Read Online Heart of a Dog by Mikhail Bulgakov - Free Book Online Page B
Authors: Mikhail Bulgakov
Tags: Fiction, General, Literary Criticism, Satire, Soviet Union, Russian & Former Soviet Union, Animal experimentation
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words: 'taxi', 'full up', 'evening paper', 'take one home for the kiddies' and every known Russian swear-word. His appearance is strange. He now only has hair on his head, chin and chest. Elsewhere he is bald, with flabby skin. His genital region now has the appearance of an immature human male. His skull has enlarged considerably. Brow low and receding.
My God, I must be going mad. . . .
Philip Philipovich still feels unwell. Most of the observations (pictures and recordings) are being carried out by myself.
Rumours are spreading round the town . . . Consequences may be incalculable. All day today the whole street was full of loafing rubbernecks and old women . . . Dogs still crowding round beneath the windows. Amazing report in the morning papers: The rumours of a Martian in Obukhov Street are totally unfounded. They have been spread by black-market traders and their repetition will be severely punished. What Martian, for God's sake? This is turning into a nightmare.
Reports in today's evening paper even worse - they say that a child has been born who could play the violin from birth. Beside it is a photograph of myself with the caption: 'Prof.
Preobrazhensky performing a Caesarian operation on the mother.' The situation is getting out of hand ... He can now say a new word - 'policeman' . . .
Apparently Darya Petrovna was in love with me and pinched the snapshot of me out of Philip Philipovich's photograph album. After I had kicked out all the reporters one of them sneaked back into the kitchen, and so ...
Consulting hours are now impossible. Eighty-two telephone calls today. The telephone has been cut off. We are besieged by child-less women . . .
House committee appeared in full strength, headed by Shvonder - they could not explain why they had come.
January 8th Late this evening diagnosis finally agreed. With the impartiality of a true scholar Philip Philipovich has acknowledged his error: transplantation of the pituitary induces not rejuvenation but total humanisation (underlined three times). This does not, however, lessen the value of his stupendous discovery.
The creature walked round the flat today for the first time. Laughed in the corridor after looking at the electric light. Then, accompanied by Philip Philipovich and myself, he went into the study. Stands firmly on his hind (deleted) ... his legs and gives the impression of a short, ill-knit human male.
Laughed in the study. His smile is disagreeable and somehow artificial. Then he scratched the back of his head, looked round and registered a further, clearly-pronounced word: 'Bourgeois'. Swore. His swearing is methodical, uninterrupted and apparently totally meaningless. There is something mechanical about it - it is as if this creature had heard all this bad language at an earlier phase, automatically recorded it in his subconscious and now regurgitates it wholesale. However, I am no psychiatrist.
The swearing somehow has a very depressing effect on Philip Philipovich. There are moments when he abandons his cool, unemotional observation of new phenomena and appears to lose patience. Once when the creature was swearing, for instance, he suddenly burst out impulsively: 'Shut up!' This had no effect.
After his visit to the study Sharik was shut up in the consulting-room by our joint efforts. Philip Philipovich and I then held a conference. I confess that this was the first time I had seen this selfassured and highly intelligent man at a loss. He hummed a little, as he is in the habit of doing, then asked: 'What are we going to do now?' He answered himself literally as follows:
'Moscow State Clothing Stores, yes . . . "from Granada to Seville" . . . M.S.C.S., my dear doctor . . .' I could not understand him, then he explained: 'Ivan Arnold-ovich, please go and buy him some underwear, shirt, jacket and trousers.'
January 9th The creature's
My God, I must be going mad. . . .
Philip Philipovich still feels unwell. Most of the observations (pictures and recordings) are being carried out by myself.
Rumours are spreading round the town . . . Consequences may be incalculable. All day today the whole street was full of loafing rubbernecks and old women . . . Dogs still crowding round beneath the windows. Amazing report in the morning papers: The rumours of a Martian in Obukhov Street are totally unfounded. They have been spread by black-market traders and their repetition will be severely punished. What Martian, for God's sake? This is turning into a nightmare.
Reports in today's evening paper even worse - they say that a child has been born who could play the violin from birth. Beside it is a photograph of myself with the caption: 'Prof.
Preobrazhensky performing a Caesarian operation on the mother.' The situation is getting out of hand ... He can now say a new word - 'policeman' . . .
Apparently Darya Petrovna was in love with me and pinched the snapshot of me out of Philip Philipovich's photograph album. After I had kicked out all the reporters one of them sneaked back into the kitchen, and so ...
Consulting hours are now impossible. Eighty-two telephone calls today. The telephone has been cut off. We are besieged by child-less women . . .
House committee appeared in full strength, headed by Shvonder - they could not explain why they had come.
January 8th Late this evening diagnosis finally agreed. With the impartiality of a true scholar Philip Philipovich has acknowledged his error: transplantation of the pituitary induces not rejuvenation but total humanisation (underlined three times). This does not, however, lessen the value of his stupendous discovery.
The creature walked round the flat today for the first time. Laughed in the corridor after looking at the electric light. Then, accompanied by Philip Philipovich and myself, he went into the study. Stands firmly on his hind (deleted) ... his legs and gives the impression of a short, ill-knit human male.
Laughed in the study. His smile is disagreeable and somehow artificial. Then he scratched the back of his head, looked round and registered a further, clearly-pronounced word: 'Bourgeois'. Swore. His swearing is methodical, uninterrupted and apparently totally meaningless. There is something mechanical about it - it is as if this creature had heard all this bad language at an earlier phase, automatically recorded it in his subconscious and now regurgitates it wholesale. However, I am no psychiatrist.
The swearing somehow has a very depressing effect on Philip Philipovich. There are moments when he abandons his cool, unemotional observation of new phenomena and appears to lose patience. Once when the creature was swearing, for instance, he suddenly burst out impulsively: 'Shut up!' This had no effect.
After his visit to the study Sharik was shut up in the consulting-room by our joint efforts. Philip Philipovich and I then held a conference. I confess that this was the first time I had seen this selfassured and highly intelligent man at a loss. He hummed a little, as he is in the habit of doing, then asked: 'What are we going to do now?' He answered himself literally as follows:
'Moscow State Clothing Stores, yes . . . "from Granada to Seville" . . . M.S.C.S., my dear doctor . . .' I could not understand him, then he explained: 'Ivan Arnold-ovich, please go and buy him some underwear, shirt, jacket and trousers.'
January 9th The creature's
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