busy savouring the meaty filling, the greasy pastry, the tang of the salt and vinegar. Then his fork stalls and clatters back onto the plate, scattering ketchup and chips across the table.
Abby Morgan’s name is the catalyst. On the television, Michelle Morgan spouts forth her tirade against her daughter’s killers, and Mark becomes aware for the first time of the annual vigil. Michelle’s fiery rhetoric tortures him. Forbidden though it is, Mark’s drawn by a desperate need to revisit the small market town on the edge of Dartmoor where Abby Morgan died.
Once the idea takes hold, he finds achieving it straightforward. His meetings with Tony Jackson are currently weekly, due to his recent discharge from prison, but so far Mark’s been compliant enough not to arouse any suspicion in the man. He’s holding down a steady job, he’s not got into any trouble, and the police can’t monitor him twenty-four hours a day.
Moretonhampstead is an easy drive from Bristol, motorway most of the journey. Mark’s there shortly before lunchtime, having taken a day’s leave from work. It’s a weekday, with the March weather being chilly and unpredictable, meaning few tourists have chosen to visit. Certainly nobody who’ll notice or care about him. He’s nervous, though. The obsessive rituals begin the minute he gets out of his car. One, two, buckle my shoe. Mark walks through the town, counting all the way, turning his head away as his route takes him past Abby Morgan’s house. An unavoidable hurdle; Abby’s murder takes place on farmland on the outskirts of Moretonhampstead, and the public right of way he and Adam Campbell use the day she dies lies immediately past her childhood home. Three, four, knock at the door. Michelle Morgan might still live there and even though he doubts she’d recognise Joshua Barker in the face of Mark Slater, the notion of encountering the woman is unendurable.
Mark winds his way down the narrow path, up through the field at the bottom, before turning right towards the scene of Abby’s death. Disappointment floods him at the sense of nothingness he experiences. He’s not sure what he hoped to gain from coming here, but with the farm building demolished, it’s just an ordinary field, the trees on its edge simply trees, the hedges commonplace, the grass unremarkable. Silence surrounds Mark apart from the occasional crow squawk; the cold March wind whips up his hair as he surveys the spot where the old wooden building once stood. Nineteen, twenty, my plate’s empty. No hint of the blood, terror or screams of Abby Morgan lingers in the air and Mark leaves after a mere quarter of an hour.
Throughout the ensuing years, the urge to return never repeats itself. Whatever he’s looking for, he won’t find it in Moretonhampstead.
Ever since Abby Morgan’s death, Mark’s been searching for answers. Atonement, to be precise. The word best describing what he’s been striving for all this time. Hell, not surprising really. A child died because he was too weak to protect her. Sure, he’s already spent ten years in the lock-up, but Michelle Morgan’s right. A decade’s insufficient punishment for a child’s death. Mark has no idea how to achieve atonement, though, despite the familiarity he’s gained with the YouTube videos of the vigil. How can he give Michelle the justice she’s been denied? Wipe the unhappiness from Rachel’s expression? Find out what emotions Shaun experiences behind his impassive façade? Discover why Abby’s father is always absent from the vigil?
Now March 21 is a mere nine days away, and Mark acknowledges his urge for atonement will only intensify during the countdown, particularly if he encounters any more incarnations of Abby. He’s exhausted by trying to sort his complex emotions into some kind of order; from now on, a different approach seems required.
Mark abruptly realises what’s needed.
This year, he’ll attend the vigil.
An insane idea, of course.
Philip Kerr
C.M. Boers
Constance Barker
Mary Renault
Norah Wilson
Robin D. Owens
Lacey Roberts
Benjamin Lebert
Don Bruns
Kim Harrison