Read Online Haven 3: Forgotten Sins by Gabrielle Evans - Free Book Online Page B
Authors: Gabrielle Evans
Tags: mm
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together.”
“Then let me go!” Jonas stopped pacing, pressed his back to the wall, and slid to the floor. “Why didn’t you just let me go?”
“You are my mate.”
“And what has that gotten me? What has being your mate ever fucking done for me? I’ve been alone my entire life—all because of you.”
“You weren’t alone. Even if we weren’t mated, we were still together.”
Nicholas just wasn’t getting it. Why should he, though? He hadn’t lived a lifetime of pain and desire for something he could never have.
“I was more alone with you than I would have been without.” Jonas closed his eyes and leaned his head back against the wall. “Just leave me alone.”
“I do love you, Jonas. I’ve always loved you.” Jonas was on his feet and snarling before he registered the intention to do so. “No! You do not get to say that shit to me. You don’t toy with someone’s emotions and then spout off at the mouth about love.”
After slowly gaining his feet, Nicholas shuffled a few steps closer to Jonas. “You weren’t the only one who suffered.”
“Fuck you.” Not very eloquent, but it summed up his feelings at the moment. “I’ve watched the men come and go from your bedroom. I’ve sat back and wondered what was so wrong with me that you would choose to be with some stranger and not your own mate. So don’t talk to me about suffering.”
“Jonas…”
“Did you know that you’re the only person I’ve ever been with? In two hundred and thirty-one years, you are the only man I’ve ever taken to my bed.” Jonas laughed harshly. “And I wasn’t even good enough for a real bed. I got some murky pond water in the dead of night so that no one could see us. That’s what I meant to you.”
“Jonas, stop and listen to me.”
“Why? So you can lie to me some more?” Jonas had committed everything he was and everything he had to offer to the man in front of him. Even when Nicholas rejected him, he never wavered in his devotion. Now, just looking at his mate was shredding his heart. “I’m done. I can’t do this anymore.”
“Can’t do what?”
“I can’t let you be my everything when I mean absolutely nothing to you.” Jonas refused to show an ounce of weakness in front of Nicholas. Not one tear would he shed for the faithless and lying bastard—even if he felt like he was dying inside.
“You can’t honestly believe that.” Nicholas didn’t sound scornful or condemning, though. He sounded almost pleading. “Everything I’ve sacrificed—Oh, I’ve sacrificed,” he added when Jonas snorted derisively, “has been for you.”
“Yes, I’m sure your life has been so tragic.”
“You were my first and last,” Nicholas said solemnly. “Those men you saw coming and going from my room were donors, nothing more. I didn’t kiss them. I didn’t fuck them. You have to believe me.”
“Why should I? Why should I believe a word out of your mouth?”
“Because I need you to,” Nicholas answered simply. “I’m sorry I lied to you. I’m sorry that I withheld this from you. My secrecy has kept you alive this long, though, so I can’t say that I would have done anything differently.”
Jonas absorbed the words and shook his head sadly. “If you had a good reason—and I’m not saying you did or do—you tell me that reason and let me decide for myself if it’s worth the risk.” It was pointless. He could say the same thing in twenty different ways, and Nicholas would never get it.
With heavy footsteps and a heavier heart, Jonas turned and walked toward the open door of the small cell. Maybe he’d just keep walking right up the stairs and through the front door. Burning alive in the sun had to hurt less than what he was feeling because of someone who professed to love him.
“Where are you going?”
“I don’t know,” Jonas answered honestly. “I just know that I can’t be here anymore.”
“You can’t leave. Jonas, don’t leave me.” Jonas spun around
“Then let me go!” Jonas stopped pacing, pressed his back to the wall, and slid to the floor. “Why didn’t you just let me go?”
“You are my mate.”
“And what has that gotten me? What has being your mate ever fucking done for me? I’ve been alone my entire life—all because of you.”
“You weren’t alone. Even if we weren’t mated, we were still together.”
Nicholas just wasn’t getting it. Why should he, though? He hadn’t lived a lifetime of pain and desire for something he could never have.
“I was more alone with you than I would have been without.” Jonas closed his eyes and leaned his head back against the wall. “Just leave me alone.”
“I do love you, Jonas. I’ve always loved you.” Jonas was on his feet and snarling before he registered the intention to do so. “No! You do not get to say that shit to me. You don’t toy with someone’s emotions and then spout off at the mouth about love.”
After slowly gaining his feet, Nicholas shuffled a few steps closer to Jonas. “You weren’t the only one who suffered.”
“Fuck you.” Not very eloquent, but it summed up his feelings at the moment. “I’ve watched the men come and go from your bedroom. I’ve sat back and wondered what was so wrong with me that you would choose to be with some stranger and not your own mate. So don’t talk to me about suffering.”
“Jonas…”
“Did you know that you’re the only person I’ve ever been with? In two hundred and thirty-one years, you are the only man I’ve ever taken to my bed.” Jonas laughed harshly. “And I wasn’t even good enough for a real bed. I got some murky pond water in the dead of night so that no one could see us. That’s what I meant to you.”
“Jonas, stop and listen to me.”
“Why? So you can lie to me some more?” Jonas had committed everything he was and everything he had to offer to the man in front of him. Even when Nicholas rejected him, he never wavered in his devotion. Now, just looking at his mate was shredding his heart. “I’m done. I can’t do this anymore.”
“Can’t do what?”
“I can’t let you be my everything when I mean absolutely nothing to you.” Jonas refused to show an ounce of weakness in front of Nicholas. Not one tear would he shed for the faithless and lying bastard—even if he felt like he was dying inside.
“You can’t honestly believe that.” Nicholas didn’t sound scornful or condemning, though. He sounded almost pleading. “Everything I’ve sacrificed—Oh, I’ve sacrificed,” he added when Jonas snorted derisively, “has been for you.”
“Yes, I’m sure your life has been so tragic.”
“You were my first and last,” Nicholas said solemnly. “Those men you saw coming and going from my room were donors, nothing more. I didn’t kiss them. I didn’t fuck them. You have to believe me.”
“Why should I? Why should I believe a word out of your mouth?”
“Because I need you to,” Nicholas answered simply. “I’m sorry I lied to you. I’m sorry that I withheld this from you. My secrecy has kept you alive this long, though, so I can’t say that I would have done anything differently.”
Jonas absorbed the words and shook his head sadly. “If you had a good reason—and I’m not saying you did or do—you tell me that reason and let me decide for myself if it’s worth the risk.” It was pointless. He could say the same thing in twenty different ways, and Nicholas would never get it.
With heavy footsteps and a heavier heart, Jonas turned and walked toward the open door of the small cell. Maybe he’d just keep walking right up the stairs and through the front door. Burning alive in the sun had to hurt less than what he was feeling because of someone who professed to love him.
“Where are you going?”
“I don’t know,” Jonas answered honestly. “I just know that I can’t be here anymore.”
“You can’t leave. Jonas, don’t leave me.” Jonas spun around
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