Read Online Going Out in Style by Gloria Dank - Free Book Online Page B
Authors: Gloria Dank
Ads: Link
about?”
It turned out that MacGregor cleaned and cooked a bit for a few other households in town. There were the Whitakers, of course; there was old Mrs. O’Donnell who lived on that road with the name of one of those spices, MacGregor could never remember, parsley or cloves or oregano or something; there were Miss Lowell and Dr. Schneider over on Palomino Grove, and finally there were Mr. and Mrs. Milhausen on Russell Lane. Etta did not think much of this. “It’s not my fault, MacGregor, if you persecute other people, too. And the name of that road is Nutmeg Lane. By the way, did you know that the Milhausens’ son was getting married? Yes? To someone he met in the Peace Corps in Belize? Yes? Did Mrs. Milhausen say anything about it to you?”
The talk turned to topics of mutual interest and amused speculation.
“Letter for you,” said Maya. “From California.”
Snooky groaned. “Another from William?”
“I don’t think so. The return address says Maxwell.”
“Deirdre?” Snooky grabbed the letter and tore it out of the envelope. He scanned it rapidly.
Dear Snooky
(it read),
I just wanted to let you know that Fred and I will be getting married this spring, and how sorry I am to have hurt your feelings. I am really, truly, deeply sorry that Fred and I met while I was living with you, and I wanted to make sure there were no bad feelings, because I have enough negative karma to worry about without adding this on. Please come visit us if you are ever back in this area. Yours in the Dharma, Deirdre
Maya scanned the letter, then put it down on the table. “Fred is the medieval history professor?”
“Yes.”
“She sounds sensitive, Snooks. Really sensitive. One of your better choices. The part about the negative karma brought tears to my eyes.”
“I’m going to scream,” Snooky said despondently. “Excuse me, Maya. I’m going to go upstairs and scream.”
“I wouldn’t do that if I were you. Bernard’s in his study, and you know how he is about loud noises.”
“All right. I’ll go into the living room and scream. I’ve never felt this bad in my entire life. Excuse me.”
A little while later Bernard came downstairs and pouredhimself a cup of coffee. He cocked his head toward the living room and said, “What’s that thin wailing sound, Maya?”
“It’s Snooky screaming.”
“Really? Why is he doing that?”
“His girlfriend just wrote to tell him she’s getting married.”
Bernard read the letter, then checked his watch. “Do you think he’ll be done soon? There’s a program I want to watch at eight o’clock.”
“I don’t know, sweetheart. You could go ask him yourself.”
“Never mind. I can watch upstairs on the little TV.”
“You could get him to move if you wanted.”
“No. It’s good for him. Get his feelings out and all that.”
“Very liberated of you, Bernard.”
Bernard motioned toward the letter. “This girl doesn’t seem to be much of a prize, does she?”
“No, but then, you know I never think anybody’s good enough for him.”
“Do you think you could maybe get him to tune down the high frequencies? Misty’s upstairs in my study, and her hair’s all standing on end.”
“I don’t know. I’ll do what I can.”
“Thanks.”
“I’ve made a decision,” Snooky said.
Maya passed him the bowl of mashed potatoes. “What’s that, Snooks?”
“I’ve decided that I’m doomed never to have a successful relationship with a woman. Don’t you agree, Bernard?”
“Yes.”
“Therefore, I’ve decided to get a pet. You know. Like animal therapy. Someone to share my life with.”
“Sounds pathetic,” said Maya. “Any particular kind of pet in mind? Lions or tigers or bears?”
“Snakes,” said Bernard, “are supposed to be extremely affectionate creatures.”
“I don’t want a snake.”
Bernard heaped a mountain of mashed potatoes next to his teepee of green beans. “Tarantulas,” he said mildly, “have very giving
It turned out that MacGregor cleaned and cooked a bit for a few other households in town. There were the Whitakers, of course; there was old Mrs. O’Donnell who lived on that road with the name of one of those spices, MacGregor could never remember, parsley or cloves or oregano or something; there were Miss Lowell and Dr. Schneider over on Palomino Grove, and finally there were Mr. and Mrs. Milhausen on Russell Lane. Etta did not think much of this. “It’s not my fault, MacGregor, if you persecute other people, too. And the name of that road is Nutmeg Lane. By the way, did you know that the Milhausens’ son was getting married? Yes? To someone he met in the Peace Corps in Belize? Yes? Did Mrs. Milhausen say anything about it to you?”
The talk turned to topics of mutual interest and amused speculation.
“Letter for you,” said Maya. “From California.”
Snooky groaned. “Another from William?”
“I don’t think so. The return address says Maxwell.”
“Deirdre?” Snooky grabbed the letter and tore it out of the envelope. He scanned it rapidly.
Dear Snooky
(it read),
I just wanted to let you know that Fred and I will be getting married this spring, and how sorry I am to have hurt your feelings. I am really, truly, deeply sorry that Fred and I met while I was living with you, and I wanted to make sure there were no bad feelings, because I have enough negative karma to worry about without adding this on. Please come visit us if you are ever back in this area. Yours in the Dharma, Deirdre
Maya scanned the letter, then put it down on the table. “Fred is the medieval history professor?”
“Yes.”
“She sounds sensitive, Snooks. Really sensitive. One of your better choices. The part about the negative karma brought tears to my eyes.”
“I’m going to scream,” Snooky said despondently. “Excuse me, Maya. I’m going to go upstairs and scream.”
“I wouldn’t do that if I were you. Bernard’s in his study, and you know how he is about loud noises.”
“All right. I’ll go into the living room and scream. I’ve never felt this bad in my entire life. Excuse me.”
A little while later Bernard came downstairs and pouredhimself a cup of coffee. He cocked his head toward the living room and said, “What’s that thin wailing sound, Maya?”
“It’s Snooky screaming.”
“Really? Why is he doing that?”
“His girlfriend just wrote to tell him she’s getting married.”
Bernard read the letter, then checked his watch. “Do you think he’ll be done soon? There’s a program I want to watch at eight o’clock.”
“I don’t know, sweetheart. You could go ask him yourself.”
“Never mind. I can watch upstairs on the little TV.”
“You could get him to move if you wanted.”
“No. It’s good for him. Get his feelings out and all that.”
“Very liberated of you, Bernard.”
Bernard motioned toward the letter. “This girl doesn’t seem to be much of a prize, does she?”
“No, but then, you know I never think anybody’s good enough for him.”
“Do you think you could maybe get him to tune down the high frequencies? Misty’s upstairs in my study, and her hair’s all standing on end.”
“I don’t know. I’ll do what I can.”
“Thanks.”
“I’ve made a decision,” Snooky said.
Maya passed him the bowl of mashed potatoes. “What’s that, Snooks?”
“I’ve decided that I’m doomed never to have a successful relationship with a woman. Don’t you agree, Bernard?”
“Yes.”
“Therefore, I’ve decided to get a pet. You know. Like animal therapy. Someone to share my life with.”
“Sounds pathetic,” said Maya. “Any particular kind of pet in mind? Lions or tigers or bears?”
“Snakes,” said Bernard, “are supposed to be extremely affectionate creatures.”
“I don’t want a snake.”
Bernard heaped a mountain of mashed potatoes next to his teepee of green beans. “Tarantulas,” he said mildly, “have very giving
Similar Books
