Read Online His One Desire by Kate Grey - Free Book Online Page A

you, right? But it might be good for you. I sure as hell know
it would be good for me.”
    She took a deep breath and tried to reclaim control of the
situation. “Fine, whatever. Go ahead and read for James. Do you need a scene
partner?”
    He shook his head. “No, the speech I have in mind is a monologue—the
one where he first tells Alicia how he feels about her. Just to give you a
sense of how I might do in the role.”
    She’d expected him to make an introductory speech, give them
some kind of lead in. But he just looked down at the script, flipped to the
page he was looking for, and started to read. His voice was quiet, thoughtful,
almost matter-of-fact.
    “I died more than fifty years ago. Even back then, I thought
the problem with our society was that we were too damn busy. And it’s a
thousand times worse now. People run around like ants, and why? For what?
    “Do you want to know the one advantage to being a ghost?
Time. I have time to read, time to watch sunsets. Time to float through walls,
which is a highly underrated activity. Time to think. Time to pay attention.
And in all those years, I’ve only found one person I thought was worth paying
attention to. That’s you, Alicia.
    “I watch you. Some days I watch you for hours. I know I
probably shouldn’t, but I can’t seem to help myself. You have this stillness
about you when you’re sitting and thinking, a stillness I hardly ever see in
the living.
    “When you’re reading a book you love, your emotions show on
your face. That happens when you’re playing the piano, too, or walking by
yourself. You’re much more guarded when you’re with people. When you were
younger, before you learned how to protect yourself, you said what you thought
and spoke from your heart—and sometimes people laughed at you. It hurt, and so
you don’t do that anymore.
    “I know you’re in love with Max, and it kills me. Of course
I understand why. He’s confident, he’s outgoing, he always knows what to say in
social situations. You’re drawn to him because things that are hard for you are
easy for him.
    “But he’ll never look into your heart. If you end up dating,
you’ll never be more than a sweet, pretty girl to him. If you end up married,
you’ll be the sweet, pretty girl he married. He’ll never look any further.
He’ll never know you to the roots of your soul. He’ll never see the vistas in
your mind, the visions that fill your consciousness until the only outlet is
your piano or your journal or your dreams.
    “I see all of that. I see it, and it makes me want you like
I’ve never wanted anything. I ache for you. I hunger for you. When I’m near
you, I feel alive again.
    “You know that book you loved when you were little? The
Velveteen Rabbit? Sometimes you’ll still pull it off the shelf and read it,
holding it carefully because it’s so old and worn. I used to think it was a
silly story. Childish and sentimental. But that was before I had ever loved
someone the way I love you. Before I knew that love does make us real.
    “Loving you is changing me, Alicia. I don’t know yet what
I’m becoming, but I feel myself letting go of what I was. I don’t know if I
have a place in this world, or in your life. All I ask is that you let me haunt
you once in a while.”
    Luke finished reading, and laid the script down on the
table. For a minute no one said a word.
    Kali’s skin prickled with goose bumps. She wrapped her arms
around her waist, hugging herself, and at the slight movement Luke turned his
head and looked at her.
    There was an ache in her throat and a stinging in her nose
as emotion tried to escape her body.
    It wasn’t just that he’d done an amazing job with that
speech. She was also remembering with a pang of loss the communion she’d felt
when they’d collaborated—at fourteen when they were at summer camp and then at
eighteen, when they’d worked on the senior play together. The times when she
wrote words and Luke brought them to