Read Online His Secret Child by Beverly Barton - Free Book Online Page A
Authors: Beverly Barton
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what happened, but I swear to you, Sheila, I never meant to hurt you."
"So you said, the very next morning. And I believed you. But pardon me if I'm not interested in getting my heart broken a second time by a guy who's just passing through town on his way to the rest of his life."
She shoved back the chair, jumped up and walked away from him, practically running out the side door that led to the fenced area where they parked the junked cars. Why had she brought up the past? Why couldn't she have just played his silly little game, brushed him off and laughed about it later? Good heavens, she'd all but told the man she was still in love with him.
The April noontime sun was warm and bright, heating her skin through her cotton knit shirt and faded jeans. Pressing her forehead to the wooden fence, she closed her eyes and prayed that Caleb had left. She didn't want to face him so soon after her emotional confession.
His big left hand came down on her shoulder, squeezing gently. She trembled from head to toe. Her body tensed at his touch.
"I was an eighteen-year-old kid," he said quietly. "I thought with my pecker and not my head, like most boys that age. I can make all kinds of excuses for why I made love to you that night. Like I'd had too much to drink and I was high on life. I'd just graduated from high school. I had a baseball scholarship. And I was grateful to you for helping me make my dream come true."
"And you had sex with me out of gratitude? Is that what you're trying to say? 'I'll give poor ole, plain Sheila a little thank-you sex and she'll be grateful to me for the rest of her life.'" The anger that had lain dormant in her for twelve years rose to the surface and erupted in a massive outburst. Balling her hands into fists, she turned to face him. "Damn you, Caleb Bishop! You have no idea how much your little thank-you cost me!"
He tightened his hold on her shoulder when she struggled to escape. "It cost you your virginity and I really am sorry about that, especially if it mattered to Dan that there had been somebody before him. And I'm sorry, too, if I broke your heart. I guess I knew, after that night, how you really felt about me, but … I … well, I—"
"But you didn't love me. And you didn't want me. And you had your whole life mapped out. First to make a name for yourself in college baseball and then to go to the major leagues. I didn't figure into your life at all and—and I knew that."
"I guess I didn't realize you still hadn't forgiven me for what happened." Caleb lifted his hand and tenderly caressed her cheek. "I suppose I figured you'd gotten over me a long time ago, that after marrying Dan and having his child, what happened between us wouldn't mean much to you. Was I wrong, Sheila? Did you marry Dan Vance on the rebound? Did he know about me?"
Did Dan know about you, Caleb? Did he know that I loved you? That you'd been my first lover? Of course he knew! How could he not know? I was pregnant with your child when he married me.
Sheila smiled, then laughed. Caleb stepped away and stared at her. She tossed back her head and took a deep breath, all the while chuckling to herself as if amused by some private joke.
"Yes, he knew about you," she said. "Daniel and I didn't have any secrets. He was a good man. A very good man. And he was a wonderful father. He loved Danny more than anything on earth. He had always wanted a child, but he and his first wife didn't have any."
Standing straight and tall, she lifted her chin defiantly. "I haven't spent the past twelve years pining away for you, so don't think that I have. But I haven't forgotten how I felt when you …" She paused and looked directly at him. "When you went away and never came back. Never called. Never wrote. I don't want a repeat performance. I'm not emotionally equipped to handle a brief, meaningless affair today any more man I was equipped to handle a one-night stand twelve years ago."
"You think that's all I'm capable of, don't you?
"So you said, the very next morning. And I believed you. But pardon me if I'm not interested in getting my heart broken a second time by a guy who's just passing through town on his way to the rest of his life."
She shoved back the chair, jumped up and walked away from him, practically running out the side door that led to the fenced area where they parked the junked cars. Why had she brought up the past? Why couldn't she have just played his silly little game, brushed him off and laughed about it later? Good heavens, she'd all but told the man she was still in love with him.
The April noontime sun was warm and bright, heating her skin through her cotton knit shirt and faded jeans. Pressing her forehead to the wooden fence, she closed her eyes and prayed that Caleb had left. She didn't want to face him so soon after her emotional confession.
His big left hand came down on her shoulder, squeezing gently. She trembled from head to toe. Her body tensed at his touch.
"I was an eighteen-year-old kid," he said quietly. "I thought with my pecker and not my head, like most boys that age. I can make all kinds of excuses for why I made love to you that night. Like I'd had too much to drink and I was high on life. I'd just graduated from high school. I had a baseball scholarship. And I was grateful to you for helping me make my dream come true."
"And you had sex with me out of gratitude? Is that what you're trying to say? 'I'll give poor ole, plain Sheila a little thank-you sex and she'll be grateful to me for the rest of her life.'" The anger that had lain dormant in her for twelve years rose to the surface and erupted in a massive outburst. Balling her hands into fists, she turned to face him. "Damn you, Caleb Bishop! You have no idea how much your little thank-you cost me!"
He tightened his hold on her shoulder when she struggled to escape. "It cost you your virginity and I really am sorry about that, especially if it mattered to Dan that there had been somebody before him. And I'm sorry, too, if I broke your heart. I guess I knew, after that night, how you really felt about me, but … I … well, I—"
"But you didn't love me. And you didn't want me. And you had your whole life mapped out. First to make a name for yourself in college baseball and then to go to the major leagues. I didn't figure into your life at all and—and I knew that."
"I guess I didn't realize you still hadn't forgiven me for what happened." Caleb lifted his hand and tenderly caressed her cheek. "I suppose I figured you'd gotten over me a long time ago, that after marrying Dan and having his child, what happened between us wouldn't mean much to you. Was I wrong, Sheila? Did you marry Dan Vance on the rebound? Did he know about me?"
Did Dan know about you, Caleb? Did he know that I loved you? That you'd been my first lover? Of course he knew! How could he not know? I was pregnant with your child when he married me.
Sheila smiled, then laughed. Caleb stepped away and stared at her. She tossed back her head and took a deep breath, all the while chuckling to herself as if amused by some private joke.
"Yes, he knew about you," she said. "Daniel and I didn't have any secrets. He was a good man. A very good man. And he was a wonderful father. He loved Danny more than anything on earth. He had always wanted a child, but he and his first wife didn't have any."
Standing straight and tall, she lifted her chin defiantly. "I haven't spent the past twelve years pining away for you, so don't think that I have. But I haven't forgotten how I felt when you …" She paused and looked directly at him. "When you went away and never came back. Never called. Never wrote. I don't want a repeat performance. I'm not emotionally equipped to handle a brief, meaningless affair today any more man I was equipped to handle a one-night stand twelve years ago."
"You think that's all I'm capable of, don't you?
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