hell.
8
I ’m not sure how long we travel underground. Time is suspended. It feels as though we’re trapped in the very belly of the earth. Will begins to slow. My eyes have become long accustomed to the darkness, but I still squint at him through the gritty haze of dust as he motions for me to stop.
“Wait here. I’ll be right back.”
I halt, waving an arm out at my side to keep the others from continuing. Will moves ahead, curving slightly until I lose sight of him in the billowing cloud of dirt.
Then it’s just us girls in the dark. I feel the breath of them around me, moist and rasping in the crackling dry air, earth particles floating like fairy dust all around us. I jump when I finally hear the sound of Will’s voice.
“C’mon! It’s clear!”
We eagerly move ahead, following the path he’s carved for us. I’m leading over the uneven ground and the first to see the light ahead. It’s like waking to sunlight. I blink and squint, shading my eyes with my hand. Through the press of ragged earth around us, I make out a jagged opening in the distance. Bits of roots and grass dangle around its edge.
I don’t see Will at all. He’s gone, and for a moment my chest feels tight, my heart fluttering with panic. Then his face is there, popping back inside through the opening that’s scarcely big enough to fit his shoulders. “It’s all clear. We’re not far from where we left the van.” He tosses some clothes at us. “Demanifest and get dressed.”
We comply. Miram, Tamra, and I slip on our clothes. I pass a sweatshirt and pants to Lia, pausing as I see her as a human for the first time. Enormous eyes, freckles, and a nose that upturns ever so slightly. She scarcely looks twelve. The apology is still there in her eyes, and I wish I could take her guilt away from her. She’s too young to feel such heavy responsibility. The burden of who lives and dies in an enkros cesspit shouldn’t be hers.
“Let’s go.” The three girls follow me as I squeeze to the surface. I squint like a mole emerging from its hole. The last of the day’s sunlight is fading, infusing the air with a red-gold hue. Motes dance on the fading beams. I drop on the ground, allowing my fingers to curl into the earth. I inhale a ragged breath of sweet, fresh air. Cassian . The thought of him, left behind, tears through me like a freshly opened wound.
I reach for Cassian inside myself, hoping to find him there, hoping he can sense me. Your sister is safe, Cassian. She’s okay. I’m okay .
I will him to know this, hoping to reassure him. Hoping to give him a reason to fight … to find a way back to us.
Then I feel him. Like a faint cry in the night, his relief comes to me, wraps around me like a warm wind.
“Jacinda.”
I glance up. Will stands at the back of the van, holding one door open and waving us over. His anxious expression reminds me we’re not out of this yet. I rise to my feet, reluctant to go even as I know we must. Leaving, somehow, feels like shutting the door forever on Cassian. Now I feel him, but I know from Mom that the more distance between us, the weaker our connection grows, and this makes my chest tighten with unease. Right now, the only thing I have left of him is our bond.
Will watches me, his gaze intent, and I know he guesses my thoughts. I feel guilty. And then annoyed. I hate that I can’t openly be broken up about leaving Cassian without worrying how that makes Will feel.
Tamra helps Miram to the van. I watch the girl as she clambers inside, reminded of an old woman.
Lia glances from Will to me, clearly hesitant, and I guess she senses the tension. Her gaze lingers on Will and I know she’s trying to figure him out—this non-draki with the draki talent to manipulate the earth.
“It’s all right. Get inside,” I say.
Then it’s just Will and me outside the van … and nothing feels “all right.”
I might have demanifested, but I still simmer beneath my skin. Cassian’s emotions
8
I ’m not sure how long we travel underground. Time is suspended. It feels as though we’re trapped in the very belly of the earth. Will begins to slow. My eyes have become long accustomed to the darkness, but I still squint at him through the gritty haze of dust as he motions for me to stop.
“Wait here. I’ll be right back.”
I halt, waving an arm out at my side to keep the others from continuing. Will moves ahead, curving slightly until I lose sight of him in the billowing cloud of dirt.
Then it’s just us girls in the dark. I feel the breath of them around me, moist and rasping in the crackling dry air, earth particles floating like fairy dust all around us. I jump when I finally hear the sound of Will’s voice.
“C’mon! It’s clear!”
We eagerly move ahead, following the path he’s carved for us. I’m leading over the uneven ground and the first to see the light ahead. It’s like waking to sunlight. I blink and squint, shading my eyes with my hand. Through the press of ragged earth around us, I make out a jagged opening in the distance. Bits of roots and grass dangle around its edge.
I don’t see Will at all. He’s gone, and for a moment my chest feels tight, my heart fluttering with panic. Then his face is there, popping back inside through the opening that’s scarcely big enough to fit his shoulders. “It’s all clear. We’re not far from where we left the van.” He tosses some clothes at us. “Demanifest and get dressed.”
We comply. Miram, Tamra, and I slip on our clothes. I pass a sweatshirt and pants to Lia, pausing as I see her as a human for the first time. Enormous eyes, freckles, and a nose that upturns ever so slightly. She scarcely looks twelve. The apology is still there in her eyes, and I wish I could take her guilt away from her. She’s too young to feel such heavy responsibility. The burden of who lives and dies in an enkros cesspit shouldn’t be hers.
“Let’s go.” The three girls follow me as I squeeze to the surface. I squint like a mole emerging from its hole. The last of the day’s sunlight is fading, infusing the air with a red-gold hue. Motes dance on the fading beams. I drop on the ground, allowing my fingers to curl into the earth. I inhale a ragged breath of sweet, fresh air. Cassian . The thought of him, left behind, tears through me like a freshly opened wound.
I reach for Cassian inside myself, hoping to find him there, hoping he can sense me. Your sister is safe, Cassian. She’s okay. I’m okay .
I will him to know this, hoping to reassure him. Hoping to give him a reason to fight … to find a way back to us.
Then I feel him. Like a faint cry in the night, his relief comes to me, wraps around me like a warm wind.
“Jacinda.”
I glance up. Will stands at the back of the van, holding one door open and waving us over. His anxious expression reminds me we’re not out of this yet. I rise to my feet, reluctant to go even as I know we must. Leaving, somehow, feels like shutting the door forever on Cassian. Now I feel him, but I know from Mom that the more distance between us, the weaker our connection grows, and this makes my chest tighten with unease. Right now, the only thing I have left of him is our bond.
Will watches me, his gaze intent, and I know he guesses my thoughts. I feel guilty. And then annoyed. I hate that I can’t openly be broken up about leaving Cassian without worrying how that makes Will feel.
Tamra helps Miram to the van. I watch the girl as she clambers inside, reminded of an old woman.
Lia glances from Will to me, clearly hesitant, and I guess she senses the tension. Her gaze lingers on Will and I know she’s trying to figure him out—this non-draki with the draki talent to manipulate the earth.
“It’s all right. Get inside,” I say.
Then it’s just Will and me outside the van … and nothing feels “all right.”
I might have demanifested, but I still simmer beneath my skin. Cassian’s emotions
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