Read Online Hold on My Heart by Tracy Brogan - Free Book Online Page B

say that?”
    “Because it’s true. Connie would be alive if it weren’t for me.”
    “That’s a pretty emotional answer. Is that what you believe intellectually? That Connie’s death was somehow your fault?”
    “It was entirely my fault. I was driving.”
    “Have you been in other accidents?”
    “No.”
    “So, would you say you are typically a cautious driver?”
    A sour taste sprang up in the back of his throat. He hated talking about the accident, hated reliving it. It was such a waste of time.
    “Look, I get what you’re trying to do here. And I appreciate it. I understand it was an accident, but if I’d had control of the car, Connie would still be here and Rachel would still have her mother.”
    Dr. Brandt leaned forward. “And you wouldn’t be left all alone, and feeling guilty for staring at an attractive woman’s breasts.”
    A vision of Libby sitting on the floor of the ice-cream parlor earlier that day popped into his head. She’d had cupcakes on her T-shirt. Little pink and purple sparkly cupcakes dancing right across her breasts. And all he could think of, every time he looked at her during the whole damn day, was licking off the frosting.
    “Maybe.”
    Dr. Brandt leaned back again and crossed her arms. “Would it help if I said what you’re feeling is normal and appropriate?”
    “Not really.”
    “Well, it is. In a way, you take comfort in believing that you caused the accident, because then you have someone to blame. We all like to think we have some control over our destinies, so random events can be distressing. But now you need to decide. You can choose to stay stuck in this moment, live inside that fear and regret, and keep Rachel there with you, or you can be a mature adult, and a good father, by teaching her it’s not the obstacles in our life that define us. It’s the grace we display when overcoming them.”
    He didn’t like Dr. Brandt very much in that moment. He couldn’t tell if she was absolving him of guilt or calling him immature. Or both.
    He looked once more into the park. The mommies were loading up their children into strollers. It was time to go home.
    “I’m not sure how to do what you’re asking,” he finally said.
    “I know,” she said, smiling. “But I think you’re ready to figure it out.”



CHAPTER
seven
    “T here is no way in hell I’m going to wear this, Marti. It’s heavy and it stinks.” Libby pulled at the garnet-colored velvet currently trussed around her midsection as she stood on a wobbly stool in the middle of A Royale Affaire Costume Shoppe and Medieval Armory wearing her little sister’s farcical idea of a bridesmaid dress.
    “And it’s ridiculous,” Ginny added from her spot on a tapestry-covered chair.
    “I thought we were going to lunch,” Nana said from her spot on the green velvet love seat. She was trying to button her cardigan sweater, which she wore in spite of the broiling temperature inside the cramped, tiny store.
    Libby’s mother reached over and fixed the button. “We are going out to lunch, Nana, but first we have to look at these dresses for Marti’s… wedding.” Libby could see her mother having to push out that last word. Her parents were still not in favor of this impending marriage, but there wasn’t much they could do to stop it. Marti was a consenting adult, after all.
    By legal standards, anyway.
    A tall, reed-thin saleswoman with a tight black bun tugged brusquely on the laces in the back of Libby’s dress, nearly knocking her off the stool. The threat was implied:
Stop complaining, or I’ll hurt you.
    “Oh, relax, Libby. This is just a sample,” Marti assured her. “The one you buy will be custom-made so it will only stink if you sweat it up.”
    “How can I not sweat it up? I’m hauling around two hundred yards of theater curtain. I’m wearing upholstery.” She tried to lift the skirt as the salesclerk glowered.
    Marti glowered, too. “Look, I already agreed to postpone my wedding until