Read Online He: (Shey) (Modern Classics (Penguin)) by Rabindranath Tagore - Free Book Online Page B
Authors: Rabindranath Tagore
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Tasmania, 39 a simple game of dekha-binti. 40 The man of the house, Kojmachuku, and his missus Shrimati Hanchiendani Korunkuna had a daughter called Pamkuni Devi; she had cooked us a kintinabu meriunathu with her own fair hands. You could smell it seven blocks away. The aroma excited the jackals so much that they threw caution to the winds and began howling in broad daylight— whether from greed or disgust, I couldn’t tell. The crows drove their beaks into the ground, got stuck and flailed their wings in despair for a good three hours. That’s just the vegetables. There were great barrels of kangchuno-sangchani to follow. There was chewed peel of aankshuto, a fruit very popular in that region. And for dessert, there was a basketful of iktikutir bhiktimai.
‘“First their pet elephant came and pulped all this under his great feet. Then the largest animal of their land, the gandishangdung, as they call it—a cross between a man, a bull and a lion—came and licked the mixture with his spiky tongue, till it was a soft mush. Then they struck up a fearsome hammering of mortar and pestle before the three hundred expectant guests. The people there insist on this racket as a kind of appetizer; the noise brings in hordes of beggars from the distant reaches of the town. Those whose teeth are wrenched off as they eat donate their broken molars to the host before leaving. He stores them away in the bank and leaves them to his sons in his will. The more teeth one possesses, the greater one’s reputation. Many even steal the teeth collected by others and pass them off as their own. People have fought fiercely over this in court. A man who owns a thousand teeth will never give his daughter in marriage to someone with only fifty. If the insignificant possessor of just fifteen teeth suddenly chokes to death on a ketku sweet-ball, you won’t find a man in the Neighbourhood of the Thousand-Toothed who’ll stoop to cremating the body. The corpse has to be furtively floated off in the Chouchingi River. But now the people who live on its banks have begun to demand compensation; the battle has gone as far as the Privy Council.”’
By this time, I was panting for breath. ‘Stop, stop,’ I gasped. ‘But let me ask you what’s so special about the story you’ve just told me.’
‘It’s special because it isn’t just some chutney of pulped kul seeds. No one can complain if you feed your appetite for exaggeration by enlarging upon the impossible. Ofcourse, I don't
claim even my story belongs to the highest order of humour.
Only a story that makes you believe in the unbelievable can be
said to have that extraordinary charm. I warn you, you'll end
up in disgrace ifyou go on with shoddy exaggerations only good
enough to hush a crying child.'
'All right, from now on I'll tell Pupu-didi such stories that
we'll need an exorcist to drive out her faith in them.'
‘Good, but what did you mean by saying you were going to the viceroy’s house?’
‘I meant I wished to be rid of your presence. Once you sit down, you show no sign of getting up. It was just a polite way of saying, “Scoot!” ’
‘I see. I’ll be getting on, then.’
----
31 Rai Bahadur : a title given by the British Raj to Indians considered loyal to it.
32 Smritiratna : a degree awarded to Sanskrit scholars versed in the Smritishastras.
33 Ochterlony Monume nt : a tower in the heart of Calcutta, named after Sir David
Ochterlony, a soldier and administrator of the Raj. Now called Shahid Minar
or Martyrs’Tower in memory of India’s freedom fighters.
34 Statesman House : the office of the well-known newspaper, The Statesman .
35 Commez vous portez vous…:‘How are you, if you please?’The comic use
of French is found in the original.
36 Sankhyakarika: the most important text of the Sankhya school of philosophy;
written by Ishwara.
37 Bhatpara : a place to the north of Calcutta, famous for its Brahmin scholars
and priests.
38
‘“First their pet elephant came and pulped all this under his great feet. Then the largest animal of their land, the gandishangdung, as they call it—a cross between a man, a bull and a lion—came and licked the mixture with his spiky tongue, till it was a soft mush. Then they struck up a fearsome hammering of mortar and pestle before the three hundred expectant guests. The people there insist on this racket as a kind of appetizer; the noise brings in hordes of beggars from the distant reaches of the town. Those whose teeth are wrenched off as they eat donate their broken molars to the host before leaving. He stores them away in the bank and leaves them to his sons in his will. The more teeth one possesses, the greater one’s reputation. Many even steal the teeth collected by others and pass them off as their own. People have fought fiercely over this in court. A man who owns a thousand teeth will never give his daughter in marriage to someone with only fifty. If the insignificant possessor of just fifteen teeth suddenly chokes to death on a ketku sweet-ball, you won’t find a man in the Neighbourhood of the Thousand-Toothed who’ll stoop to cremating the body. The corpse has to be furtively floated off in the Chouchingi River. But now the people who live on its banks have begun to demand compensation; the battle has gone as far as the Privy Council.”’
By this time, I was panting for breath. ‘Stop, stop,’ I gasped. ‘But let me ask you what’s so special about the story you’ve just told me.’
‘It’s special because it isn’t just some chutney of pulped kul seeds. No one can complain if you feed your appetite for exaggeration by enlarging upon the impossible. Ofcourse, I don't
claim even my story belongs to the highest order of humour.
Only a story that makes you believe in the unbelievable can be
said to have that extraordinary charm. I warn you, you'll end
up in disgrace ifyou go on with shoddy exaggerations only good
enough to hush a crying child.'
'All right, from now on I'll tell Pupu-didi such stories that
we'll need an exorcist to drive out her faith in them.'
‘Good, but what did you mean by saying you were going to the viceroy’s house?’
‘I meant I wished to be rid of your presence. Once you sit down, you show no sign of getting up. It was just a polite way of saying, “Scoot!” ’
‘I see. I’ll be getting on, then.’
----
31 Rai Bahadur : a title given by the British Raj to Indians considered loyal to it.
32 Smritiratna : a degree awarded to Sanskrit scholars versed in the Smritishastras.
33 Ochterlony Monume nt : a tower in the heart of Calcutta, named after Sir David
Ochterlony, a soldier and administrator of the Raj. Now called Shahid Minar
or Martyrs’Tower in memory of India’s freedom fighters.
34 Statesman House : the office of the well-known newspaper, The Statesman .
35 Commez vous portez vous…:‘How are you, if you please?’The comic use
of French is found in the original.
36 Sankhyakarika: the most important text of the Sankhya school of philosophy;
written by Ishwara.
37 Bhatpara : a place to the north of Calcutta, famous for its Brahmin scholars
and priests.
38
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