naturally a part of the soundtrack behind high school
life.
We rounded the corner into the Commons, where the orderly motion of the halls poured into a stagnant milling of kids getting
in their before-school gossip. Some were at the Student Council table buying doughnuts, others sitting on the floors with
their backs propped against the walls, eating doughnuts they’d already scored. Some cheerleaders were balanced on chairs hanging
assembly posters. A few kids were tucked back against the stage area making out. The school losers—our friends—were waiting
for us, draped over chairs turned backward at a round table near the closed kitchen entrance. A few teachers—the brave ones
like Kline and Mrs. Flores, the art teacher—were wandering through the crowd, trying to keep some semblance of order among
them. But everyone knew it was a losing battle. Order and the Commons rarely went together.
Nick and I stopped just after we entered the room. I stood on my tiptoes and craned my neck. Nick was surveying the entire
room, a cold grin swiped across his face.
“Over there!” I said, pointing. “There she is!”
Nick scanned where I was pointing and found her.
“I’m so going to get a new MP3 player out of her,” I said.
Nick unzipped his jacket slowly, but he didn’t take it off. “Let’s go get this finished,” he said, and I smiled because I
was so happy he was going to stick up for me. And I was happy that Christy Bruter was finally going to get what she had coming
to her, too. This was the old Nick—the Nick I’d fallen in love with. The Nick who stood up to Christy Bruter and whoever
else was making life miserable for me, who never backed down when one of the football players would come after him, trying
to make him look small. The Nick who understood what it felt like to be me—crappy family, crappy school life, people like
Christy Bruter constantly in my face reminding me that I wasn’t like them, that I was somehow less than them.
His eyes took on a strange faraway look and he began walking briskly through the crowd ahead of me. He wasn’t paying attention
to where he was going. He was just walking through people, his shoulders butting theirs and knocking them backward. He left
me in a wake of angry faces and indignant shouts, but I ignored them and just followed him as closely as I could.
He reached Christy a few steps before I did. I had to crane my neck to see her over his shoulder. But I could still hear him.
I was straining to hear him because I didn’t want to miss a second of him scaring the heck out of Christy. So I’m sure of
what I heard. I still hear it just about every day.
He must have bumped Christy on the shoulder or something, just like she’d done to me on the bus. I couldn’t really see for
sure because at that point his back was still to me. But I saw her pitch forward a little bit, almost knocking into her friend
Willa. She turned around with a surprised look and said, “What’s your problem?”
By then I had caught up with Nick and was standing just behind him. On the security video it looked like I was standing right
next to him, all of us so close together it was impossible to tell whose body was whose. But I was just a step behind him,
and all I could really see was the top half of Christy over Nick’s shoulder.
“You’ve been on the list for a long time,” he said, and I immediately went cold because I couldn’t believe he’d just told
her about the list. I was pissed, honestly. That list was our secret. Just between us. And he’d just blown it. And I knew
that with Christy Bruter there would be hell to pay. She’d probably tell her friends and they would have something else to
make fun of us about. She’d probably even tell her parents about it and they’d call mine and I’d get grounded. Maybe we’d
even end up suspended and then I’d be screwed when it came to finals.
“What list?” she asked and
Sheri S. Tepper
J.S. Strange
Darlene Mindrup
Jennifer Culbreth
Anne Stuart
Giles Foden
Declan Conner
Kelly Jameson
Elisabeth Barrett
Lara Hays