a decision she made when I was four … It made me love her even more. And she didn’t fall apart and do stupid shit. She didn’t bring guys around when I was little. She worked hard. She was there for me. She was always there for me.
What I didn’t lie to Heather about is abandoning my motorcycle. Those first two times, back when Robbie dared me, we had been walking across the street and this older babe, like in her forties, had been giving us the eye. So I did it. I was high anyway. And my boldness earned me a BJ. The second time I earned a slap and a scratched up face. But that was it. Two times in that fucked up year. Two years before I bought my motorcycle.
It wasn’t really a lie. It was true I’d never asked a girl out like that before. Never a girl as sweet and pretty as Heather turned out to be. I didn’t want to fuck this up. She was different. Something about her eyes… But there was that little lie. Not that big a deal, but I promised myself I’d never lie to her again.
She doesn’t seem like a liar but I sense that she’s hiding something. She tries hard to conceal it. Some heartbreak or loss maybe. Something to do with her parents? I know next to nothing about her and yet some part of me feels as if I’ve known her all my life. I know that’s just romantic mush, but it feels true. I’ve never felt something like that before. I hope, in time, she’ll come to trust me. I think she’s trying to.
For one thing, she letting me drive her Aunt’s bad-ass Porsche. It feels great to be behind the wheel. I’m having a hard time not going too fast. This baby wants to rev! But I’ve got to hold back, make Heather feel safe first. Going slow, in anything in life, is hard for me. And I can tell I’ll have to take things slow with Heather. She’s told me as much directly. I grip the steering wheel tighter. I could just fly down Santa Monica Boulevard right now, weaving between cars. Just as easily, I could lunge across the middle console and take Heather in my arms and kiss those luscious pink lips, hoist up her skirt, and fuck her brains out. Shit! Slow down, J! I shift in my seat. It would not be cool to having a raging boner with her sitting in the car next to me. I’ve got to take it easy, play it cool, let her set the pace.
Taking her out to Ken’s place for dinner is classy. I almost blew it with the early reservation though. I could tell that kind of freaked her out. But I’m a planner and I hope for the best. Things don’t always work out, but I don’t mind. I haven’t had the smoothest life but somehow I’ve ended up an optimist. I figure if I keep believing Fate is good to me then it will be. Like Heather’s ‘fake it til you make it’ attitude. You have to know what you want before what you want knows how to find you.
Heather
I had thought Josh would drive faster. I was glad he didn’t. He probably wanted to but didn’t out of respect for me. I liked that. A lot of people were out on this beautiful summer night. As we approached Santa Monica Boulevard, the air cooled slightly and I could smell the sea. I knew we weren’t going to a beach party later but it was Friday night and I was with a very hot guy. I smiled and leaned back in my seat, pretending to be as relaxed as beach-girl might be.
Josh said, “So if you don’t believe in Fate, what do you believe in?”
“Not much anymore,” I said. I didn’t intend to tell him of my early church years and the faith that fucked up my life. Was it even faith? Or just manipulation? It was nearly impossible to gauge when and how that church morphed into cult. Maybe when faith gave itself over to brain washing?… I pushed those thoughts out of my mind. They were part of the past I was leaving behind. They had no place in my future. And most definitely not on a first date, but Josh kept niggling at my edges. He seemed to do it on instinct. So far, it was his only flaw. Maybe my paranoia was my own issue. Miranda might agree with
What I didn’t lie to Heather about is abandoning my motorcycle. Those first two times, back when Robbie dared me, we had been walking across the street and this older babe, like in her forties, had been giving us the eye. So I did it. I was high anyway. And my boldness earned me a BJ. The second time I earned a slap and a scratched up face. But that was it. Two times in that fucked up year. Two years before I bought my motorcycle.
It wasn’t really a lie. It was true I’d never asked a girl out like that before. Never a girl as sweet and pretty as Heather turned out to be. I didn’t want to fuck this up. She was different. Something about her eyes… But there was that little lie. Not that big a deal, but I promised myself I’d never lie to her again.
She doesn’t seem like a liar but I sense that she’s hiding something. She tries hard to conceal it. Some heartbreak or loss maybe. Something to do with her parents? I know next to nothing about her and yet some part of me feels as if I’ve known her all my life. I know that’s just romantic mush, but it feels true. I’ve never felt something like that before. I hope, in time, she’ll come to trust me. I think she’s trying to.
For one thing, she letting me drive her Aunt’s bad-ass Porsche. It feels great to be behind the wheel. I’m having a hard time not going too fast. This baby wants to rev! But I’ve got to hold back, make Heather feel safe first. Going slow, in anything in life, is hard for me. And I can tell I’ll have to take things slow with Heather. She’s told me as much directly. I grip the steering wheel tighter. I could just fly down Santa Monica Boulevard right now, weaving between cars. Just as easily, I could lunge across the middle console and take Heather in my arms and kiss those luscious pink lips, hoist up her skirt, and fuck her brains out. Shit! Slow down, J! I shift in my seat. It would not be cool to having a raging boner with her sitting in the car next to me. I’ve got to take it easy, play it cool, let her set the pace.
Taking her out to Ken’s place for dinner is classy. I almost blew it with the early reservation though. I could tell that kind of freaked her out. But I’m a planner and I hope for the best. Things don’t always work out, but I don’t mind. I haven’t had the smoothest life but somehow I’ve ended up an optimist. I figure if I keep believing Fate is good to me then it will be. Like Heather’s ‘fake it til you make it’ attitude. You have to know what you want before what you want knows how to find you.
Heather
I had thought Josh would drive faster. I was glad he didn’t. He probably wanted to but didn’t out of respect for me. I liked that. A lot of people were out on this beautiful summer night. As we approached Santa Monica Boulevard, the air cooled slightly and I could smell the sea. I knew we weren’t going to a beach party later but it was Friday night and I was with a very hot guy. I smiled and leaned back in my seat, pretending to be as relaxed as beach-girl might be.
Josh said, “So if you don’t believe in Fate, what do you believe in?”
“Not much anymore,” I said. I didn’t intend to tell him of my early church years and the faith that fucked up my life. Was it even faith? Or just manipulation? It was nearly impossible to gauge when and how that church morphed into cult. Maybe when faith gave itself over to brain washing?… I pushed those thoughts out of my mind. They were part of the past I was leaving behind. They had no place in my future. And most definitely not on a first date, but Josh kept niggling at my edges. He seemed to do it on instinct. So far, it was his only flaw. Maybe my paranoia was my own issue. Miranda might agree with
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