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Authors: Steven Campbell
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togas with
headdresses. There were whites, purples, oranges, yellows. The colors meant
something, but damned if I knew what.
Once we entered the main building of the
Church, the personnel changed yet again.
Instead of serene folks in bright togas,
it was sexy women in scanty clothes.
Hobardi was an extreme womanizer. His
religion probably had its origins in a complicated pick-up line.
I had ulterior motives in bringing
Valia. I wanted an extra set of eyes, but I also wanted to throw off the perv
Hobardi in our negotiations. I knew he would be enthralled with Valia, not just
because she was good-looking, but because she was a Kommilaire. There were
other female Kommilaire, it was true, but they tended to be a little on the
butch side with five o’clock shadows and deep voices.
An absurdly tall and thin man wearing
sunglasses walked to meet us. He was Hobardi’s mutant. My nose didn’t work
well, but he smelled bad.
“What do you want with the Grandmaster?”
he asked without laughing. That might have been his mutant ability: to refer to
a charlatan as a “Grandmaster” and not smile. His very dour expression made it
clear he was not kept around as comic relief.
“To learn at his feet,” I said, also
without laughing.
“You the guy that fought those Dredel
Led?” Which I thought was a weird thing to ask.
“Sure,” I answered.
He wordlessly walked with us to the next
room, which was primarily occupied by a large, heated pool. There were
recliners and exotic flowers and trees in here as well.
The room made me uncomfortable, as my
body was not able to regulate its temperature well and it was unbearably hot
and humid.
Hobardi walked up to us wearing a
bathing suit. He was a fit man, muscular and tan. I heard he took all kinds of
drugs and went through all kinds of surgeries and procedures to stay fit and
attractive. It was much easier being a cult leader when you were handsome.
Which left me out of the religion
business.
He wore necklaces and rings and
talismans but they were unobtrusive. He had high cheekbones, perfect hair, and
his constant smile was so white you could probably bounce lasers off his teeth.
“Hank, good of you to come,” he said.
He held out his hand in some gesture,
probably out of habit. I can’t remember if his disciples kissed or bowed or
what, but it didn’t matter to me, I wasn’t his disciple.
I merely nodded.
“Who is your friend?” he asked, his eyes
glowing with interest.
I was really hot. I could shrug off
missiles but a mist of warm water was incapacitating me. This was pretty humiliating.
“My name is Valia,” she said, noticing my
struggle.
I was worried my condition was going to undermine
my negotiations, but Valia again covered and she snapped off the top button of
her coat and flung her hair around.
“You’ll have to excuse us, we’re not
dressed for this sauna,” she said sultrily.
Hobardi probably didn’t even notice I
was there at that point.
“Valia. A beautiful name,” he said.
“Come then, let’s retire to a more comfortable area.”
Valia, Hobardi, and the mutant walked
out as I followed behind, wiping the moisture from my face.
Valia and Hobardi reclined on a couch in
another room as I stood there trying to catch my breath. The mutant was
impassive in his sunglasses. Valia had really taken over the situation and was
flirting in her dominant manner with Hobardi, who looked almost like easy prey.
I took a moment to squirt some food into
my mouth, which helped. I’d been told in no uncertain terms that I looked
“disgusting” while I was eating the greenish paste. Which was fine, food didn’t
need to be pretty.
“Right,” I began. “I need you to rescind
the Brotherhood Commandment.”
I think everyone had forgotten me.
“What?” Hobardi asked.
“Your Brotherhood Commandment. ‘No
member of the Order shall harm another member of the Order.’ It makes policing
this city impossible.”
Hobardi smiled serenely.
“I merely
headdresses. There were whites, purples, oranges, yellows. The colors meant
something, but damned if I knew what.
Once we entered the main building of the
Church, the personnel changed yet again.
Instead of serene folks in bright togas,
it was sexy women in scanty clothes.
Hobardi was an extreme womanizer. His
religion probably had its origins in a complicated pick-up line.
I had ulterior motives in bringing
Valia. I wanted an extra set of eyes, but I also wanted to throw off the perv
Hobardi in our negotiations. I knew he would be enthralled with Valia, not just
because she was good-looking, but because she was a Kommilaire. There were
other female Kommilaire, it was true, but they tended to be a little on the
butch side with five o’clock shadows and deep voices.
An absurdly tall and thin man wearing
sunglasses walked to meet us. He was Hobardi’s mutant. My nose didn’t work
well, but he smelled bad.
“What do you want with the Grandmaster?”
he asked without laughing. That might have been his mutant ability: to refer to
a charlatan as a “Grandmaster” and not smile. His very dour expression made it
clear he was not kept around as comic relief.
“To learn at his feet,” I said, also
without laughing.
“You the guy that fought those Dredel
Led?” Which I thought was a weird thing to ask.
“Sure,” I answered.
He wordlessly walked with us to the next
room, which was primarily occupied by a large, heated pool. There were
recliners and exotic flowers and trees in here as well.
The room made me uncomfortable, as my
body was not able to regulate its temperature well and it was unbearably hot
and humid.
Hobardi walked up to us wearing a
bathing suit. He was a fit man, muscular and tan. I heard he took all kinds of
drugs and went through all kinds of surgeries and procedures to stay fit and
attractive. It was much easier being a cult leader when you were handsome.
Which left me out of the religion
business.
He wore necklaces and rings and
talismans but they were unobtrusive. He had high cheekbones, perfect hair, and
his constant smile was so white you could probably bounce lasers off his teeth.
“Hank, good of you to come,” he said.
He held out his hand in some gesture,
probably out of habit. I can’t remember if his disciples kissed or bowed or
what, but it didn’t matter to me, I wasn’t his disciple.
I merely nodded.
“Who is your friend?” he asked, his eyes
glowing with interest.
I was really hot. I could shrug off
missiles but a mist of warm water was incapacitating me. This was pretty humiliating.
“My name is Valia,” she said, noticing my
struggle.
I was worried my condition was going to undermine
my negotiations, but Valia again covered and she snapped off the top button of
her coat and flung her hair around.
“You’ll have to excuse us, we’re not
dressed for this sauna,” she said sultrily.
Hobardi probably didn’t even notice I
was there at that point.
“Valia. A beautiful name,” he said.
“Come then, let’s retire to a more comfortable area.”
Valia, Hobardi, and the mutant walked
out as I followed behind, wiping the moisture from my face.
Valia and Hobardi reclined on a couch in
another room as I stood there trying to catch my breath. The mutant was
impassive in his sunglasses. Valia had really taken over the situation and was
flirting in her dominant manner with Hobardi, who looked almost like easy prey.
I took a moment to squirt some food into
my mouth, which helped. I’d been told in no uncertain terms that I looked
“disgusting” while I was eating the greenish paste. Which was fine, food didn’t
need to be pretty.
“Right,” I began. “I need you to rescind
the Brotherhood Commandment.”
I think everyone had forgotten me.
“What?” Hobardi asked.
“Your Brotherhood Commandment. ‘No
member of the Order shall harm another member of the Order.’ It makes policing
this city impossible.”
Hobardi smiled serenely.
“I merely
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