Gun in Cheek

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Authors: Bill Pronzini
Tags: Mystery & Crime, Humour
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killed him. Or else it was the cleverest suicide I'd ever heard of. ( Take a Murder, Darling )
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The Rand Brothers Mortuary was so beautiful it almost made you want to die. ( Dig That Crazy Grave )
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I was as confused as a sterile rabbit, primarily because I couldn't make up my mind where to look. The little blonde that everybody here at the party called Dot was doing an impromptu can-can, and even if she wasn't dressed for that kind of dance, she sure had the equipment for it. At the same time, over in the far corner of the living room, was a long-limbed lovely built like something designed by a sex fiend. ( Way of a Wanton )
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This was a party that Cholly Knickerbocker, in tomorrow's Los Angeles Examiner , would describe as "a gathering of the Smart Set," and if this was the Smart Set I was glad I belonged to the Stupid Set. ( Strip for Murder )
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    Consider also such plot gimmicks as this one from Strip for Murder (1955): Scott, investigating a murder (and other things) in a nudist camp, is chased by thugs and manages to escape naked in a hot-air balloon, which then carries him on the prevailing winds over Los Angeles and smack up against City Hall, where a secretary leans out a window and recognizes him by peering at a part of his anatomy other than his face. Or this one from Way of a Wanton (1952): Scott, investigating a murder (and other things) on a movie set for a B film called Jungle Girl , is chased by thugs after a nude swim with an actress and manages to escape by swinging Tarzan-like through the trees on a vine, only to come crashing down in the middle of a hundred people who are in the process of filming a burning-at-the-stake scene; the girl tied to the stake takes one look at Scott and says "Aaaahhhh!" After which she bursts her bonds and runs away.
    And consider lastly the following scene from The Cockeyed Corpse (1964), in which Scott, investigating a murder (and other things) on a movie set for a B Western called The Wild West , disguises himself as a papier mâche rock so he can sneak up on the thugs' hideout, which is out in the middle of a desert area. Owing to circumstances beyond his control, he is armed at the time only with a rifle that shoots tranquilizer darts. (He is not, however, nude.) One of the hoods comes outside, sees the rock-draped Scott moving from one spot to another, blinks in amazement, turns around to shout for his pals inside the house, and—
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Then he bent over and put his face in his hands.
Bent way over. And that, of course, was asking for it.
Even using a bean-blower, from this distance I couldn't have missed the vast, magnificent target he presented—magnificent, naturally, only when considered as a target.
I thrust my rifle through the [peep] hole, sighted quickly, and pulled the trigger. There was a little spat, and the projectile went straight and true.
Farmer came running out, gun in his hand. "What in the hell is comin' oft'?" he yelped.
Dodo had turned to face me and was pointing at me with a quivering finger, and with the other hand he started banging Farmer on the shoulder, in a high state of excitement. "You won't believe this," he said. "But that rock just shot me in the ass!"
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    It was only natural, given the popularity of Shell Scott, that Prather, too, would have his imitators. The most notable of these is a husband-and-wife team, Skip and Gloria Fickling, who happened to be close friends of Prather's in the fifties. But the Ficklings were not merely imitators; they took their version of Shell Scott one innovative step further: they made him a woman. And they called her Honey West.
    A good many people are aware of Honey West, but not so much through the series of novels in which she is featured as through the medium of television. Honey first appeared as a character on the old Burke's Law series starring Gene Barry and later had her own show for a couple of seasons, with Anne Francis playing the title role. The reason for her modest

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