Read Online Good Omens by Neil Gaiman - Free Book Online Page A

started counting, you’d be bound to get to it eventually. But you had to smile.
    Sable and his accountant had just come from a small, expensive, and particularly exclusive restaurant in Greenwich Village, where the cuisine was entirely nouvelle: a string bean, a pea, and a sliver of chicken breast, aesthetically arranged on a square china plate.
    Sable had invented it the last time he’d been in Paris.
    His accountant had polished her meat and two veg off in under fifty seconds, and had spent the rest of the meal staring at the plate, the cutlery, and from time to time at her fellow diners, in a manner that suggested that she was wondering what they’d taste like, which was in fact the case. It had amused Sable enormously.
    He toyed with his Perrier.
    â€œTwelve million, huh? That’s pretty good.”
    â€œThat’s great .”
    â€œSo we’re going corporate. It’s time to blow the big one, am I right? California, I think. I want factories, restaurants, the whole schmear. We’ll keep the publishing arm, but it’s time to diversify. Yeah?”
    Frannie nodded. “Sounds good, Sable. We’ll need—”
    She was interrupted by a skeleton. A skeleton in a Dior dress, with tanned skin stretched almost to snapping point over the delicate bones of the skull. The skeleton had long blond hair and perfectly made-up lips: she looked like the person mothers around the world would point to, muttering, “That ’s what’ll happen to you if you don’t eat your greens”; she looked like a famine-relief poster with style.
    She was New York’s top fashion model, and she was holding a book. She said, “Uh, excuse me, Mr. Sable, I hope you don’t mind me intruding, but, your book, it changed my life, I was wondering, would you mind signing it for me?” She stared imploringly at him with eyes deep-sunk in gloriously eyeshadowed sockets.
    Sable nodded graciously, and took the book from her.
    It was not surprising that she had recognized him, for his dark gray eyes stared out from his photo on the foil-embossed cover. Foodless Dieting: Slim Yourself Beautiful , the book was called; The Diet Book of the Century!
    â€œHow do you spell your name?” he asked.
    â€œ Sherryl . Two Rs, one Y, one L.”
    â€œYou remind me of an old, old friend,” he told her, as he wrote swiftly and carefully on the title page. “There you go. Glad you liked it. Always good to meet a fan.”
    What he’d written was this:
    Sherryl ,
    A measure of wheat for a penny, and three measures of barley
    for a penny, and see thou hurt not the oil and the wine .
    Rev. 6:6 .
    Dr. Raven Sable .
    â€œIt’s from the Bible,” he told her.
    She closed the book reverently and backed away from the table, thanking Sable, he didn’t know how much this meant to her, he had changed her life, truly he had. …
    He had never actually earned the medical degree he claimed, since there hadn’t been any universities in those days, but Sable could see she was starving to death. He gave her a couple of months at the outside. Foodless . Handle your weight problem, terminally.
    Frannie was stabbing at her laptop computer hungrily, planning the next phase in Sable’s transformation of the eating habits of the Western World. Sable had bought her the machine as a personal present. It was very, very expensive, very powerful, and ultra-slim. He liked slim things.
    â€œThere’s a European outfit we can buy into for the initial toehold—Holdings (Holdings) Incorporated. That’ll give us the Liechtenstein tax base. Now, if we channel funds out through the Caymans, into Luxembourg, and from there to Switzerland, we could pay for the factories in … ”
    But Sable was no longer listening. He was remembering the exclusive little restaurant. It had occurred to him that he had never seen so many rich people so hungry.
    Sable grinned, the honest, open