Read Online HELLz BELLz by Randy Chandler - Free Book Online Page A

the steps and headed upstairs to check on her vicious bitch-mother. The crazy old lady had scratched her eye pretty good, and she couldn’t keep it open because every time she blinked, it felt like sandpaper was raking her eyeball. The vodka had dulled the pain only a little, so she was going to take one of her mother’s pain pills and then she would go across the street to the church and find out exactly what was going on. Though it didn’t make rational sense, she felt that the bell was calling her and that something wonderful waited for her there. Something sexual. Someone to lay the pipe to her? Didn’t make sense, but that was what she felt. It was a feeling too strong to ignore. And though she had just masturbated till her clit was sore, every baritone bong of that church bell rang her clit-clapper and sent a maddening tingle through her cunt.
    She crept into her mother’s room, realized there was no reason to creep, and said, “How’s it hanging, Ma? How’re things in La-la Land?”
    The old woman didn’t respond at all. She just lay there with her eyes now closed and a blank expression on her wrinkled face. Her breathing was slow and shallow.
    Daisy rummaged through the dozen or so pill bottles on the bedside table and found the Percodan, then popped two into her mouth and dry-swallowed them. “That ought to do it,” she said. “You won’t be needing them anymore. Hell, you’re probably brain dead anyhow. Feeling no pain. Best thing ever happened to you, you old shit. Finally out of your misery. And mine. You know how tired I was of your constant complaining and belly-aching? Your preoccupation with your bowels? You never thought of anyone but yourself. You were just a bitter useless old woman. Harping, harping, harping. Well, your harping days are over, you old harpy. Ain’t no harping in hell.”
    She bent down and kissed her mother’s cool forehead. “Sweet dreams, Mother,” Daisy said with a giggle. The smell of urine mingled with the old-lady smell, and Daisy turned up her nose. “Aw, you pissed yourself. If you think
I’m
gonna clean you up, you’re sadly mistaken. Tah-tah, now. I’m going out for a while. Don’t wait up.”
    Leaving her mother to stew in her own stinking juices, she shut the door, went down to the kitchen for a flashlight, and then went out the front door and across the street to the abandoned church. The closer she got to the ringing bell, the wetter she went between her legs. The night was hot and humid. By the time she reached the front door of the stone church, her entire body was glazed with sweat, but in her frame of mind, it seemed that all that wetness had spread from her cunt and that if she didn’t find someone to fuck her, she would suffocate in her own orgone and die of sexual frustration.
    There was an official notice tacked to the door stating that the building had been condemned by the city. Daisy tried the door. It was unlocked. So much for the efficiency of the city fathers.
    She went in.
    * * *
    Joe took another sip of his second scotch. Suzie was on her third or fourth cigarette since they’d first found refuge, of sorts, in Bill’s Bar, and she was noisily munching ice from her glass and exhaling smoke through her slightly upturned nostrils. Joe shook a smoke from their shared pack and lit it with a match that seemed to flare too brightly. “I better try her again,” he said.
    “Okay.” Suzie gave him a look of concern, as if she really was worried about a woman she’d never met.
    No, she’s concerned for me,
Joe thought.
Sweet girl. Sweet but not too smart, getting involved with that bozo Gary.
    He walked back to the pay phone and fed it more change, then punched his home number again. He could barely hear the buzz of each ring because of the blaring jukebox. Now it was thumping out a rockabilly tune by a woman with a nasty nasal condition.
    He started to hang up after the thirteenth ring, but then he let it ring once more because he thought