dwarves ticked and what their ways were. I'd got involved in something I didn't understand and it made me antsy.
The only thing I was sure of was that I was being used. But why, and how to get out of it, I had no idea.
As we followed our gruff young guide I whispered to Mithnite, "I can't believe you disobeyed me as soon as you had the chance."
"Aw, come on, you would have done the same."
"I would not, I..." I thought for a moment. "Okay, you're right, but that doesn't mean you should have done it. This is dangerous, very dangerous. Like, you might get killed in a nasty way, that kind of dangerous."
"That tunnel was wicked, though, wasn't it? I felt like I was flying. Were you scared? I was, a little, but then it was just fun."
"Damn, what is wrong with you? Aren't you worried about any of this?"
Mithnite shrugged. "I'm sure you'll handle it, you always do."
"Did you hear about Japan?"
His mood changed. "I heard."
"Then you know that I can't always handle things, that sometimes it all goes horribly wrong. I can't focus if I have to worry about you all the time."
"Don't stress about me. I'll be a great help, you'll see."
Oh boy, what had I let myself in for? Maybe I shouldn't have let him tag along at all, just taken him home and left him there. Although, he had cheered up somewhat, so that was something, I suppose.
Urrad remained silent and sullen, leading the way but dawdling even for a dwarf. I wanted to scream at him to hurry up, but any attempt at communication was met with a sullen stare and flick of the head. Definitely a teenager in attitude, if not in years. He made Mithnite seem like an old man.
On and on we walked, through endless cavernous spaces, past tunnels large and small, never once meeting another dwarf. It all felt wrong. My understanding was that there were countless dwarves, tens of millions of them beneath our country alone—forgetting about the realm thing—so they should have been everywhere. But it was silent, not even the sound of a distant hammer, or the echo of someone shouting, "Run, it's gonna blow." Nothing, just my winklepickers tapping against bare rock, Mithnite's pretty much endless chatter, and Urrad's shuffling.
It must have been hours later, through a dizzying array of turns and switchbacks, getting deeper and deeper underground as we progressed, that we finally stopped and Urrad grunted to a delicately carved recess in a wall where a seating area offered respite.
"Time to eat," he said.
"I forgot to bring a packed lunch, can we share?"
"They gave me food for you," Urrad said with scorn, like I was unable to make a sandwich. "But not for him." He pointed at Mithnite like he was a stray dog.
"He can split mine."
Urrad unhitched his huge backpack and dropped it with a thud to the ground. We stood, mesmerized, as he undid the buckles then began to unload what I'd assumed was to be a snack, but was probably about a week's worth of food to a human being.
Out it came. Sausages, cheese, bread that looked as appetizing as a rock—I'd heard all about dwarf bread. Trust me, don't go near it, you'll break your teeth—a whole chicken, a few other birds I had no idea what they were, strips of meat fresh and cured, fish, and on and on it went.
Once Urrad had finished unpacking he said, "Eat," and then got busy stuffing his face. We ate in silence, the only sounds the grunts of food being consumed, me finishing and feeling full after ten minutes, Mithnite valiantly forging ahead for thirty minutes, even trying, and failing to chew, the dwarf bread, Urrad going for at least an hour, no end to it in sight.
"How about we get to know each other a little"? I suggested, just so I didn't have to listen to him eat. There's nothing more annoying than the sound of somebody masticating when you aren't doing likewise. It's the absolute grossest thing ever.
"Whatever," he said, eyes focused on a large pork pie with his name written all over it. No, I'm not joking, that's how large it
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