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between his thighs like a big, brown penis, and let it blow to spew foam at Maddy. Arching back his hairy head, he howled like Wolfman Jack.
    “Police,” said Maddy, disgusted, and she held up her badge.
    A change, like in the movie, came over Dag. Hard to tell if he was turning into a man or transforming into a beast more rabid than his costume. Maddy’s leg was ready to knee him in the groin. Smash that bottle and Dag would be neutered in the process, which would tame him like any unruly dog.
    “Hey, it’s a party.”
    They had to shout to be heard.
    “This isn’t about noise.”
    “Bitch,” snarled Dag.
    Maddy gripped the butt of the gun in the holster at her waist. If the neutering failed, she might have to put him down.
    “Not you,” added Dag. “That tub o’ lard who’s my wife.”
    “Let’s talk outside.”
    “This about Mary?”
    “Outside.”
    “Okay.”
    “You lead the way.”
    The bottle went limp between his thighs and fell to the floor. Poison Ivy, from one of the Batman films, played spin the bottle with her high-heeled boot. Dag stumbled drunkenly through the dancers, not as nimble as when he was doing the dog. The cop followed him to the door and out into the hall.
    Zinc, lurking on the threshold, had scared off the overflow. Flanking the door were plastic skulls stuck on stakes as a warning. The epitaph on a tombstone at the foot of one read
    ROTTER
    DIED OF BODY PARTS FAILURE
    (FELL OFF)
    Leaning against the wall was an open coffin, in which lay a horrified Bride of Dracula with a stake through her heart.
    “Wha’d’ya think I did?” Dag slurred his words.
    “You tell me,” Maddy said over the music echoing from the flat.
    “I’m drunk.”
    “Uh-huh.”
    “You shou’n’t be talkin’ to me.”
    “Off the record.”
    “Honest?”
    “Cross my heart.”
    “I’m drunk.”
    “So you said.”
    “Want that clear.”
    “Where were you between five and seven tonight?”
    “Here.”
    “Doing what?”
    “Lookit my face. Took a lotta time to gum it all on.”
    “Anyone with you?”
    “Nope.”
    “Anyone call?”
    “Naw.”
    “Any way you can prove you were here?”
    “Wha’s this about?”
    “You tell me.”
    “Can’t be Mary.”
    “Why?”
    “Di’n’t see ’er today.”
    “When did you last see her?”
    “I was drunk.”
    “So you said.”
    “I want that clear.”
    “Everybody’s a lawyer.”
    “I need a lawyer?”
    “Do you?”
    “You tell me.”
    “Why do you need a lawyer?”
    “Who says I do?”
    “You,” said Maddy.
    Dag looked confused. “I don’t need a lawyer.”
    “If you say.”
    “The bitch provoked me.”
    “When?”
    “Yesterday.”
    “So?”
    “So what?”
    “So what happened?”
    “Aren’t you s’posed to warn me or somethin’?”
    “What good would that do? You’re drunk, remember?”
    “I am.”
    “You are. That’s settled.”
    “I did it.”
    “Did what?”
    “I was provoked. Mary said she’d take me to the cleaners for spite.”
    “So?”
    “So what?”
    “So you did what?”
    “Let her have it.”
    “You mean you killed Mary?”
    “Huh?” said Dag.
    “Mary’s dead. She’s been murdered.”
    That seemed to sober the Wolf Man up fast, if he was drunk.
    “I want a lawyer.”
    “I thought you didn’t.”
    “One little punch and you’re tryin’ to stitch me up.”
    “Sir—”
    “This is America. I got rights. You shouldn’t question me when I’m drunk. You got a duty to warn me if I’m a suspect. I got a right to silence. And to have a lawyer present. And if I can’t afford one, you got to provide it.”
    “Sir—”
    “ This! Is! America! ”
    “You got me there.”
    “You think I’m stupid? I watch TV.”
    “You want a lawyer?”
    “Fuckin’ right.”
    “Can you afford one?”
    “No,” replied Dag. “Get me Johnnie Cochran.”
    Maddy sighed. “Johnnie who?” she said.

Kline & Shaw
    Vancouver
    Tonight
     
    It was my law associate, Ethan Shaw, who drew the article on the