ve met Melissa,” he said. “I can see the appeal.”
“But she’s all wrong for Ed, and didn’t love him.”
“I have to speak up for the rest of my brethren to say Ed is
not the first man to be blinded by lust, nor will he be the last.”
“He knew it was not going to work out but did it anyway
because it was what she wanted.”
“Poor old Ed, at the mercy of the wicked womanly wiles of
your underhanded gender.”
“He’s kind of naïve.”
“I think you’ve got it all wrong,” Laurie said. “Ed’s not
stupid, he’s just human. It’s you who always thinks the worst of everyone.”
“I do not,” she said.
“Ah, but you do,” he said. “I’ve done nothing to deserve the
continual mistreatment you dish out, and yet, you cannot stop lambasting me
with your bitter misgivings.”
“Because you’re an alcoholic in denial,” she said. “Being in
a relationship with an addict is like watching a slow motion suicide.”
“Dammit, woman,” Laurie said. “I demand that you be married
to me for at least two years before you speak to me like that.”
“It’s true,” she said. “Don’t deny it. It’s like your
self-destruct button is stuck in the on position.”
“What you need are more drinks,” Laurie said. “You’ll like
me much better in a little while; just wait and see.”
They continued talking, and Claire continued drinking. When
Patrick called time at 1:30, Claire was feeling more than a little
fuzzy-headed. Parts of her were actually numb; not the lusty, romantic parts,
but for sure the thinking clearly parts.
“Why was I mad at you again?” she asked Laurie.
“You aren’t mad at me,” he said. “You’re mad at yourself for
liking me so much but being so mean to me.”
“That sounds true,” she said. “I do like you and I can be
mean.”
“I knew it was just a matter of a few more shots,” he said.
“Now we’re friends again.”
Patrick picked up their glasses and wiped the table.
“Time to go, folks,” he said. “Unless you’re helping me
mop.”
“Nope, not tonight,” Claire said.
She attempted to stand but the room whirled.
“Whoa, there, young lady,” Laurie said. “I think you need to
get home to bed.”
“If you wait around I’ll walk you home,” Patrick said to
Claire.
“I’ll take her,” Laurie said.
“All right,” Patrick said. “You know she’s my cousin,
right?”
“And her pop’s a cop,” Laurie said. “Don’t worry; I’ll see
that she comes to no harm.”
“I don’t want to go home,” Claire said to Laurie.
“Fine with me,” Laurie said.
When Claire awoke, through one squinted eye she could detect
that she was not in her own bed, and upon opening the other eye, which had a
hard time coordinating with the first, she ascertained she was not in her
parents’ house. Upon further investigation, she found she was not wearing her
own clothes, nor, as it turned out, anyone else’s.
She attempted to turn her head, which felt as if someone
inside it was using a sledge hammer to try to escape. Very carefully, she
turned over, and found Laurie sleeping next to her.
“Oh, crap,” she croaked.
The digital alarm clock on his bedside table displayed 7:15
a.m.
“Oh, no,” she said
She slithered out of bed and landed on the floor with a
thump.
She used the edge of the night table to get to her feet. Steadying
herself against the wall, she wobbled over to the bedroom door, took a flannel
robe off a hook, and put it on.
“Good morning,” Laurie said.
Claire felt the contents of her stomach rise, but thankfully
made it to the bathroom before everything exited the way it had come in.
Seated on the cool tile floor with the commode lid as a
headrest,
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