Read Online Hold Me in Contempt by Wendy Williams - Free Book Online Page B

glass hole in the door.
    â€œI know.”
    â€œSo?”
    â€œYou’re going to make me stand out here forever? Come on, Kim. I just want to talk.”
    Against my better judgment and probably for a few reasons I couldn’t admit, I undid the three locks, removed the doorstop, and let Paul in.
    â€œDamn, you got cold on a brother fast,” he said, walking in and reaching for me.
    I pushed him away and walked into the living room.
    â€œWhat do you want, Paul?” I asked. I folded my arms over my chest and planted my feet firmly on the floor to let him know he was not staying. “I’m sure the DA of New York County has more to do than make uninvited house calls.”
    â€œI’ll start with a seat,” he joked, and sat down on the couch without an invitation. “Maybe a little wine.”
    â€œFresh out of wine,” I said. “And now I wish I didn’t have a couch.”
    â€œKiki Mimi! You mad? Why you so mad?”
    â€œDon’t call me that. I told you not to call me that. That’s only for family.”
    â€œI’m like family.”
    â€œNo, you have a family. In Westchester. With your wife. Kids. The golden retriever. Remember?”
    Paul exhaled dramatically and threw his head back to rest it against the couch. He was still in his work clothes, but his tie was missing and his shirt was unbuttoned. From four feet away, I could smell his cologne.
    I never meant for anything to happen with Paul. When Ronald and I broke up after the accident, I was in the hospital for weeks and Paul came by a few times just to check on me. When I was released from the hospital, he continued to text me to send me well wishes and keep me updated on my cases. I thought it was kind, thoughtful, but when I told Tamika about it, she laughed in my face and told me we were setting a “thing” up. “He’s fine as hell. You know what you’re doing. Just be a big girl and admit it,” she said. I denied it, but then everything became too clear. His visits and flowers, the texts way after office hours and updates I was already getting from Carol—he was coming on to me.
    When I went back to work, I decided that there was no way I was going to be involved in a workplace affair—with my boss. It could ruin him. It could ruin me. He was separated but still married and had two kids . . .  ​and that golden retriever. I couldn’t get involved in all of that. Still, Tamika was right. Paul had that Blair Underwood mystique. Almond skin and sophisticated eyes that were so dark they looked black. He had perfect teeth and clean nails. His style was impeccable and his body was solid—even with his clothes on. And he always smelled so complex—rich sweet and dark spicy.
    I fought off my attraction for him for a few months. Ignored his texts. I even went out on a couple of dates, and as Tamika instructed me to in hopes that I’d get over Ronald, I got my “feet wet” a few times. But nothing seemed to satisfy me. Through so many botched and just plain awkward love affairs, I was learning fast that contrary to popular belief, not all men are created equal. Some were soft, some were little, most were wack, and the others couldn’t even get it up. So I’m clear: I’m talking about penises.
    I don’t want to make it sound like I was out there looking for nothing but a great fuck. That was far from the truth. Like anyone else, I wanted love. I wanted to find my mate. And sometimes I came close. I met some great guys, but no matter how strong the connection was, once we got into that bedroom and the private parts were released and I had to check for the motion in the ocean, if things weren’t right with my body, everything went wrong with my mind. I’d go from seeing the same man every day to ignoring his calls and rolling my eyes when he spoke. It was hard to explain. I didn’t understand it myself,