Read Online Grace Hardie by Anne Melville - Free Book Online Page B
Authors: Anne Melville
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the floor, and was hardly aware of Dr Sibley striding into the room, nor of Milly picking her up and carrying her to bed. Too much had happened which she did not want to remember. It was a relief when at last the day slipped away into darkness and sleep.
Chapter Four
For as long as Grace could remember, Sundays had been family days. As a family the Hardies walked down the hill to the church at Headington Quarry in the morning, and as a family they sat down to mid-day dinner when they returned. Even little Jay was allowed to leave the nursery for this one meal of the week. Grace had missed two Sundays while she was ill, and on this third one she was left at home whilst the others went to church. But she could get up for the meal, Nanny Crocker told her, and from then on could enjoy the holiday with her brothers as usual, as long as she was careful not to tire herself.
It felt odd to be wearing shoes and stockings again, and to hear her starched petticoat rustling as she walked. Even odder was the sight of her brothers. She had not seen them for three weeks, and looked at them now as though they were strangers. The four elder boys had been made to wear their best knickerbocker suits, although the day was hot. Their hair was sleeked down with water, and they sat stiffly at the table as though afraid of spoiling their unnatural cleanliness. Jay alone was his usual excited self, bouncing dangerously up and down in his high chair as he waited to be served.
The boys were not the only ones to appear restrained. Mrs Hardie looked pale and tired, whilst Mr Hardie silently concentrated on carving the meat instead of providing his usual lively comments on the morningâs sermon. Only when he had said grace and nodded permission for them all to start did the grave expression on his face relax into a smile.
âWeâre all glad to see you down again, Grace. Are you feeling better?â
âYes, thank you, Papa.â Grace looked down at her plate and discovered that she was not hungry. All morning, while the others were at church, she had wondered who would be the first person to mention the baby and to accuse her of hurting him. She ought to keep quiet, and wait to be told what had happened. But until she knew, she could not enjoy her meal or anything else. Fear made her sly: she approached the subject sideways. âPapa, what name did you give to the new baby?â
Her parents looked at each other, and the pause before either of them spoke increased her anxiety.
âHe was christened Felix,â said Mr Hardie. âBut ââ
âIâm afraid he died, darling,â said Mrs Hardie. âHe arrived early, you see. He was very small. Too small to live.â Upset, she looked down at her plate.
So the nightmare had come true. Over and over again while she was ill, Grace had re-lived the moment in which she knocked the baby to the ground in a fit of temper, and those following moments when she had stared at him in the hope that some movement or cry would indicate that he was not too badly hurt. If he was dead, then it must mean that she had killed him. She could not pretend that it was someone elseâs fault, because Kenneth had seen her.
âI didnât mean,â she began slowly â but her father, speaking now with his usual briskness, interrupted her.
âWeâre not going to pull long faces about this, Grace. It was a sad moment when we had to say goodbye. But there are eight people left in this family to be happy together. Not to mention Pepper. Come to think, I havenât seen Pepper around while you were ill. Has he been sleeping in your room?â
Even until that moment, the big dining room had been much quieter than on an ordinary Sunday. But the silencewhich followed the simple question was of a quite different kind. It seemed that all the boys were holding their breath as they waited to learn what Grace was going to say.
She looked round at each of her brothers in
Chapter Four
For as long as Grace could remember, Sundays had been family days. As a family the Hardies walked down the hill to the church at Headington Quarry in the morning, and as a family they sat down to mid-day dinner when they returned. Even little Jay was allowed to leave the nursery for this one meal of the week. Grace had missed two Sundays while she was ill, and on this third one she was left at home whilst the others went to church. But she could get up for the meal, Nanny Crocker told her, and from then on could enjoy the holiday with her brothers as usual, as long as she was careful not to tire herself.
It felt odd to be wearing shoes and stockings again, and to hear her starched petticoat rustling as she walked. Even odder was the sight of her brothers. She had not seen them for three weeks, and looked at them now as though they were strangers. The four elder boys had been made to wear their best knickerbocker suits, although the day was hot. Their hair was sleeked down with water, and they sat stiffly at the table as though afraid of spoiling their unnatural cleanliness. Jay alone was his usual excited self, bouncing dangerously up and down in his high chair as he waited to be served.
The boys were not the only ones to appear restrained. Mrs Hardie looked pale and tired, whilst Mr Hardie silently concentrated on carving the meat instead of providing his usual lively comments on the morningâs sermon. Only when he had said grace and nodded permission for them all to start did the grave expression on his face relax into a smile.
âWeâre all glad to see you down again, Grace. Are you feeling better?â
âYes, thank you, Papa.â Grace looked down at her plate and discovered that she was not hungry. All morning, while the others were at church, she had wondered who would be the first person to mention the baby and to accuse her of hurting him. She ought to keep quiet, and wait to be told what had happened. But until she knew, she could not enjoy her meal or anything else. Fear made her sly: she approached the subject sideways. âPapa, what name did you give to the new baby?â
Her parents looked at each other, and the pause before either of them spoke increased her anxiety.
âHe was christened Felix,â said Mr Hardie. âBut ââ
âIâm afraid he died, darling,â said Mrs Hardie. âHe arrived early, you see. He was very small. Too small to live.â Upset, she looked down at her plate.
So the nightmare had come true. Over and over again while she was ill, Grace had re-lived the moment in which she knocked the baby to the ground in a fit of temper, and those following moments when she had stared at him in the hope that some movement or cry would indicate that he was not too badly hurt. If he was dead, then it must mean that she had killed him. She could not pretend that it was someone elseâs fault, because Kenneth had seen her.
âI didnât mean,â she began slowly â but her father, speaking now with his usual briskness, interrupted her.
âWeâre not going to pull long faces about this, Grace. It was a sad moment when we had to say goodbye. But there are eight people left in this family to be happy together. Not to mention Pepper. Come to think, I havenât seen Pepper around while you were ill. Has he been sleeping in your room?â
Even until that moment, the big dining room had been much quieter than on an ordinary Sunday. But the silencewhich followed the simple question was of a quite different kind. It seemed that all the boys were holding their breath as they waited to learn what Grace was going to say.
She looked round at each of her brothers in
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