Read Online Here Comes the Vampire by Kimberly Raye - Free Book Online Page B
Authors: Kimberly Raye
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your profile. Name, address, social security number, religious preference.”
“I said I didn’t have a religious preference.”
“Exactly. Which means you probably don’t go to church at all. Which means you probably watch football for lack of anything else to do on a Sunday. But then church is a great place to meet women, so it’s probably crossed your mind to trade in the football and head over to St. Marys because that, according to your address, is the closest church to you.” Or so I hoped.
He eyeballed me. “Are you one of them psychotics?” he asked after a long moment.
“I beg your pardon?”
“You know, one of them people who can see into a person’s head and tell them where it is they lost their wedding ring or where they put their eyeglasses or who’s going to win the Super Bowl.”
“I think you mean psychic and no, I’m afraid I’m not. I’m just intuitive.”
“What’s the difference?”
“A reality show on the Sci Fi channel.” I smiled, slid his check into my desk drawer and turned toward my computer. “Let’s see who I can find for you.”
I spent the next ten minutes cruising my database for hot, hip, seniors before I hit the jackpot.
“This is all you got?” Osc Ku gutes ar stared at the name and address I’d printed out. “But I’m supposed to get three dates with my package.”
“Not all at the same time. This will be the first one. You’re meeting her for dinner tomorrow night. If that doesn’t work out, we’ll move on to date number two.”
“Cain’t I just see ‘em all at once and get it over with?”
“I don’t do group dates. It’s one match at a time until you find the right one.” Which, I had a feeling, would never happen because as determined as Oscar was to find a new wife, he was still madly in love with the old one.
He eyed the paper. “What sort of name is Levine?”
“Jewish.”
He seemed to think. “Does she cook?”
“Rachel Ray’s got nothing on her.” I let the statement linger between us while I made a mental note to add a check box for cooking at the bottom of my human profile. “And she loves to crochet. And play Are You Smarter Than A Fifth Grader? . And she loves watching TV.”
“Football?”
“Does Britney Spears know her way around a courtroom?” Not that I had a football check box either, but Carol Levine had mentioned that she liked watching Sunday morning worship service on TV on account of she was usually out too late on Saturday night playing bingo to get up early enough to attend church. Hey, TV was TV.
I finished giving Oscar all the details and then I sent him on his way with a smile and a silent Bring flowers and tuck in your shirt.
The door shut and I turned toward the stack of DVDs I’d brought from home. I popped the top one into my computer and clicked on Play. I fast-forwarded, watching a very drunk girl strip off her bikini, plunge into the pool and have wild monkey sex with one of the casino dealers.
Talk about an ad for Encyte.
I was just about to pop out the DVD and mark it off my list when the phone rang. I glanced at the caller ID. It was my mother again.
Thankfully.
As guilty as I felt not picking up for my mom, I felt even more guilty not picking up for Ty.
As if I was hiding something.
Hello? You are hiding something.
Anxiety made my hands tremble and my stomach growled again. I guzzled more blood and sat there for a few seconds, waiting for some much-needed satisfaction. But without a decent night’s sleep, half a bottle wasn’t enough. I’d sort of gotten used to the fresh stuff now that Ty and I were together and so the bottle just didn’t cut it anymore. I had a fleeting image of Remy and his smooth, tanned throat. My stomach clenched. I grabbed the bottle and took another huge swig.
“Trouble in paradise?” The deep voice slithered into my ears and my head snapped up. My gaze collided with a pair of familiar brown eyes.
I swallowed with an audible gulp and stared at
“I said I didn’t have a religious preference.”
“Exactly. Which means you probably don’t go to church at all. Which means you probably watch football for lack of anything else to do on a Sunday. But then church is a great place to meet women, so it’s probably crossed your mind to trade in the football and head over to St. Marys because that, according to your address, is the closest church to you.” Or so I hoped.
He eyeballed me. “Are you one of them psychotics?” he asked after a long moment.
“I beg your pardon?”
“You know, one of them people who can see into a person’s head and tell them where it is they lost their wedding ring or where they put their eyeglasses or who’s going to win the Super Bowl.”
“I think you mean psychic and no, I’m afraid I’m not. I’m just intuitive.”
“What’s the difference?”
“A reality show on the Sci Fi channel.” I smiled, slid his check into my desk drawer and turned toward my computer. “Let’s see who I can find for you.”
I spent the next ten minutes cruising my database for hot, hip, seniors before I hit the jackpot.
“This is all you got?” Osc Ku gutes ar stared at the name and address I’d printed out. “But I’m supposed to get three dates with my package.”
“Not all at the same time. This will be the first one. You’re meeting her for dinner tomorrow night. If that doesn’t work out, we’ll move on to date number two.”
“Cain’t I just see ‘em all at once and get it over with?”
“I don’t do group dates. It’s one match at a time until you find the right one.” Which, I had a feeling, would never happen because as determined as Oscar was to find a new wife, he was still madly in love with the old one.
He eyed the paper. “What sort of name is Levine?”
“Jewish.”
He seemed to think. “Does she cook?”
“Rachel Ray’s got nothing on her.” I let the statement linger between us while I made a mental note to add a check box for cooking at the bottom of my human profile. “And she loves to crochet. And play Are You Smarter Than A Fifth Grader? . And she loves watching TV.”
“Football?”
“Does Britney Spears know her way around a courtroom?” Not that I had a football check box either, but Carol Levine had mentioned that she liked watching Sunday morning worship service on TV on account of she was usually out too late on Saturday night playing bingo to get up early enough to attend church. Hey, TV was TV.
I finished giving Oscar all the details and then I sent him on his way with a smile and a silent Bring flowers and tuck in your shirt.
The door shut and I turned toward the stack of DVDs I’d brought from home. I popped the top one into my computer and clicked on Play. I fast-forwarded, watching a very drunk girl strip off her bikini, plunge into the pool and have wild monkey sex with one of the casino dealers.
Talk about an ad for Encyte.
I was just about to pop out the DVD and mark it off my list when the phone rang. I glanced at the caller ID. It was my mother again.
Thankfully.
As guilty as I felt not picking up for my mom, I felt even more guilty not picking up for Ty.
As if I was hiding something.
Hello? You are hiding something.
Anxiety made my hands tremble and my stomach growled again. I guzzled more blood and sat there for a few seconds, waiting for some much-needed satisfaction. But without a decent night’s sleep, half a bottle wasn’t enough. I’d sort of gotten used to the fresh stuff now that Ty and I were together and so the bottle just didn’t cut it anymore. I had a fleeting image of Remy and his smooth, tanned throat. My stomach clenched. I grabbed the bottle and took another huge swig.
“Trouble in paradise?” The deep voice slithered into my ears and my head snapped up. My gaze collided with a pair of familiar brown eyes.
I swallowed with an audible gulp and stared at
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