everyone at Tana-Mera . S trong and I will be okay. I be weak, they kick me like a dog on the ground. Diablo like me, because I’m strong. ’
Fake it? I can do that.
About thir ty pairs of drunken eyes follow me as I amble in my oversized clothing towards the dinner table.
Strong ... Strong ... Strong ... Shoulders straight … chin up.
The sniggers and the snide remarks be gin the moment I enter the dining room, but I grit my teeth and ignore them. Diablo is seated at the head of the table and watches me with narrow eyes. When I get close to him, h e growls in Spanish at Santana, who is seated at the opposite end of the table.
At first, Santana just gapes at him with slack jaws. Then her green eyes blaze as she argues with Diablo. ‘No!’ she finally says.
Christa jerks up , points to a vacant chair and argues with Diablo.
I don’t want Santana’s seat, I want to go back to my room, back into a wall and chew the last of my nails.
Diablo’s fist suddenly crashes onto the table and I jum p. Santana quickly shuts up and surrenders her seat to me . Christa’s nostrils flare as she silently sits down.
Santana’s shoulder brushes hard against me as she passes me . ‘ Put a !’
‘Sit,’ Maria mouths.
Thanks to my Spanish lessons with Enfermera, I have a fair understanding of Spanish and if they speak slowly enough, I may get all what they’re saying. Still haven’t progressed to really speaking the language though.
We play musical chairs and eventually Santana is seated close to Diablo. You’d think she’d be happy with that? No. Her bottom lip sticks out.
‘My clothes!’ she hisses when she suddenly realises I’m wearing her dress . ‘You give ’em back.’
Fuck off.
As Maria said, they can’t do anything to me because Diablo will not let them.
Frankly, after the way she treated me earlier on, I don’t give a fuck what she thinks or feels. It is the hairy monste r at the head of the table who is unnerving me. He is openly staring at me. Everyone is staring, nobody is eating. Daunted by the eyes on me, I look for a napkin to fidget with. None is available. The fuckers do n’t bother with napkins. I’m really self-conscious now and I sneak a glance at my chest to see how much cleavage I’m revealing . T oo much. Want to be as asexual as possible right now. I surreptitiously hitch the top of my dress to cover up.
Bad move ; Diablo’s notices my move and his gaze rests on my breasts.
Fuck!
Strong ... Strong ... Strong ... Shoulders straight … chin up.
As Maria said, Diablo’s fascination for me stems largely from the fact that I stood up to him, challenged him and did not appear intimidated by him. God! If only he kn ows .
Meanwhile, I will maintain a false bravado and never let him see my white knuckles gripping the edge of the table.
‘Wha t ’s her name again?’ a man with a ruby in his tooth slurs .
‘Payton,’ someone answers.
‘Satan?’
The house shakes with laughter and try as I may, I can’t hide the colour that flushes my face. Diablo is not laughing though. He ’s just staring at me.
A young man with long , dark hair and big muscles mutters in a surly voice, ‘ Leave her alone.
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